Shy men: Explain your behavior when you like someone

[Anonymous]

Suppose you like a girl whom you have had 2 classes with. Do you...

- Approach her?

- Constantly stare at her?

- Smile?

- Keep your feelings to yourself?

- Always hope that the girl would talk to you?

- Avoid her?

- Follow her around?

- Search for her on Facebook?

- Think about her all the time?

- Deny your feelings and act like you don't like her?

I'm asking because even though guys are shy, it doesn't mean they never take the chance and approach their crush. What gets you to take that chance rather than keeping your feelings a secret? Do you still not approach even though she's smiled at you back?

[Poseidon17]

I'm a shy guy, in college, and I can understand how it is hard to read a shy guy. I can talk to a girl I find attractive, but I'll usually come off as just "friendly" or neutral. I simply won't be obvious and flirt with her, I just am not good at it. Instead I usually will just make chit-chat, which usually bores her, lol.

For example, when I was a junior, I had a crush on my RA. She was same age as me, fairly outgoing, and popular. She wasn't overly hot but she was very very cute. Needless to say I had a crush on her, nothing obsessive I just was interested in her. One day while we were both waiting for the campus shuttle I said hi, asked her what was up with her. I asked her about what her major was, and what her plans were for after college (she was a senior). Well she didn't seem very interested in talking with me because she never even really made eye contact when she was talking to me. Whether or not she could tell I was trying to get to know he or liked her I didn't know. But that was my weak attempt at at least talking to her. I'm pretty shy in general, but I wish I wasn't, lol. I would say I'm not too shy to talk to attractive women or crushes, I just can't really flirt.

So my signs are that I try and ask interesting questions about her and get to know her. So it might come off as just friendly conversation. It may sound crass, but I don't often try to get to know girls I'm not interested in. So if I seem to be taking time to learn more about a girl, I'm usually interested in her. I'll also try and

Different shy guys can exhibit different behavior, but I think the similarity they share is that they usually won't ever flirt with a girl they like (not the obvious type of flirting), they are too introverted or subtle.

Just try and remember shy guys aren't missing anything, they just have trouble initiating things. there's a good chance that once they enter a dating relationship they are like any other guy.

[LesyMonet]

Omg can you follow n message me you sound like the shy I'm into.. I'm just wondering how I should approach a certain situation so please help me!!!

[Anonymous]

I look at her and look away if she catches me. I tend to keep my feelings to myself. I don't try to avoid her but I don't approach her either. I don't follow her around because that just seems too stalkerish to me. I don't even have a Facebook so I don't do that either. I think about her quite a bit. I do not deny my feelings and act like I don't like her but I also try not act like I like her because she might not like me. Also, it takes me a long time to work up the guts to talk to a girl, so if she is sitting by me in class then I might start talking to her about halfway through the semester. Yeah, I'm terrible with girls.

[Fitzcarraldo]

It's tough to predict how a shy guy will act. But I'd vote for "constantly stare at her", "always hope that the girl would talk to you"

I think it's an oversimplification to say he's "denying his feelings" if a shy guy doesn't talk to you.

If you like a shy guy, you'll probably have to take more initiative than you're used to doing. Be persistent, but very, very gentle. He'll need lots of patience and reassurance.

[Asker]

So you're saying that even guys in college, will not take the chance to even talk to his crush? That's pretty depressing. I think a lot of girls can relate to me when I say that it is so hard to try and talk to a shy guy. We don't know what's going on in his head. Unfortunately for me, shy guys are who I'm attracted to.

[Fitzcarraldo]

People don't suddenly become confident and outgoing when they attend college.

You don't know what kind of struggles or problems this guy might have dealt with in his life that led to him being shy. So be compassionate.

There's no reason you have to understand what's going on inside his head. All you have to do is be gentle, kind and persistent. If he likes you, he'll gradually come out of his shell if you create a comfortable environment, with consistence and reassurance.

[SeraphenaAngel]

Shyness is a trait and does not go by age. Just because you are older does not mean you are no longer shy.