My girlfriend said she got assaulted but I think she cheated?

[Anonymous]

Okay I know this is a testy subject for the nature but hear me out.

My girlfriend said her ex forced her into a sexual act. My question here is why the hell was she with her ex in the first place, shady as hell.

Two she changed her story a few times saying she was scared of telling me. Understandable but still quite shady.

She kept talking to him over Instagram, mind you brushing him off at all points and she seemed like she was legit scared of him in her defense.

I honestly dont know what to do. I took her to therapy and she is doing well and such but I still have nagging doubt of her fidelity. I guess I dont trust her because before dating me she used to be a bit of a slut. She never cheated on her past bfs that I know off but I know she even had a mmf threesome which to me is the mark of a total whore not gonna lie.

Feminist or mgtow please understand that all radical answers to one side or another will be ignored

Things that make me believe her:
- she is genuinely scared of the guy
- she showed me the conversations with him
- she doesn't even want to see Male doctors and dropped ALL her Male friends

Things that dont:
- she changed her story a few times
-she talked with him after the fact
- she used to be a bit of a slut

[Unit1]

It does not matter what she does after cheating "being raped" by her ex. It matters, that she did not do anything to avoid the chances of it happening. (Attention pink downvotes! I'm ready for you all!)

She talked to him.
She met up with him and hung out in his proximity.
After being busted she still talks to him

Did anybody force her?
Only a blind cuckold would tolerate this.

My suggestion: Toss her into the dumpster with full force, so that the dumpster cap falls to close itself afterwards and consider the loss being hers, not yours. Clap your hands when you're done and move on.

[Asker]

Exactly while I wouldn't be a cold to say the lower paragraph heactions are still shady rape or not

[Unit1]

Seriously get your respect up and get rid of that trash bag.

[OlderAndWiser]

She bears "the mark of a total whore" but you are in a relationship with her. Why?

Are you ever going to trust this woman?
Would you want her to be the role model for your future daughters?
Would you trust her to raise your children if you died when they were still small children?

[Asker]

Well she told me the threesome after we were commited if not I would've not gotten with her tbh

Honestly she is not a bad person just slutty and shady. I think she'll be a good mom. Not to mention she already falsely accused one her innocent guy friends when I caught her in the lie she changed to this guy.

[OlderAndWiser]

Dude, if she is lying to you about what happened, you need to kick her to the curb!

[Asker]

That's what I'mtrying to find outr

[Horror_lover]

Have you talked about going to the police?
I can believe her, only because my auntie went to her ex only because she wanted the truth, he was a mean person and he treated her terrible, they were talking a couple of times, my mom told me how she remembered when they all tried warning her but she went to him anyway and found out he tried beating her to death.
But I don't know why she kept changing her story though.

[Asker]

She refused to press charges

[Horror_lover]

Well if she really did get raped, you can do it for her.

[Logorithim]

Forme the clincher here is that sheceas with hom, and without your knowledge. I do believe something nonconsensual happened, but she showed poor amd inexcusable judgement in being alone with him. Contacting him after that is also inexcusable.

I think you should break up with her.

[Asker]

Exactly my point and well I dont wanna take her back tto her house until I'm sure she is safe

[Logorithim]

Yeah , of course not, and dont break up with her until she us ok emotionally.

[Asker]

Yeah 100%won't till the smoke clears

[Anonymous]

She was alone with him and you didn't know about it. That would be enough for me.

A woman who's scared of a man wouldn't contact him. A woman who's scared of a man telling the truth and ruining her life would.

She didn't file charges on him or have a rape kit done.

She changed her story more than once. Think about that. Someone who's scared to tell you the truth will go from a lie to the truth when called out on it. One story change. Multiple changes mean that she was still coming up with ways to make the story sound more believable.

All information points toward cheating and using a rape story to cover up the truth.

[Johnnie1000]

Shes' lying. This is a story to cover something up. Maybe infidelity, an affair. She can't be too afraid of men if she has been slutty with men. By they way, what kind of therapy. Behind closed doors you don't know what she is saying. Is she playing you for attention. By the way if she has this hate or fear of men what is she doing with you? If this hate or fear of men is real then she will turn on you before too long. She will be telling people you raped her.

[Anonymous]

People seem to forget about false rape accusations etc, all you white knights need to sit down.

Then threats to "punch you" in the face. Pathetic.

[Asker]

Yeah sadly even if she did get raped the situation is stilstill shady af. I wouldn't trust her either way

[Opinion Owner]

It all sounds messed up to be honest. My thoughts are that you need solid evidence about rape etc and that if there is no trust between you two, even the slightest doubt, it's not fair on either of you and the relationship needs to end.

[betaTester]

This is why I don't date girls who had been in a threesome, a lot of drama

[betaTester]

also, as someone who isn't a total cuck, I think she cheated on you.

[Anonymous]

If you don't trust her more than that, she's better off without you.

[SarahsSummer]

what do you mean by you "took her to therapy"?

