Hello,
I am practicing Christian woman who wishes to marry a Christian man from my community.
I have joined a company where there were this coworker who was not Christian and married (this I found it out later on). We got on very well. Lot of laugh, complicity, reciprocal attraction. As nothing could ever happen anyway I convinced myself it was just a friendship but I was lying to myself : I had feelings for that guy and I started to feel guilty (even though physically, absolutely nothing happened). I told him 'this friendship has a flirty side' but he denied it, saying we were JUST friends (I know it did happen to him before with another pretty "best friend" coworker).
I, got a better opportunity, left that company and ghosted him. I am not gonna lie, I was missing him. One day, I heard he lost his mum and he was in a divorce process. It did something to me, I contacted him and we met.
Time has passed but complicity was still there. He told me what was going on in his life and we also took the opportunity to explain ourselves about what happen before.
His life : he seemed to be lost, to feel abandoned, broken. He told me he was talking to some women to see where it goes (women that are acceptable for his family - which I am not), he does not want to stay alone.
Us : he told me that I hurt him, he missed me and he felt I was playing him. He opened up as he never did and shown some vulnerabilities (I was surprised).
I confessed my feelings to him (if it was not religion...). I asked him what does he feel for me, he said : 'It is useless to answer that question. Now you have planted some seeds. By saying things you make them real.' He added 'It will be hurtful and as a man, I know how to comparmentalize which I doubt for you. I don't how it could impact you (severe sadness) and your next relationship'.
He suggested to stay friends. I went 'How can you see me just as a friend?' He said he preferred to have a bit of me rather than nothing.
What are your thoughts?
