The man has to pay for the first meeting and first actual date. I’m a cheap date, tho, like $10-$20.
Once an orthodontist took me to a casino. I had never gambled in my life, but I had heard there were nickel slots. I soon found out nickel slots actually cost about $.40-$.50, but you can multiply your bets.
My pleasant date put in a bill and I began to gamble gingerly so as not to lose too much money too fast. He also put in a bill and played alongside me.
After 45 minutes, I noted the value on my card said $45. My eyes got big and I exclaimed ,”how did I get $45?” He replied “because I put in $100.”
Oh em gee! I thought he had put in a dollar bill! ONE DOLLAR. NOT A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL!
My jaw dropped to the floor. I thought at first I had won $44 but I had actually lost $65 of his money. I was speechless. I was so sorry. I was going to stop right then, but he smiled, said it was only money and that I should keep playing.
After a few more reassurances, I began to play the games again. By the end of the night I had only lost him $20 and we got free dinners because he had VIP status at the casino.
I am curious, why do you believe the man should pay for the first meeting and first actual date? I am interested in your thought process and justification for that mindset.
I have a different mindset that I don’t have to justify. It’s personal. I don’t have to be politically correct or mainstream in my personal preferences. I don’t have to justify what I find attractive in a man.
What I want in a relationship with a man is not what the majority of women want but it’s not uncommon.
I like the differences between a man and a woman. I don’t like contemporary society’s agenda to bash men and expect them to apologize for being men.
Just let everyone be themselves. If that means you don’t want to take the lead in a relationship or don’t want to pay for the first date, that’s fine. Find a good match for you.
I don’t want to pay at first and feel like I’m buying his affection because I’m not worth his money. He’s got to pay first because I’m worth it. I’ll gladly go halvsies later. IF by chance, I can’t stand him and have no intention of seeing him again, I’ll pay my own way and get out of there clean.
What? That is not how you treat somebody like a king or queen. If you go for half on things it's because you want to. It doesn't mean anything unless you want to. How many couples end because they did 50/50? Plenty. How many people stay together with no splitting? Plenty. I don't need anybody to try to tell me how to date a person. That is a discussion between me and that person. However if that person asked me, yes I would expect that person to pay. Because if I have no money, how a what, I'm declining. I don't want to owe anybody anything. If you have no money that's okay. They're are plenty of ways to hangout and spend time together without money. It's pure selfishness. If I pay it's because I want to. That's WHAT I do for my friends. And why I agree to only date friends. Character is important.
I only believe in that when he is already my man, yes. I've paid for dates with my partner and activities so many times. Just like he has paid for things as well. We help each other to pay bills and just share everything. Even though he is the type who wants to pay for literally everything. But as a loving couple, I don't find that fair so I keep offering to pay.
But now, if a guy asked me out on a first date, sorry but I'm not paying lol if he doesn't have enough money or doesn't want to pay, then take me to a park. That's free and we can actually get to know each other better there. Or no dates. Simple as that.
Then we just won't go on a date. I literally said that at the end of my answer. I'm not telling guys to ask me out on a date. It was their choice, not mine. I just prefer the traditional way and that's what I'm used to it. Every guy who asked me out always paid. Or took me somewhere that is affordable or to a park.
But you are agreeing to them. If you don't want to pay to feed yourself you should state that before going out with a guy.
I hate this, "I'm traditional" argument. Women often ownly say that because they want free shit from a man. Once they get married I can guaranty that most won't stay in the kitchen all day and look after the kids. If women aren't going to be traditional they shouldn't expect the man to be either. Women seem to be such hypocrites these days.
My God. I knew there would be some guy who would get triggered over this. Why do you care about my opinion so much. It isn't like I'm going to date you or anything. Everyone is different and have different opinions. I gave mine. You don't have to agree with it but getting triggered over it when it doesn't even apply to you doesn't make any sense. If a random person is asking me out on a date, I'd prefer for him to pay. That's it, that's all.
I'm actually engaged and all the dates I've been to, every guy paid without me telling them to. They just do it. So, it seems like many guys don't mind paying. If you mind paying for the girl you asked out on a date, then just don't date someone like me. Simple.
