Ladies, what would you do if you got pregnant but your boyfriend wasn't happy about it?

Question

So let's say you've been together for a year or 2 and your perfectly happy together, you get pregnant and you tell your boyfriend and he isn't happy about it but you want to keep it. He agrees to be the dad and stays with you but you can see threw the hole 9 mouths he still doesn't seem happy bout becoming a dad and still isn't happy about it when the baby is born. I ask this BC I can't see myself ever being happy becoming a dad but if I love the girl enough just going a long with it. What would you do if you could tell he wasn't happy about it but you loved him

Prettygurl12 · Accepted Answer

*I* don't want kids so I imagine I'd be very upset about it lol and I'm MARRIED and I know my husband would be upset about it.

We don't want kids but now absolutely isn't the best time to have a kid. I'm the only income (I'm a cop so no light duty there lol) and he's in law school full time without a job. It'd be HORRIBLE if I were to get pregnant now. Actual Hell.

We'd handle the situation accordingly.

Now... if I were merely dating a guy and I were of the habit of premarital sex and I wound up pregnant and he was upset about it well... then we'd probably part ways. Assuming I wanted to keep the child I'm sure there'd be legal paperwork drafted to sever his ties to the child.

I have a friend who got pregnant in college and the guy was pissed about it so they broke up and she had papers drawn up where he forfeited his paternal rights to the child. The agreement was that he did not exist in this child's life. He didn't get visitation. Didn't have to pay child support. He was not to contact the child in any way.

Worked great for 5 years and this his dumb ass knocked up another girl and she wanted him to pay child support so he tried to claim this first kid in court (I guess it helps with how much he had to pay the second lady?) and my friend wasn't having it. The guy thought their agreement would still stand. He'd continue not supporting child 1 but get the financial break with regard to child 2.

My friend was like hell no. Dragged his ass to court like, "You want to claim this child? Then you're going to CLAIM this child. Visitation. Child support. The whole everything." Annnd now the guy is basically broke because his plan backfired lol

weasley8 · Accepted Answer

If I wanted to keep it, I would make that very clear to him, and I would give him a chance to opt out at the beginning of pregnancy, with the understanding that the forms that free him from the responsibility of child support also take away his right to custody of the child. If he doesn't want to be a part of it's life, he doesn't have to, but if he makes that decision, I don't want to have to get approval from him about how to raise my child, and I don't want him to have a door to change his mind years later and wreak havoc in the kids life.

I wouldn't make him give up custody if he didn't want to. But if he didn't want to keep the kid, we would break up, hopefully on good terms. And even if he did give up custody, he could still ask about the kid any time he wanted, and if he wanted to be a part of the kid's life, I would allow it. I just don't want to need his approval if I want to move, or something like that. And I don't want him to be able to demand to immediately be a big part of the kid's life after years of not seeing the kid. It's his choice.

BrittBratt2416 · Accepted Answer

I would be disappointed, I would know right then and there that I would be single mother and would just have to get myself ready for kind of life a head. I would not want him staying for the sake of staying, I want him to stay cause he wants to be there and raise our kid happily as a family. People staying just to stay results in resent and pent up angry cause they feel trapped when they know they could just leave the relationship. I would ask him to kindly help raise our child cause i think having a father is important, I don't want to have to turn into the kind of woman who has to beg, scream, or threaten a man to raise/support his child. That sounds like a headache. If doesn't want to willingly, then sadly we would have to involve the court system.

CherryRoseChampange · Accepted Answer

I would tell my partner we can't be together because I eventually want at least one kid. We can adopt or whatever. I just want one because I want to experience motherhood and raising a family. Even if it's small.

So really I'd never be in a situation like that because I ask people what they want before we become serious. If they said they don't want a family ever, that doesn't align with me so I wouldn't go forward. You have to find someone who wants what you want too. Don't settle because you'll never be happy.

Find a girl who doesn't want kids basically.

jgokgotit · Accepted Answer

Abortion is not acceptable so he would just have to live with it. If two consenting adults have sex they must be prepared for the consequences. It is wrong to terminate a life just because it is an unwanted inconvenience from a bad choice.

AynonOMouse · Accepted Answer

Ha ha, another immature blocker huh Ghost? lol Then what would happen if the woman didn't want it but the man did? I'm sure you would still think he has no rights/choice in that situation too huh?

lumos · Answer

I would never get into a situation like that in the first place. If I'm having a baby, it'll be planned and with someone who absolutely does want it. Any accidental or unwanted pregnancies would be aborted. I also don't see myself even wanting to keep the baby if my partner doesn't want to keep it. Half of the joy of having a child should be having it with someone who loves you and is looking forward to the baby as much as you are. If I can't have that, then I don't want the baby.

ghostqueen · Answer

Throw his ass away. I couldn't even stand the idea of being with someone while pregnant and them not being into it. Financially pay for your accidental nut and kick rocks.

