When you really love someone, would you settle to stay just friends?

[Anonymous]

My question is simple & open for this discussion of course.

You fall in love with a friend of yours, you let them know how you really feel in the last couple of months, but they never thought of you being more than just a friend, & they definitely don't feel the same way too, specially when you know you almost have 0% chance of being more than friends. Even if that feeling has been for almost a year now. And it's almost impossible thinking about that person as just friends anymore no matter how hard you try to convince yourself there isn't anything else.

You love & care so much about that special person it seems impossible to let go. What would you do in this case?

Please consider that staying friends with someone you love might have several consequences on your futur life when being in love with someone that hard.

1- it will eat you alive frome the inside knowing you have no chance of becoming more than just friends.

2- you'll be hurting yourself everyday specially when the day comes & you find them with someone else so it might kill you emotionally.

3- you will be hurting only yourself thinking about that person everyday & keeping them all the time in you mind & heart when that person barely showing signs that they care about you not even 10% of what you're showing to them.

4- if you stayed friends it will be so hard for you to find someone else & if you did, you might ruin that relationship because of your love to your friend.

5- this friendship causes more harm than good

1- Stay friends as normal (even though it's almost impossible thinking about that person as just friends)

2- Stay friends & remove them from social media (so you limit yourself being hurt everytime they post new pictures or something new)

3- Tell that person you can't be friends anymore (because it will ruin your future relationship staying friends with someone you have feelings for & that feeling & friendship is causing more harm than good)

4- The same as the 3rd option plus delete their contact number from your phone

[D_Bone_Steak]

Alright if you develop such 'love' for a female and you can't emotionally just friend zone that chick... I'm going to bet money that you didn't try to fuck when you first wanted to fuck, but instead acted like you just wanted to be friends.

These types of dudes are being chicken shits with their fear of rejection. Hit on her, if she rejects you, fucking friend zone that chick to platonic town or leave her alone (find some willing vadge somewhere else)... but don't become her orbitor male that is lusting after her in secret until he develops feelings and starts calling every fucking guy that is dicking her down and not putting up with her stupid bullshit a asshole.

Because he is not the asshole, that beta orbiter is the real asshole. He's fake... pretends to just be a friend... but he's just hoping to fuck the entire time. ... and for you ladies that keep these guys around you, chick, that's like hanging out with a rapist. Isn't there a statistic that usually a rape happens by someone you know? I'm just saying.

[SuperManiac]

I ceased to find myself in such scenarios after teenage years since I ceased to crush like that and develop such strong feelings towards a friend that I wasn't even dating. It helped me to realize at some point that a girl who is a great friend and attractive doesn't always make the most compatible girlfriend (people tend to act a bit differently towards their lovers than friends).

But if I was in your shoes for whatever reason, I think you have to move on and maybe ultimately start dating another girl. You might be able to resume being very friendly after you get over her and maybe get a girlfriend but I wouldn't hang out much, or pay attention to what she's doing until you do that first (for both of your sakes).

[SuperManiac]

Maybe one thing that might help to get over this intense crush thing and help avoid that in the future after you move on is to realize that you kind of fell for the fantasy of her, not necessarily the real one. It's not often the case that you know the real one so well from just being friends. You see a very different side to people often when you start dating them, and becoming serious, and living with them, and so on, of a kind you might never see even being the closest friends for years. Unless you fall for someone over the course of getting to know that side of them, as a lover and not just a close friend, it's like what you fell in love with isn't necessarily so real.

[Asker]

Trust me i already started a relationship with another girl before the end of last year as soon as i noticed my feelings... It just lasted a couple of months... But i wasn't able not to think about my feelings towards my friend even though i did tell her at the time & i didn't even see her for a whole 6 months & barely spoke a few times but still she was always on my mind.

I already know what i will but i have been hesitant the last few months so i just wanted to know what others might do in these kind of situations

[SuperManiac]

And you can start with the most basic observation that probably your fantasies involved a dream where she liked you back the same way you do, and that's already divorced from the actual reality. So it's like a fantasy, right? And you might care for her a lot and so forth but that burning desire isn't necessarily driven by the most reliable information of what she is like as a lover. That's kind of a harsh truth but it's something helped me to realize in the long run to avoid finding myself in such scenarios, getting so worked up over a girl I hadn't even dated.

[SuperManiac]

>> I already know what i will but i have been hesitant the last few months so i just wanted to know what others might do in these kind of situations

You gotta move on as I see it. I mean I'd just favor the honest and open approach of telling her that you want some time to move on and maybe you all can be friends again later if you still like the idea.

[Asker]

I totally understand everything you said & i know what should be done... That was my answer already what i'm thinking of doing soon when i'll meet her again... So it's just a matter of time now

[Anonymous]

Just stay friends, limit going out and personal interaction. Move on, date someone else.

[MrNameless]

Nope, its an absolute waste of time and energy to stick around and hope your feellings will go away, or even worse to expect them to come around and find interest and date you 3 years later.

The best way to move on is to maintain your distance and start talking and dating other girls. And just make yourself busy and happy improving on your own life. If this doesn't help then I would just let go of her completely gradually. If she already knows you like her, no need to tell her that you can't be friends with her anymore.

[madgoat]

Assuming this is more than a temporary crush, you need to move on for all the reasons you outline in your text.

[Marinepilot]

Settling for just friends is sucking hind tit in my opinion.

[ACupOfFrosting]

If I love them then of course I'd wanna be friends

[Cuppo_Mode]

This is pretty gai

[Asker]

Not at all actually

[Cuppo_Mode]

Hey that's your opinion @RayKelzi and I shall let you have it without complaints

[MrNameless]

you're 13 years old. You know nothing about love. lol But this will happen to you

[Cuppo_Mode]

I know how to do the lova dove dove thingy in the bed if you catch my drifty drift drift amigo 🤠