@MzAsh yes, I do exactly the same thing with my fiancé. Just like if I asked a guy out on a date, I'd pay for the date too. Why would I expect him to pay when I'm the one who asked him out? That's just how I think it works lol
I'm not triggered. If you say you are traditional you have to be that way in all senses of the word. You can't just pick and choose what you want. Why don't you just say you are cheap and want to be doubted on by a guy.
Exactly. My guy probably paid for the first 10 dates or maybe even more.., and he didn’t fuss about it. But that was also forever ago before I came into a lot of my views. Now I would have chipped in earlier.
@nathanp97 "traditional" doesn't mean staying in the kitchen all day. The "virtuous woman" commended in Prov 31 ran her own business, yet the Bible still commands men to provide for the needs of their wives
Mistixs, yet if you ask 99% of women who work they will complain about having to do more house work than the guy. Also who cares what the bible says? It is just an old book. and you do realize lots of women can't cook and clean these days. If a women wants to be traditional and wants the man to pay then I'm fine with it, but if she wants the man to be traditional and not her, than I have a problem with it. Also that passage never mentions dates, so that would mean guys shouldn't have to pay tell marriage 😜
But why do you have a problem with it if it doesn't concern you at all? It isn't like every woman thinks like me. You can easily tell from this forum that every woman is different. Some want the man to pay, some don't. That's just how life works. Everyone is different. All the guys I've been with paid without me asking and that was their choice, not mine. If you don't like that, that's your choice too. Do what you want.
@nathanp97 my point about the Bible is that it proves that it is indeed possible to be "traditional" while not being stuck in the kitchen all day.
As for women being frustrated about doing more housework than men despite having jobs - that's because their labor far exceeds that of the man, which traditionally wasn't the case. In Biblical times, men spent 72 hours a week working their ass off out in the fields, by the sweat of their brow, in the blazing heat or freezing cold, to provide for their families. Nowadays most men work 40 hours a week & then go home and don't do much housework. Meanwhile the woman works 40 hours a week & goes home and does all the housework. There's an excess of female labor that traditionally wasn't there. (It is not unbiblical for men to contribute to housework, just like it's not unbiblical for women to have a job.)
In my experience this is one of those topics (of which there are many) where most women say one thing on the internet but do the opposite in real life.
And here is the problem. Most women support the concept that whoever asks the other person out should pay for the date. That of course is very convenient for women since they rarely actually do the asking. Women love being pursued and tend to take full advantage of the privileges they enjoy in all that comes with it, and they don't want that to change.
It is also a fact that most women judge a man harshly if he doesn't pay for a date. I have had countless women tell me that's a sign he doesn't value her or her company and she won't go on a second date with him. They seem oblivious to the fact that what that means is he is paying for her company, which essentially makes her a paid escort, or worse.
The fact is women tend to support the idea of getting rid of gender roles, except the ones that benefit them, and this is a great example of that.
@Insomnia72 Bullshit. Men put in just as much effort but in different ways. You are part of the problem here. Chivalry is just sexism and female entitlement.
(grammar correction: "too look" = "to look") Okay, I had to fix that up. Looks sloppy.
To answer your statement, women put more effort into their bodies then men because of the pressure to be thin and shaven in places men proudly grow hair. Men can keep their hair legs and chest, and have a slight belly, and they're just seen as macho labor workers. Women aren't as obsessed with appearances as are men. Then there is make up, hair products and clothes. Guys usually just need to shower, brush their teeth and put on clean dating clothes.
So in the end, I fully understand why a woman would expect more from men when out dating. I always opened doors for women. I never got a complaint from it. It only improved my stance with her. So why not make the ladies feel good anyway you can?
So I don't see this as a problem. It's just dating. When out on the work field, I can see how equality is important when you're both getting paid the same for the same job. But dating? It's just personal choices like what color shirt you want to put on today. You don't have to spend money on her if you don't want to, just ask if she'd like to go for a walk in the park. Make sure there is lots of people around so she feels comfortable. If she's not okay with that, try another woman. It's how it goes for us guys, we get turned down more than accepted. It's just nature. Don't feel bad about it, just keep trying but don't aim so high, look for girls at your level of appearance. If you're a 5, go for 5s.
