Ladies, what would you do if you got pregnant but your boyfriend wasn't happy about it?

[Anonymous]

Ladies, what would you do if you got pregnant but your boyfriend wasn't happy about it?

So let's say you've been together for a year or 2 and your perfectly happy together, you get pregnant and you tell your boyfriend and he isn't happy about it but you want to keep it.

He agrees to be the dad and stays with you but you can see threw the hole 9 mouths he still doesn't seem happy bout becoming a dad and still isn't happy about it when the baby is born.

I ask this BC I can't see myself ever being happy becoming a dad but if I love the girl enough just going a long with it. What would you do if you could tell he wasn't happy about it but you loved him

Updates

+1 y

Sorry if I didn't make this clear, I am not currently in this sort of situation but I can probably see it happening to me knowing my luck.
Also to anyone who just says don't have sex easier said than done

Updates

+1 y

Also for people saying "get a vasectomy" I am from the UK and they don't really give them to young people with no kids.

thanks for everyone who gave there opinion

[Prettygurl12]

*I* don't want kids so I imagine I'd be very upset about it lol and I'm MARRIED and I know my husband would be upset about it.

We don't want kids but now absolutely isn't the best time to have a kid. I'm the only income (I'm a cop so no light duty there lol) and he's in law school full time without a job. It'd be HORRIBLE if I were to get pregnant now. Actual Hell.

We'd handle the situation accordingly.

Now... if I were merely dating a guy and I were of the habit of premarital sex and I wound up pregnant and he was upset about it well... then we'd probably part ways. Assuming I wanted to keep the child I'm sure there'd be legal paperwork drafted to sever his ties to the child.

I have a friend who got pregnant in college and the guy was pissed about it so they broke up and she had papers drawn up where he forfeited his paternal rights to the child. The agreement was that he did not exist in this child's life. He didn't get visitation. Didn't have to pay child support. He was not to contact the child in any way.

Worked great for 5 years and this his dumb ass knocked up another girl and she wanted him to pay child support so he tried to claim this first kid in court (I guess it helps with how much he had to pay the second lady?) and my friend wasn't having it. The guy thought their agreement would still stand. He'd continue not supporting child 1 but get the financial break with regard to child 2.

My friend was like hell no. Dragged his ass to court like, "You want to claim this child? Then you're going to CLAIM this child. Visitation. Child support. The whole everything." Annnd now the guy is basically broke because his plan backfired lol

[weasley8]

If I wanted to keep it, I would make that very clear to him, and I would give him a chance to opt out at the beginning of pregnancy, with the understanding that the forms that free him from the responsibility of child support also take away his right to custody of the child. If he doesn't want to be a part of it's life, he doesn't have to, but if he makes that decision, I don't want to have to get approval from him about how to raise my child, and I don't want him to have a door to change his mind years later and wreak havoc in the kids life.

I wouldn't make him give up custody if he didn't want to. But if he didn't want to keep the kid, we would break up, hopefully on good terms. And even if he did give up custody, he could still ask about the kid any time he wanted, and if he wanted to be a part of the kid's life, I would allow it. I just don't want to need his approval if I want to move, or something like that. And I don't want him to be able to demand to immediately be a big part of the kid's life after years of not seeing the kid. It's his choice.

[AynonOMouse]

Seems reasonable and well thought out. ^^ :)

[weasley8]

@AynonOMouse Thanks. :)

[Agape93]

Love it

[BrittBratt2416]

I would be disappointed, I would know right then and there that I would be single mother and would just have to get myself ready for kind of life a head. I would not want him staying for the sake of staying, I want him to stay cause he wants to be there and raise our kid happily as a family. People staying just to stay results in resent and pent up angry cause they feel trapped when they know they could just leave the relationship. I would ask him to kindly help raise our child cause i think having a father is important, I don't want to have to turn into the kind of woman who has to beg, scream, or threaten a man to raise/support his child. That sounds like a headache. If doesn't want to willingly, then sadly we would have to involve the court system.