ElissaDido · Answer

I'm not having a child before i get married mostly because I don't want to have sex before marriage.
However if I were to hypothetically get pregnant while dating, the solution would depend on many factors.
1- we get married quickly and I keep the baby
2- if he doesn't want to get married and the baby is still not 3 months old I will get an abortion.

MzAsh · Answer

The problem is, your unhappiness would manifest into being a disfunctional father and husband. You’d resent her for having a baby and she’d resent you for not being happy and enthusiastic about it. Divorce begging to happen.

Apple1996 · Answer

He could leave and pay me for 18 years

sejla · Answer

All I can say is double protection.

Agirlcalledkill · Answer

I don’t know how to answer because I don’t want kids so I would never ever want to keep it myself. But on the reversed situation if my boyfriend really really wanted to be a dad and have a kid, I may agree someday just because I love him a lot ( 2 years are not enough for me to decide to make a family with someone, at least 10 😂) . My boyfriend knows I don’t want to become a mother and as he knows that most of the work would have to be done by me, even though he wants kids he never pressures me to get pregnant and respects my decision

lucidhope · Answer

If you’re gonna do the thing that makes babies, you can’t be like the pikachu surprised face meme. No method id 100% safe. Any body should step up and take responsibility for their actions, however, a lot of people don’t. Even if you weren’t happy about it you’d have to realize you need to do what’s best for the baby, especially because it’s not their fault. Who knows, the moment you laid eyes on the baby your opinion might instantly change. If I got pregnant and my partner wasn’t happy, i’d still expect him to step up. If he chose to act like a little bitch I’d just tell him to leave. I’d have all the help and support I needed with other people, and would eventually find someone who didn’t act younger than the baby I was gonna have/had.

peculiaremowhale · Answer

boyfriend gets dumped plain and simple. if he can't be ready in 9 months he won't be emotionally supportive when you need him most. you'll be taking care of that baby, he will think you will take care of him too. but who will take care of you? who will help with that child? love yourself, love your child, and don't hang on to dead weight that won't emotionally lift you up on a pedestal. When your a mother, you should be treated like a goddess. you carried his and your child, you grew and nourished life. who does he think he is moping about such a beautiful miracle?

fauchelevent · Answer

I mean, the example you gave shows that we've already had the baby and at that point, there isn't much that we can do. Either he has to buck up and be a father or he can leave, I'm not going to put the baby up for adoption but if he's not happy to be a dad to our child then I'm not going to stay with him either.

If he tells me early in the relationship that he isn't happy, then I would consider why. If the reason is that he just doesn't want to be a father, then I'd end the relationship, if it's just not the right time then I'd probably agree to an abortion as long as we did have a child at some point.

jacerach · Answer

I would never pressure a guy into having a child if that's something he doesn't want. Same as him forcing me to not have children because of what he wants. If you both do not have the same future goals then its time to call it quits.

Anonymous · Answer

Abort it. I don't want a baby, and don't want to go through 9 months of suffering. It's a win for us both.

Anonymous · Answer

I’d say that might influence the woman to have an abortion or adopt the child out which is extremely hard.

I had an unexpected pregnancy a few years ago, the guy I was dating at the time didn’t want it. I also didn’t want to do it alone so I had an abortion. Now that I think back on it, I would have told him to go fuck himself. No offense.

PinkMichae · Answer

It would be awful to go through a pregnancy knowing my man is unhappy. But I would deal with it and so will he. We both had sex knowing what the risk were so it's our responsibility to grow up and be the best parents we can be to our innocent child that didn't ask to be here. If down the line things get to unhappy then he can leave and I will still make sure my child grows up in a happy home.

singlemomof3 · Answer

A child being brought into a situation where one parent don’t want it will only be damaging to the child and lead to resentment in the relationship later on u need to make the choice to 1. Abort the child (personally not my choice of something to do in a situation like this )
2. Leave and raise it yourself
3. wait it out and see if he comes around when the child is born if he don’t look into option 2 whatever u decided to do make sure it’s a decision u can live the rest of live with

MissKittyz · Answer

That's why I always make sure I date a guy who love kids and want to be a father someday because being unhappy when your girlfriend is pregnant is a huge red flag. I'd probably leave him though and keep the baby. I don't want someone who doesn't want to be a father to be in my life.

BrookieCookie0422 · Answer

Preventative medicine is the best medicine. Do what you can to prevent getting put in that situation. Having children is no joke.

I couldn’t bring myself to abort a child and I would except the guy I’m with to be supportive and willing to take responsibility if I got pregnant.

leahzrc · Answer

I would keep the baby and if he doesn't, he doesn't have to be involved with me or the baby, i don't like or want babies, im pro-choice, but if I was going to have a baby, I would want the baby to be someone great and I want to be someone great for someone else. I would care for the baby and love them because I want to be the parent I never had.