Yes, women generally put more effort into looking good. And men generally put WAY more effort into connecting with women to set up the date in the first place, including things like buying women drinks and putting their egos on the line and risking rejection. Both men and women have to put in effort and take risks, and it all evens out.
I suspect your mindset is just your age talking. Older guys seem to have a lot f trouble letting go of that traditional mindset. But women work and earn their own money today and there is NO reason (beyond sexism) that they shouldn't pay their share today. I have no doubt that will be the well accepted norm in ten years r so, but sadly a lot of people, both men and women, still have very outdated and sexist attitudes, and that just takes time to change. Get with the times, man.
@Insomnia72 Well that's one thing you have in common with the younger generation. But we part ways when it comes to supporting benevolent sexism and enabling female entitlement. I understand that old attitudes die hard, but this one is just common sense.
@Opinion Owner I see nothing wrong with giving women some entitlement whether it's dating or just everyday life. Women are more vulnerable to crazy guys. They pick on women because they know they won't take an ass beating as if picking on you or me. I'm not saying women are the weaker sex, I'm just saying that it's okay to remember that bad men see them that way, therefore target them more often.
@Insomnia72 I don't see how that has anything to do with who should pay for a date. It seems you are grasping more ideas to justify your old school bias. Those days are gone, or at least they should be. They will be eventually, once the old guard age out of the dating game and women are forced to let go of their sexist entitlement.
A date should be a fun evening (or whatever) for both participants. Both should enjoy themselves equally and both should help cover the costs. It really is that simple.
@Opinion Owner I understand your perspective fully. But as an older guy, I have to disagree. I think it's okay to spoil women on dates and everyday life. Call me an old fool, perhaps I am, but I'm okay with doing that. I like spoiling beautiful women. When it comes to wonderful women, I just yield and crumble. I'm an idiot. I'll give you that. You win, hahaha. I lose my rational around beautiful women. It could be genetic...
@Insomnia72 LOL, I do understand where you are coming from. I think it is somewhat of male instinct, part of our compulsion to protect women and treat them as special. But it essentially amounts to benevolent sexism and, perhaps more importantly, it feeds the growing problem today of female entitlement. As a whole women have asked to be treated as equals, and we need to grant them that, even when they don't like it. We will all be better off for it in the end.
That's life for me... so I agree? My the one who pays the most for things is more like 70/30 but I dont care. if you live together then yea it should be and if not then add all the money together take out all bills then equally divide 80% then put 20% in a savings (if your going to be together forever that is) the 20% is for a rainy day vehicle repair, house damage, medical bills etc. relationships are not about using the other but growing together to help each reach happiness so yes 50/50 for serious relationships
I like that system, yes. There are some exceptions though as @loveslongnails pointed out. I'd also add" *does one person CHOOSE to make significantly less money than the other?
I've yet to meet a couple where one person chose to make less money, for the ideal job for example, where the partner wasn't OK with it. But at that point, you've probably been together a long time and intend to stay that way, so the whole "money" dynamic changes. I believe MzAsh's example is more geared to a couple in the "early dating" stages.
It depends on the couple, their dynamic, wishes and finances. If we make the same amount of money and cook for each other an equal amount of times, ok let's go 50/50. If he invited me somewhere I think it's common courtesy for him to pay. Even though I prefer men who want to pay for their woman, my boyfriend always does and rarely allows me to pay, especially taking into account that he is a working man and I am a student. Every situation is different and not everyone has fo abide the same rules, just find a person whose values align with yours.
Completely. Always been a believer in 50/50 unfortunately the majority of guys I dated weren't. It was always expected I'd just pay for everything. Stuff like this would always happen "Hey, wanna go out to this expensive restaurant with my friends on a double date?" "Sure, that'd be nice I'd love to meet them." Get through the whole meal the bill comes and he looks at me so obviously I pay then his friends are short on cash too so I'd give them what they needed to make up the rest of the bill. I've given guys money so they can afford a better lifestyle than me, clothes, gifts, food money etc without anything in return. So yeah 50/50 would be amazing 😂
However, because of the way society is set up, I’m not gonna lie, I’d see it as a red flag if he didn’t pay for the first date. I wish this wasn’t true, and it has nothing to do with money. It simply has to do with the fact that because that is expected in society, if he didn’t, I’d start to question his character.