[CherryRoseChampange]

I would tell my partner we can't be together because I eventually want at least one kid. We can adopt or whatever. I just want one because I want to experience motherhood and raising a family. Even if it's small.

So really I'd never be in a situation like that because I ask people what they want before we become serious. If they said they don't want a family ever, that doesn't align with me so I wouldn't go forward. You have to find someone who wants what you want too. Don't settle because you'll never be happy.

Find a girl who doesn't want kids basically.

[jgokgotit]

Abortion is not acceptable so he would just have to live with it. If two consenting adults have sex they must be prepared for the consequences. It is wrong to terminate a life just because it is an unwanted inconvenience from a bad choice.

[AynonOMouse]

Ha ha, another immature blocker huh Ghost? lol
Then what would happen if the woman didn't want it but the man did? I'm sure you would still think he has no rights/choice in that situation too huh?

[PinkMichae]

I couldn't imagine not wanting my child. But if for some reason I didn't and he did I would have it and give it to him. I'd still need to help financially tho. I believe both took the risk and needs to be responsible for their actions.

[lumos]

I would never get into a situation like that in the first place. If I'm having a baby, it'll be planned and with someone who absolutely does want it. Any accidental or unwanted pregnancies would be aborted. I also don't see myself even wanting to keep the baby if my partner doesn't want to keep it. Half of the joy of having a child should be having it with someone who loves you and is looking forward to the baby as much as you are. If I can't have that, then I don't want the baby.

[ghostqueen]

Throw his ass away. I couldn't even stand the idea of being with someone while pregnant and them not being into it. Financially pay for your accidental nut and kick rocks.

[AynonOMouse]

Ha ha, figures. It;s all about the money for many greedy women. lol So much for fairness or men's rights or choice.

[ghostqueen]

It takes two people to make a child, you moron. He can choose to be a deadbeat like the majority of "fathers" out there but there's nothing fair about completely leaving a woman to raise a kid you had part in making and not helping out whatsoever. You don't want fairness, you want god status at that point.

[R_Cakes91]

Yeah, go fuck yourself. He only women need money from you dumb asses is to provide a stable home for the child. Do you want your child growing up without the things they need? Far too many children grow up like that and it’s not fair. How many women do you actually think use child support for themselves? We are not wired to be selfish when a child is involved. Some women do that, yes but it’s rare.

[Moochii]

Accidental nut 😂😂😂

[ElissaDido]

I'm not having a child before i get married mostly because I don't want to have sex before marriage.
However if I were to hypothetically get pregnant while dating, the solution would depend on many factors.
1- we get married quickly and I keep the baby
2- if he doesn't want to get married and the baby is still not 3 months old I will get an abortion.

[Agape93]

Very reasonable

[MzAsh]

The problem is, your unhappiness would manifest into being a disfunctional father and husband. You’d resent her for having a baby and she’d resent you for not being happy and enthusiastic about it. Divorce begging to happen.

[Apple1996]

He could leave and pay me for 18 years

[AynonOMouse]

Yep, all about the money. Good to continually see greed and selfishness from women. Really shows the true morals.

[Apple1996]

@AynonOMouse if he ain't gonna be there he at least needs to pay

[sejla]

All I can say is double protection.

[lucidhope]

If you’re gonna do the thing that makes babies, you can’t be like the pikachu surprised face meme. No method id 100% safe. Any body should step up and take responsibility for their actions, however, a lot of people don’t. Even if you weren’t happy about it you’d have to realize you need to do what’s best for the baby, especially because it’s not their fault. Who knows, the moment you laid eyes on the baby your opinion might instantly change. If I got pregnant and my partner wasn’t happy, i’d still expect him to step up. If he chose to act like a little bitch I’d just tell him to leave. I’d have all the help and support I needed with other people, and would eventually find someone who didn’t act younger than the baby I was gonna have/had.

