I have a boyfriend, but a friend confessed and now I'm having conflicted emotions?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and recently a friend confessed to me out of the blue. I told my boyfriend and he said that the guy was trying a "hail mary". I'm happy with my boyfriend, but now I'm having really confusing emotions and it' bothering me so much. I feel like I'm cheating on my boyfriend just by having these feelings/thoughts. The other guy has apologized for confessing, but I don't want him to feel sorry. It was nice when he confessed. I feel horrible for even thinking about the other guy D:

My boyfriend has asked me to cut all ties with the other guy, but I don't want too (am I a horrible person for not listening) The other guy has messaged me, apologizing and saying he wants to be friends.

Questions:

1. Am I a bad gf?

2. What should I do about the guy?

3. What do I do ><

[Elcristoph]

Hello,

ok I've already read one of th answers to this question and I think its completely wrong.. your boyfreind DOES NOT HAVE JELOUSY ISSUES, a freind profession feelings to you in itself isn't a problem but you said yourself YOU HAVE CONFLICTING FEELINGS NOW.. ie YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR THE FREIND.. so if your looking for reasons to make your boyfreind the bad guy in this the fact remains there is another man in the picture now..

So how to deal with this, well unless your able to tell the freind..

"I know you have feelings for me but I'm in love with my boyfreind, I'm a women who has integrity so I'm not going to have an emotional affair with you"

Imagine if your boyfreind said there may be another women in the picture.. what you you do and what would you expect.. if he said he wasn't going to tell this other woman that your the women he's with and she isnt, how would you react... Id imagine you would think he was a MASSIVE JERK, and leave him on principle alone..

Am I wrong?

Good Luck

Chris

[Asker]

I'm not trying to make my boyfriend the bad guy, but I feel guilty for even t hinking about having an "emotional affair." I want to be friends with the other guy, but I think I only want to be friends so he can be my back-up? I'll never do it, but just the thought of it makes me feel...oddly comfortable.

[adamretex81]

go out with the friend. because your boyfriend is jealous now and telling you to cut off ties. that's messed up. how dare he tell you which friends to hang out with. it was a test and boyfriend failed. a relationship like this will only lead to problems in future. where as the friend seems to genuinely care about you. can you live without him? I'm assuming you can live without your boyfriend. what does your heart say to do? follow your heart..

[Asker]

i mean h ow would you feel if you girlfriend just dumped you to go out with another guy. wouldn't you feel bad? plus what if what I'm feeling is just a passing feeling

[Elcristoph]

I disagree completely with your answer, the fact is the freind professed feelings and now she has conflicting feelings, being jelous is when you are controling with no justification, the boyfriend has justification and is well within his rights to ask this of her, either she needs to cut the freind out OR send the freind a CLEAR message that her and him will NEVER be together.. if she cannot do this then the Boyfriend SHOULD LEAVE HER. Why maintain a relationship when she has feelings for another?

[Anonymous]

okay, take a step back and think about the feelings or emotions that your guy friends confession made you feel. (talking to him would probably also be a good idea - you can't run from this) then you have to put it into perspective: how long have you known him? are his feelings true? have you ever thought about him in a romantic way before he confessed?

no, you are not a bad girlfriend. it's not like you're married. girls steal guys from each other all the time.

and I'll leave you with this piece of advice that someone once told me: if you really loved the first guy, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

[Sm8989]

I would love to hear what happened because i feel i am in kind of the same situation although i dont want to feel hope 😔?