That being said though, I do hope society evolves so it’s just 50/50 and I do want to actively try and not question it more if he just pays for himself. It’s hard though.
I can't offer an opinion because I don't know any of the particulars, like : * where are you "at" in the relationship? * how long have you been going out? * are you living together? * does one person make SIGNIFICANTLY more money than the other?
I think each couple should establish their own rules for paying. If they want to go 50/50 all the time, that’s fine. If they’re traditional and the man wants to pay for everything, that’s also fine. If they’re really unorthodox and the woman wants to pay for everything, that’s fine too. Every couple shouldn’t have to go by the same policy.
@UncleBumbleF_K said it... This isn’t something I even worry about. If the guy has any kind of issue about this topic - regardless of the 50/50 or who pays - then I don’t want him anyway.
I see it as whoever asks for the date is responsible for paying for it.
I think he ment the ones who normally start with asking the person out.. I sure your boyfriend found you and asked you out unless I'm wrong but if the other way around then you would pay?
@40Ninjas Ok I know I'm gonna be bashed for this but why the hell should I pay if he asked me somewhere, I am already giving him a chance and spending my time on getting ready for a date (which is a lot) and being there even though I could be at home, I'm not giving him the time of day if he is not even man enough to offer to pay. And I think the rule of whoever asks should pay should always apply and not only on dates, it goes to friends, collegues, family, everyone unless specified differently beforehand.
@KingSyer Yes, my boyfriend asked me first in the very beginning, if that's what you mean. However, I have done the same with guys (yes, at the beginning as well as later on). There's nothing wrong with either gender asking somebody out. The thing about paying... My boyfriend is actually a man - a gentleman - who actually possesses what most like to call "testicles," a. k. a. balls. When I ask him out, my automatic instinct is to pay, like I said, but he never lets me. He has the attitude of "I'm the man; I'll handle this." He never has let me pay for anything. He won't even let me buy my own clothes and shoes if he goes shopping with me lol (That's why I no longer take him shopping.) So even though I have no problem asking a man to go out with me up-front or paying for the date, my boyfriend is one of those gentlemen who are very rare in modern times.
The only place women agree with this is on the internet, never real life. Pretty sure the day I meet a woman who actually follows through with this is going to be the day I die (and it probably won't happen then). Most will just say they want to go 50/50 but when it comes time for them to actually do it they will dump the man who offers to do so (seen it happen several times). Wish women would just be honest about what they want, makes life easier for every one.
I don't "feel that way", I'm stating a well documented fact. But if you wish to be delusional go for it, its not like I have ever been able to stop you before.
I find it fascinating you think that this is a fact...
Many women, absolutely, are not willing to actually follow through with doing this, so I see you there.
But there are women out there who actually do this. My boyfriend and I go out all the time and he paid for dinner one night, so the next time we went out, I paid for dinner. I paid for our movie tickets and he paid for drinks.
We want to go on a trip together and I told him if he pays for gas, I’ll pay for the AirBnb.
It does exist (: it just might be difficult to find if you aren’t looking in the right places!
He’s probably referring to the data that suggests that men in general are still paying for the majority of their dates with women, both in early and later stages.
The article suggests that both men and women who claims to want equality are still failing to pick up slack - women financially and men when it comes to household chores.
Women like you and I are a rare breed when it comes to this kind of thing which is why most regular Joes aren’t going to be able to believe we actually exist, which is understandable.
@Yuffie999@MzAsh that and the fact that I have on this site witnessed multiple times women lamenting how their date clearly isn't interested in them because they offered to split the bill and he had the "audacity" to accept the offer. Also its true that men don't do as much house work but that's also because they do more paid work. In fact technically men do slightly more work then women do: www.usatoday.com/.../ https://www.nber.org/papers/w13000
However this could easily be solved if women properly communicated their boundaries/standards with their husbands. Instead they are remaining silent and doing all the chores anyway, which is foolish.