[Asker]

Called RAINN she talked then we got a therapist and a psychiatrist she'sbeen two four sessions and is on meds. I also quit my job and work from home because she is scared to be alone

[SarahsSummer]

this all a result of her sexual assault?

[theWhalers]

Pretty sure he’s either full of shit or just exaggerating. Psychiatrists tend to be extremely expensive and seeing a therapist on top of that is ludicrous to me.

[SarahsSummer]

@theWhalers Therapists can really help when someones had a traumatic experience. Sounds like maybe you should see a therapist as well. Maybe couples counselling. You appear quite angry.

[theWhalers]

I know they can help. And yeah, I am angry. With him. I don’t take kindly to guys that don’t trust their own girlfriends when they say they have been raped. So since he doesn’t trust that she has been, suddenly He’s quitting work and getting hundreds of dollars worth of medication and therapy for her? I call bs on that.

[SarahsSummer]

@theWhalers My apologies, I thought you and the asker were one in the same

[theWhalers]

No problem Sarah. Sorry I’m a bit... pissed... with this jackass, and I took some of that out on you. I apologize.

[SarahsSummer]

@theWhalers no worries.

[Asker]

Well I'm actually well off and just so you know therapy is free of charge for sexual assault victims and I can copay on the medicine with our insurance

[SarahsSummer]

I'm happy for you? couples therapy should be utilized as well though

[Asker]

Couples therapy won't make me believe her though. I'm just doing whatever she asks me too therapy I take her, meds done, tell the guy to fuck off and risk looking like an idiot done, she doesn't want to press charges so Im left with nothing but to have to shut up and I have to believe her unlikely story or if not I'm a complete asshole

[SarahsSummer]

Yeah, you need some therapy as well. Your bitterness will come to the surface in the relationship sooner or later.

[Asker]

It will cause I honest to God dont believe aword she is saying. I know to some i might seem like and asshole but she already falsely accused another guy.

She was hanging out with her ex and she gotsexually assaulted then sheclaims they picked friend 2 and sheaccused friend 2 first turned out to be a lie now she accused ex. I call bullshit

[SarahsSummer]

Please get some therapy to heal

[Asker]

I will but I honestly will just break upwith her as soon as she is better

[SarahsSummer]

Good luck

[Asker]

But yoyou gotta admit her story sounds like utter bullshit

[SarahsSummer]

It’s difficult to form a valid opinion based on one side of the discussion.

[Asker]

Well I've pointed out both the bad and the good I've talked to everyone involved so I'm the only one that knows everything.

One day she tells me she is going to hang out with a friend. After that she gets home actingsketchy and guilty. A month later she tells me a friend tried to kiss her and she rejected him I believe her.

Two weeks later she storty. changed story. this goes on for months. One day I asked her for the truth she claims a friend stole a kiss and groped her breasts. I find the guy confront him and he tells me she was being sketchy saying I was justher sugar daddy and walkingabout sex while she is shitfaced drunk.

I confronther about it and she tells me that this guy didn't do anything it was the ex while they were going to pick up guy 2 he forced asexual act on her. Soundslike utter bullshit

[SarahsSummer]

Actually, it sounds like SHE is the only one that knows everything.

[Asker]

You only say that because you're a woman and the rape word came out. false accusations are real and I'm sure that even you think what she sasaisasaid is sketchy and sounds like a blatant lie. So what is your honest opinion on this then?

[SarahsSummer]

You really need to get you anger in check dude. I dont say this because am a woman! I say only she knows everything because you dont believe half of what she's saying so some may be truth and some may be lies. You are frustrated not knowing which is which so again, The only one who knows the full truth of what happened to her IS HER. Smarten UP!!

[Asker]

So what should I do pretend I'm fine with it and either be a guy who abandoned her raped girlfriend or the idiot who got lied to I lose either way

[SarahsSummer]

Well, you should start be apologizing to me. Beyond that, I told you. You should get some therapy for yourself and probably couples counseling if you are interested in saving the relationship.

[Asker]

I'll gladly apologize to you for whatever I did but what is it I did?

[SarahsSummer]

Like I said, Only she knows exactly what happened to her so you are kind of blindly trying to be the good guy to her but you have your concerns about looking like a chump. You aren't going to get the real and complete truth here. That's why I suggest couples counseling. Open discussion with a mediator to help you all get to the truth and understanding in the matter. Without that, you are only going to grow more and more bitter which won't be good for her, for you, or for your relationship.

[Asker]

I know growing bitter won't help but atm couples therapy won't help she has rejected it as well so I can't force her

[SarahsSummer]

If she’s rejected it, she’s basically saying she’s not interested in bettering the relationship. Something think about as you support her.

[theWhalers]

I am glad I didn’t hear this in person

[Asker]

Why is that? I confronted the guy and made susursusure she is safe I'm allowed to have my doubts just because a girlcalls rape doesn't mean its truec

[theWhalers]

Because of my girl said this to me, I’ll believe her until it’s demonstrably proven otherwise. So to hear that you think your girl is lying about being raped, tells me you’re either a troll or an asshole. Neither are held in high regard with me and don’t bother telling me you aren’t.