[Agirlcalledkill]

I don’t know how to answer because I don’t want kids so I would never ever want to keep it myself. But on the reversed situation if my boyfriend really really wanted to be a dad and have a kid, I may agree someday just because I love him a lot ( 2 years are not enough for me to decide to make a family with someone, at least 10 😂) . My boyfriend knows I don’t want to become a mother and as he knows that most of the work would have to be done by me, even though he wants kids he never pressures me to get pregnant and respects my decision

[peculiaremowhale]

boyfriend gets dumped plain and simple. if he can't be ready in 9 months he won't be emotionally supportive when you need him most. you'll be taking care of that baby, he will think you will take care of him too. but who will take care of you? who will help with that child? love yourself, love your child, and don't hang on to dead weight that won't emotionally lift you up on a pedestal. When your a mother, you should be treated like a goddess. you carried his and your child, you grew and nourished life. who does he think he is moping about such a beautiful miracle?

[fauchelevent]

I mean, the example you gave shows that we've already had the baby and at that point, there isn't much that we can do. Either he has to buck up and be a father or he can leave, I'm not going to put the baby up for adoption but if he's not happy to be a dad to our child then I'm not going to stay with him either.

If he tells me early in the relationship that he isn't happy, then I would consider why. If the reason is that he just doesn't want to be a father, then I'd end the relationship, if it's just not the right time then I'd probably agree to an abortion as long as we did have a child at some point.

[jacerach]

I would never pressure a guy into having a child if that's something he doesn't want. Same as him forcing me to not have children because of what he wants. If you both do not have the same future goals then its time to call it quits.

[Anonymous]

Abort it. I don't want a baby, and don't want to go through 9 months of suffering. It's a win for us both.

[Anonymous]

I’d say that might influence the woman to have an abortion or adopt the child out which is extremely hard.

I had an unexpected pregnancy a few years ago, the guy I was dating at the time didn’t want it. I also didn’t want to do it alone so I had an abortion. Now that I think back on it, I would have told him to go fuck himself. No offense.

[PinkMichae]

It would be awful to go through a pregnancy knowing my man is unhappy. But I would deal with it and so will he. We both had sex knowing what the risk were so it's our responsibility to grow up and be the best parents we can be to our innocent child that didn't ask to be here. If down the line things get to unhappy then he can leave and I will still make sure my child grows up in a happy home.

[singlemomof3]

A child being brought into a situation where one parent don’t want it will only be damaging to the child and lead to resentment in the relationship later on u need to make the choice to 1. Abort the child (personally not my choice of something to do in a situation like this )
2. Leave and raise it yourself
3. wait it out and see if he comes around when the child is born if he don’t look into option 2 whatever u decided to do make sure it’s a decision u can live the rest of live with

[MissKittyz]

That's why I always make sure I date a guy who love kids and want to be a father someday because being unhappy when your girlfriend is pregnant is a huge red flag. I'd probably leave him though and keep the baby. I don't want someone who doesn't want to be a father to be in my life.

[Anonymous]

If he wanted, he could leave, but I would expect child support (it takes two to tango, he knew the risks before hand.) and I wouldn't get an abortion.

I wouldn't get in this situation in the first place though, I would only consider having a kid with somebody who wanted one and who was committed to both me and said child.

[BrookieCookie0422]

Preventative medicine is the best medicine. Do what you can to prevent getting put in that situation. Having children is no joke.

I couldn’t bring myself to abort a child and I would except the guy I’m with to be supportive and willing to take responsibility if I got pregnant.

[leahzrc]

I would keep the baby and if he doesn't, he doesn't have to be involved with me or the baby, i don't like or want babies, im pro-choice, but if I was going to have a baby, I would want the baby to be someone great and I want to be someone great for someone else. I would care for the baby and love them because I want to be the parent I never had.

[Anonymous]

I would have the baby, it's not just something like a chocolate that you can discard if you don't want, it's a life growing inside of her. A new person the guy and the girl. If you didn't want to be a dad, then you should've known how to not have a kid. There are many anticonceptives to prevent pregnancy.