@Yuffie999 So as I stated its a fact that men will always pay more then women, yes some times they pitch in but its not equivalent. Now I personally have no issue with that per say, however my problem comes from women consistently claiming to be one way while secretly being the other. That is to say, if you are traditional and want a traditional relationship great, data suggests this makes people much happier so I have no issue with that. If you think that being traditional is not for you, also great, its your life no one has the right to tell you how to live it, I may personally not make that choice for myself but I don't particularly care if you do. The problem is women don't want to be traditional BUT they absolutely want men to be traditional. They have double standards and they lie about what they actually want (in general, obviously their are acceptions, but this is not the majority of women). They claim they want equality but then make every excuse imaginable to avoid the inevitable outcome of that claim, equality. So they say the one who does the asking out should pay knowing full well that this will push the responsibility squarely on the man as regardless of claims men are still very much expected to do the approaching. Or as I previously mentioned asking to split the bill with no real intention of doing so and if he does they consider him cheap or uninterested. Its an attempt to pretend to believe in equality without ever actually having to provide it. In short, my issue is with the dishonesty (which jus screws over men and women) and the hypocrisy. Yes not all women, but again, it is the majority.
Yes they do in general but as stated in the last link I posted, even when men *aren’t* working more or even working at all, they still aren’t picking up even half of the housework that women are doing.
and that is insanely rare. Also I'll just turn that around on you and point out that even when women are doing the house work men are working more then women do and this is substantially more common both with women who don't work (who by extension do astronomically less then their husbands do) and when they do work (where they work only slightly less then their husbands but still less.) and both are significantly more common (i. e. the overwhelming majority) then the situations you have listed. Now what? Yeah like I said men work more then women please stop trying to brow beat men into taking even more of the burden onto themselves then they already have, its not fair and its really sexist and abusive to men.
In general, both men and women need to do more: men with housework and women in bringing home the bacon. I’ve provided research that supports that things are still pretty uneven but they are improving. Thankfully that is starting to show since men are doing more housework than they used to decades ago and women are making more money. If women continue to become ambitious and they continue to be firm in their evaluation of the men they choose, this will continue to improve. I’m optimistic about the future.
Except you didn't, I pointed to two separate studies showing that men do more then women. Personally I don't care, I'm more of a traditionalist I think that women can contribute without having to contribute the exact same thing that men do (imagine if we ran any other interaction this way, where a physician had to contribute to the hospital not just his medical skills but also taking out the trash, and the janitors had to provide medical assistance, or administrators doing the medical work and medical workers doing the administrative. It would be a disaster as no one would know what their job is and your having people who are better suited for one job being forced to do a job they are not suited to). But again, my issue is and always will be with inconsistency and hypocrisy, I don't care what you think and believe, I care that you actually live in the way that you preach. When women demand equality I expect them to act as an equal yet that is largely not the case.
50/50 for me comes around when I become serious with the guy. In my current relationship now, since I don't have my own place, I crash at my bf's every now and then as he lives closer to work and school for me. He spoils me, but out of love I'm one who'll grab groceries, cook, fill my bf's car with gas, treat him to dates (may it be a movie, dinner out, a game, concert, drinks at a bar, going for a couple's massage, a weekend trip...) here and there.
I'm more than happy to pay my way either 50/50 or he pays one night and l pay another. I would never expect a man to pay out all the time. But if he insists on treating me now and again then it would rude to not accept but of course l would do the same back.
If a guy always insists on paying, either he's very insecure about something and trying to overcompensate by being flashy with money, or else he's being manipulative, trying to make you feel indebted to him.
Or else he's super inexperienced and following bad advice, that's always a possibility too.
I guess dutch is the new rule and chivalry is dead. Is there is no elegance left in the world. Welcome to the new world of feminism, atheism, globalism, socialism, transgenderism, and a hundred other stupid ideas designed to make the world a colder place.