[theWhalers]

What’s your username

[Asker]

I'm not gonna say that and I'm not an asshole if I was I wouldn't have taken her to my house so she feels safe. I dknt believe her shit but I still play her game and do my part okeeping her away from the guy to make sure she is safe just in case

[theWhalers]

So you don’t believe her? Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t hear this in person.

[theWhalers]

And yes, you are an asshole for not believing a possible rape victim.

[Asker]

She's shady for being with her ex point and simple

[Asker]

I'll make sure she's safe because she is a possible rape victim but that doesn't mean I have to believe her

[theWhalers]

Who gives a shit? It literally means nothing except she was physically hanging out. It doesn’t attest to her behavior, his behavior, states of mind, actions or anything. Fuck you.

[theWhalers]

I hope she leaves you. Truly.

[Asker]

Kinda does because she wasn't okay with metalking to any of my exes sheeven made me stop talking with my best female friend cause we had sex when we were 14 yet she was out with her ex? The fuck outa here some shadyshit is afooti

[theWhalers]

It really doesn’t. She’s controlling to you, and hangs out with an ex like a hypocrite. But that has no bearing on if she was raped. I sincerely hope she leaves you for someone who actually cares enough to trust her.

[Asker]

Oh well I hope she does too because I dont want to be with no hypocrite who cheats

[theWhalers]

Fair enough. Just do you both a favor and leave her. She deserves a real man and you deserve... honestly Jack crap

[Asker]

Mr white knight let me ask you something. I dont believe her for a few things
-she was with her ex and hates me talking to mine
-sheused to be a slut
-she lied
Last and most important she accused falsely a different friend thenwhen I caught her in that lie she changed to this guy

[theWhalers]

And what are you going to ask me lol? Who gives a shit. My ex had 19 former partners, is still a heavy pot smoker, lies and gaslights me and treated me like meat. When she brought up she was raped at a party, I believed her. And you know what happened? It was fucking true.

[Asker]

It might be true I'lladmit the guy acts shady and and I'm looking into it but she alreadyfalsely accused a guy so I can't help but to call bullshit

[theWhalers]

Then we are completely different people and she definitely deserves a good man, something she clearly doesn’t have right now.

[theWhalers]

again, what were you going to ask me before you went on ranting again?

[Asker]

If you would still believe her knowing shealready falsely accused a friend? Then I caught her lie and changed to the current "rapist"

[theWhalers]

Yeah I would until it’s been demonstrably proven that she was not raped.

[Asker]

Then I'll admit you're a bigger man than me

[theWhalers]

That’s been Apparent for a while now.

[Vulture051]

Does the ex know she's accusing him of rape?

[Asker]

Yes I confronted him about it he denied anything consensual or none consensual happened.

He said nothing happened that they just bnbhad lunch and hung out platonically. I'm 100% sure something did happen obviously and his behaviour is suspicious as hell too because after I accused him and told him everything I know

He said: I didn't do shit and blocked me. Then her phone ring text message saying " I know you told I told you not to tell"
I called the number no answer but bbn it was a text now ap with the area code of his general area (we live off her state now)

Then I showed him this too and all he said was " that's not my number " and blocked my second account.

[Anonymous]

You deserve to be punched

[Asker]

Why? Aside from the whore thing what else is bad about of what said? Any guy would have doubts

[Opinion Owner]

Any insecure guy would have doubts. You said yourself, she hasn’t cheated on her past partners, she seemed genuinely scared of him and yet here you are calling her a slut and a whore because of the choices she made before she got into a relationship. Literally everything you said is bad.

[Asker]

Well girls who fuck two guys at once are slutty point and simple.

Girls throw the insecure label when its convenient but is shady she wawith her ex alone at all. Shady that she lied from the get go.

That's not insecurity that's just a legit reasons to distrust a partner. I'm not okay with being with her eyes guys friends are okay and she herself got madwhen I my ex called me and made me not talk to her anymoreyet she washanging out in person with her ex the fuck outa here

[Opinion Owner]

Then why the fuck are you dating her if she’s that much of a slut to you? You clearly don’t fucking trust her when she told you something as serious as that. She deserves so much more than a piece of shit like you, I hope she realises she can do so much better and dumps your insecure ass and finds someone better.

[Asker]

I definitely dont trust her one bit. I do however take good carcare of her and keep her safe from her "rapist" I even confronted the guy and told him to stop talking to her because she asked me too. Took her to therapy and I never told her idont believe her.

I've lied to her saying I do believe her. I make sure she eats and listen to her when she needs metoo.

I'm not forced to believe her if I dont I dont that's not something I decided. If she came to me from the start and off ththe bat told me I would've off but shshe false accused one of her other guy friends of "stealing a kiss" instead of the "rapist"

I caught her in this lie and then she moved on to accuse current guy. Nobody would believe her at this point

[Opinion Owner]

Just break up with her and stop wasting her time