Anonymous · Answer

If he wanted, he could leave, but I would expect child support (it takes two to tango, he knew the risks before hand.) and I wouldn't get an abortion.

I wouldn't get in this situation in the first place though, I would only consider having a kid with somebody who wanted one and who was committed to both me and said child.

Anonymous · Answer

I would have the baby, it's not just something like a chocolate that you can discard if you don't want, it's a life growing inside of her. A new person the guy and the girl. If you didn't want to be a dad, then you should've known how to not have a kid. There are many anticonceptives to prevent pregnancy.

Kat-__o · Answer

I would leave the guy. If I got pregnant and he wanted nothing to do with the baby why would I subject myself and the pregnancy to that kind of treatment? It's not healthy for the expectant mother or child.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Why not get a vasectomy? Then you dont need to worry. In your senario, i can't imagine it being healthy for the kid or the relationship. Separating would be best

LuWe22 · Answer

Ideal would I be to talk about it before it happens. We talked about kids and we similar views we both don't want to have kids. Please don’t keep your opinion about kids in the dark for two years. Talk about it and communicate your wishes

NanaaG · Answer

I wouldn't make a baby with someone like that in the first place... and if a surprise happens I would make it clear that he doesn't have to stay in my life because of the child and its up to him if he wants to be a parent with me or not

Anonqueryer · Answer

I would RUN in the opposite direction. If I had a child, that child’s wellbeing would now become my ultimate concern so I would want to have a chance of finding a relationship with a man who could be a positive father figure to my child.

mommatoldl · Answer

I wasn't happy when I was pregnant. Even after he was born. 5 years layer I couldn't imagine my life with out that little shit and if probably kill someone over him. Once he/she is here, you'll be hooked. Don't worry.

linds34 · Answer

I think my boyfriend would be happy about it, but I wouldn't do anything drastic if he wasn't. I assume once I had the baby he would be pretty happy even though he was not happy about the pregnancy.

pleasestopthis · Answer

Wow, that sucks. I only know that I wouldn't like to force the paternity on him, it would be painful to know that my child has a dad that doesn't want to be there. If he wants me to abort I suppose I'll ditch him and raise the kid by myself.

lexi36c · Answer

Just let him no that its ok... cuzz its not his anywway

Ellie-V · Answer

I’d tell them to kick rocks and go somewhere else if they’re going to act that way

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

If he's not sure even after given some time to think about it, I'd dump his ass.

zeekitten26 · Answer

Accept it and move forward. He doesn’t need to stick around.

Aquariusmystery · Answer

I’d still keep the baby. There’s always the door if he doesn’t want to be involved. It’ll be his own loss, really. But I’d keep my child. I have bad fertility and it may be my only chance

Agape93 · Answer

I don’t care if he’s happy with it or not, I wouldn’t be happy and I’ll take care of it.

spotty_zebra · Answer

tell him he should've thought about that before he shagged me ass

1truekhaleesi · Answer

I already plan to get an abortion if I somehow get pregnant.

alohaahyes · Answer

I would tell him that I'm keeping it whether he stays with me or not.

Cap_T · Answer

No comment cuz it will be harsh but good luck in what ever you decide 👍

MoogMoog · Answer

I'd have the baby anyways to hell with him. I wouldn't date someone like that in the first place though.

AngelLily · Answer

I would be pissed and knowing that he wasn't happy about the birth I would probably break up.

FakeName123 · Answer

There is only one line from there. Tell him it's not from you.

Anonymous · Answer

This may sound harsh, but if you don't want a child, don't make one..

Emmalouise03 · Answer

I'd still be happy lol idgaf about what he would think:p

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Just get a vasectomy and use condoms. I'm not raising a child in a bunch of negativity.

Gedaria · Answer

Should have thought about that before he did the deed...

front2back · Answer

Becoming a man first before trying to become a father prevents this scenario.

Anonymous · Answer

If you don't want to be a dad simple solution for you is to have a vasectomy

Anonymous · Answer

Leave the boyfriend if he's already been too much to handle, would not let him touch/ see/ stay with the baby no matter what.

msLuna · Answer

I would still keep the baby. Just be with her. She needs you the most in this times.  Be civil and respectful. Dont let emotions rule. It will get better.

Iron_Man · Answer

Well the boyfriend needs to get over it and be a responsible father and raise that child

SarahsSummer · Answer

Are you pregnant/having a baby currently?

SexyAshh · Answer

Abort it.  I dont want children anyways

luvstoned4him · Answer

Forget him, its still my child

Pink2000 · Answer

I’d never want to keep it in the first place

Anonymous · Answer

I be like bitch you better be happy

kate52 · Answer

dump him

Anonymous · Answer

wait until marriage

Ladies, what would you do if you got pregnant but your boyfriend wasn't happy about it?

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Ladies, what would you do if you got pregnant but your boyfriend wasn't happy about it?

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