@sheepdip It's not about fair, nor is it about money, those are the least of the changes. Look around guys you aren't even men anymore with your faggity little skinny jeans and your race to be the first to look like the guy in the nerd poster. There was an elegance to life, the zenith of which may have been in the upper middle classes in the 1950-60-70-80s. That's gone now and people remind me more and more of gutter folks. Look at the the "end zone celebrations" in foot ball today. Had I acted like that back in the day coach would have had my ass for poor sportsmanship and acting like a damn fool. Have you noticed the stance? Yeah the stance every one on tv seems to have, that arms folded fuck you snear on their faces kind of stance. Look for it it's everywhere. What the hell happened? When did the whole country go ghetto? It all started back when young people started doing that pants too big ass hanging out can't time my shoes thing. Don't you people realize you look stupid? And if you're into it because you think your buddy is into it maybe it's time to take a good look at your buddy. Yes, I know about the creatively spelled word.
*It's not about fair, nor is it about money, those are the least of the changes.*
Then why complain about feminism, atheism and transgenderism?
*Look around guys you aren't even men anymore with your faggity little skinny jeans and your race to be the first to look like the guy in the nerd poster.*
Wah wah wah, I don't like the new fashions. Act your age dude.
*There was an elegance to life, the zenith of which may have been in the upper middle classes in the 1950-60-70-80s*
Sounds like an opinion, and a shit one at that. We are objectively in a better place now that we were then, or is this just about you not having to be ok with gays and blacks?
*Look at the the "end zone celebrations" in foot ball today.*
Don't care.
*have you noticed the stance?*
No. Maybe turn off the tv grandpa.
* When did the whole country go ghetto? It all started back when young people started doing that pants too big ass hanging out can't time my shoes thing.*
Oh no, more fashion bashing. Fashion is stupid and it always has been. People dress for power and always have done - the only thing that changes is the nature of the power. I dress for comfort and nothing else.
I agree with you about transgenderism. It is a sad twist in our societies. Frankly, I have more respect for gay men who dress as men, engage in sports with other men, but transwomen push to enter women sports and locker rooms. That's just sick. You got laws supporting this transgender movement and it just has to be the biggest slap to chivalry there ever could be. Catilyn Jenner won Women of the Year award in some magazine. I thought that was disgusting. Chivalry, our society, just seem to hit rock bottom.
@sheepdip I'm curious if you think it's okay for a guy dressed up as a woman, claiming to be trans, competing against women in sports and using their locker rooms?
@sheepdip Black men, gay men, use their gender assigned locker room. Trans people don't want to, they want to take their dick into the presence of naked women. That's perversion. It's disrespectful.
"Why" Jenner winning the award is disgusting? How is it not? That award could've gone to a woman who earned it. Putting on culturally womens clothes, make up and tossing your hair around doesn't make a woman, that's just movement. Some women have short hair, wear sports shoes, don't put on make up, act like tomboys, yet they're still women. We're cast into this world with no choice to be born male or female, black or white, in America or in Africa. Some things we just have no control of.
*black men, gay men, use their gender assigned locker room. Trans people don't want to, they want to take their dick into the presence of naked women. That's perversion. It's disrespectful. *
And, as yet, no one has been harmed by this. Also, how many women get naked in public rest rooms. Would you also ban lesbians from female changing rooms?
*"Why" Jenner winning the award is disgusting? How is it not?*
Not an answer.
*That award could've gone to a woman who earned it.*
Then you just have a difference of opinion with the editors.
*We're cast into this world with no choice to be born male or female, black or white, in America or in Africa. Some things we just have no control of.*
Just like legitimate trans individuals have no control over their gender dismorphia. You're willing to extend compassion to one group, but not to others.
I agree with 50/50, but not the way it was written, because that encourages excessive spending. I like it better when everyone has "skin in the game" in every transaction. That way you'll think twice before paying for something expensive, because you're not using someone else's money.
I hate 50/50 like that. I would only do it if he didn't have the full amount or I didn't have the full amount. Splitting every little thing down the line is just annoying and it might actually offend someone if they're trying to 'treat' you. Rather, he gets this meal and I'll get the next date. There's no need for two people to pay on each date.
In Europe everyone pays for their own stuff unless the man offers to take the bill. On the dates I've been on the man will normally offer to buy the first round of drinks and then I will buy the second round.
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Anonymous
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+1 y
Funny how gender roles are supposed to be a thing of the past, except when she gets a free meal at his expense then go gender roles!!!
Women are complete hypocrites on this. If you can't handle paying your half on a first date it is clear you didn't really comprehend the whole gender equality thing going on all around us. You're not entitled to a free meal on the first date any more than we are entitled to sex. If women can't handle that they get none of my attention nor desire. I want an independent adult, not some weak, dependent, narcissistic child.
You should discuss if you want to go dutch on any date before it begins so there isn't any confusion. Communication. Yet don't go to an expensive restaurant or bar on the first date, keep it cheap. Many women like this too because they don't want to feel pressured to put out if the guy just spent $100 on a single bottle of champange. Keep it simple. Focus on promoting your charm and personality, not your financial power. If you promote your power, she might expect you to keep doing that. Know what I mean?
Nope. Whoever cannot wants to pay... the 50 50 is just as bad as the 0 and 100 ... like no I paid last time it’s your turn type of thing with the 50/50... maybe that’s for poor people or people who don’t really love each other lol but that’s just my opinion... I’ll gladly pay alllll the time if I am able to and if he’s not. No problem here.. and if he wants to pay well good too! No problem :)
If 50/50 is an issue just stay home and eat groceries. It's healthier and cheaper. You can also watch movies from the comfort of your own home, with closed caption, alcohol and the freedom to pause the video to take a piss. You saved a lot of money on theatre admission and it's expensive food.
I really think it depends. If we are just getting to know each other and went to lunch or a movie, then yes 50/50. If you are asking me out on a date then I would think you would pay unless we talked about it first and agreed to split it. I have done that with dates I wasn't really sure I wanted to go out with so I don't feel guilty about not seeing them again. If I ask someone out I would think I would pay... and guys, not all guys, just because you buy a women dinner doesn't mean you are owed sex! LOL
So then why buy them dinner? What does the guy get out of it? The odds are a second, maybe even a third date, but it isn't likely to evolve past that. You are always trying to get to know someone on a date, so why should anyone be expected to pay to get to know someone? By saying someone else should pay for your meal you are basically saying my time is more valuable than yours. And in most cases it is the guy asking the girl out, so it isn't like it is a 50/50 thing when it comes to who asked who.
No I don't agree. I think each should just pay for their own. There could be the odd occasion where you might feel like shouting the guy or girl, but not as a duty or expectation. Just like you would any other friend. To me that's the way I like it - each pays for their own stuff.
I don’t care if it’s entirely 50/50 or not. If my man needs financial help, if we go out for dinner and he forgets his wallet, I’ll pay. If that happens to me, he’ll help me out, too.
Men are supposed to be the providers. If they ask the woman for a date then they should pay. Now if I'm in a real then no I dont mind doing things the way you mentioned in the post. But when it comes to mortgage house payment the man needs to cover that then I'll get groceries , the electric, gas, and water bill.
I never allow a girl to pay. You can't buy good favor with me. Cook for me, be sweet to me, clean my house, rub my back, that's the kind of stuff that will make me feel appreciated. You paying for me or buying me shit i find disgusting.
Now if she's a ho then i expect her to pay for 100% of everything. I expect to be a king. Either you are innocent and my little princess or you a ho and im your pimp. There is no other options when i deal with a woman.
I always do that with my boyfriend since the first day, and also used to do that with my ex. In my country that's the normal thing to do for the youth. So I agree, and other way would feel unnatural and uncomfortable for me.
My woman has always been Very generous with buying dinner and breakfasts ( normally goes she'll pay and then I'll pay next time ), I pay for the date but that's due to the fact I don't like anyone really buying me anything but have no problem buying others things. Just always feel bad when someone pays for something for me I feel that I owe them it back or that I'm a burden on them when they do so.
Not necessarily. I just think it's a nice show of chivalry and sort of a sign that he's not just trying to get a few cheap dates and a hook up out of me
When me and my boyfriend go out I mostly take money from my bank account (I earn a bit more than him) and give it to him to pay for us. So it seems as if he would pay but actually the money is mine 🤷♀️ I just like it as a gesture nothing more.
I think 50/50 is important because it makes sure no unhealthy power dynamic appear. But I don't think you have to be a stickler about, you don't need to make charts keep everything exact.
It doesn’t make sense to me expecting your boyfriend to always pay. Maybe try whoever chooses the place or makes the plans either picks up the bill or each person just pays for themselves?
My boyfriend pays about 90% of the time with me only paying every once in a while. I’ve offered to pay and he always turns me down. (He does have a full time job while I’m still in college, if that makes a difference)
@mistix, because men have been doing it for years when dating. Women won’t even consider us if we don’t pay for the entire date. So now that women are making more money, demanding careers and foregoing traditions. Let them pay for men now
I wouldn’t mind paying everything if they cooked, cleaned, kept up the house submitted, and took care of the kids as they have expected women to do throughout history. Equality!
Okay, then men can give birth to the babies, like women have been doing for the past 200,000 years of human history. Go get a womb implant & come back to me. www.yahoo.com/.../...n-wombs-1302360099545142.html
This whole way of thinking is garbage, do you think Martin Luther King Jr. Would want every white person to be whipped and beaten in the streets just to "even it out"? That kind of thinking would have just thrown fuel to the fire. Doing a complete 180 is not going to make things equal between men and women, you gotta compromise in certain aspects, otherwise we will have gone nowhere.
Women are either hos or marriageable basically. Hos should pay 100% for the man or else the man is a John. And i use hos loosely. Career women who are selling their fertile years for a paycheck are hos. That fertility is supposed to be the husbands and they are squandering it so it only makes sense to demand the money they are getting from it.
It would all depend on each one´s financial status and if they enjoy treating their partner to lunch, dinner or whatever. Normal case should be each one pays their own way.
it reads good if everyone has the finances for it ! for me , if he pays for the date that I can fix him a home cooked meal that will be better then anything he can get in a restaurant
That is what women want to be treated like a queen but they don't want to treat a men like Kings, they have never had to, I looking for an equil partner and I can't find them, I no there out there somewhere?
I get it in the sense that it compliments a man’s sense of wanting to provide but honestly I would rather be able to provide for myself for my own independence.
I'd like to be treated like a king and oay for everything because my future girlfriend will become my. wife and she will be a housewise so i'll be repsonsible of her and provide for her.
Insecure and passively corrupt man try to being a gentle man.. Both men and women have equal status constitutionally and morally , then whoever pays the bill, what's an issue? Both should have to play equal responsibility in there relation.
Forget the score..."stop expecting..." U said it all there...
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Anonymous
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Thank you! Now on the first date I’ll do everything because 95 percent of the time I asked. She might have zero interest but that’s the penis tax I pay. With that said by 3rd date if she’s not offering Ill likely cut her off.
@Guardian45 it’s what western does to still penalize men who try to date. We are still expected to fucking pay. Even the women insists on splitting the initial tab, if we let her she subconsciously is less interested.
Well i don't mind paying for loved one but 50/50 is just business conversation and love is not all about food and hangouts it's an unexplainable emotion
Exactly! 50/50 is like cold and friend type of thing... no real love from that point of view.. and which only indicates that money will always be a problem in such relationships.
Love is like alcohol intoxication. You want everyone to be happy, and so you wake up the next morning with shame, realizing just how much money you threw at strippers.
@Insomnia72 when you actually love someone, it doesn’t matter because at the time of spending that exactly what you wanted to do... for example if my boyfriend cheated on me or anything on that level, then I no longer would want to spend anything on him but I wouldn’t regret spending what I spent prior because that’s exactly what my heart felt at the time of spending...
You however, if you’re spending money on stripper and then regretting it later... the. Sorry but you’re a loser.
@sheepdip One might have a cheap lunch and then the other gets stuck with an expensive dinner. I agree with the concept, I just think that they might worry more about things being a "perfect" 50/50 rather than just having a nice date and enjoying themselves.
Exactly, those are very materialistic people who never learned to share. Even kids now are different, it used to be that if one has enough money to buy 2 ice creams he will just buy one for himself and one for his friend, now they will just buy one for themselves cause they want to keep the money. And that's sad
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