The man has to pay for the first meeting and first actual date. I’m a cheap date, tho, like $10-$20.
Once an orthodontist took me to a casino. I had never gambled in my life, but I had heard there were nickel slots. I soon found out nickel slots actually cost about $.40-$.50, but you can multiply your bets.
My pleasant date put in a bill and I began to gamble gingerly so as not to lose too much money too fast. He also put in a bill and played alongside me.
After 45 minutes, I noted the value on my card said $45. My eyes got big and I exclaimed ,”how did I get $45?” He replied “because I put in $100.”
Oh em gee! I thought he had put in a dollar bill! ONE DOLLAR. NOT A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL!
My jaw dropped to the floor. I thought at first I had won $44 but I had actually lost $65 of his money. I was speechless. I was so sorry. I was going to stop right then, but he smiled, said it was only money and that I should keep playing.
After a few more reassurances, I began to play the games again. By the end of the night I had only lost him $20 and we got free dinners because he had VIP status at the casino.
I did not get a second date.
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What? That is not how you treat somebody like a king or queen. If you go for half on things it's because you want to. It doesn't mean anything unless you want to. How many couples end because they did 50/50? Plenty. How many people stay together with no splitting? Plenty. I don't need anybody to try to tell me how to date a person. That is a discussion between me and that person. However if that person asked me, yes I would expect that person to pay. Because if I have no money, how a what, I'm declining. I don't want to owe anybody anything. If you have no money that's okay. They're are plenty of ways to hangout and spend time together without money. It's pure selfishness. If I pay it's because I want to. That's WHAT I do for my friends. And why I agree to only date friends. Character is important.
I only believe in that when he is already my man, yes. I've paid for dates with my partner and activities so many times. Just like he has paid for things as well. We help each other to pay bills and just share everything. Even though he is the type who wants to pay for literally everything. But as a loving couple, I don't find that fair so I keep offering to pay.
But now, if a guy asked me out on a first date, sorry but I'm not paying lol if he doesn't have enough money or doesn't want to pay, then take me to a park. That's free and we can actually get to know each other better there. Or no dates. Simple as that.
In my experience this is one of those topics (of which there are many) where most women say one thing on the internet but do the opposite in real life.
And here is the problem. Most women support the concept that whoever asks the other person out should pay for the date. That of course is very convenient for women since they rarely actually do the asking. Women love being pursued and tend to take full advantage of the privileges they enjoy in all that comes with it, and they don't want that to change.
It is also a fact that most women judge a man harshly if he doesn't pay for a date. I have had countless women tell me that's a sign he doesn't value her or her company and she won't go on a second date with him. They seem oblivious to the fact that what that means is he is paying for her company, which essentially makes her a paid escort, or worse.
The fact is women tend to support the idea of getting rid of gender roles, except the ones that benefit them, and this is a great example of that.
That's life for me... so I agree?
My the one who pays the most for things is more like 70/30 but I dont care. if you live together then yea it should be and if not then add all the money together take out all bills then equally divide 80% then put 20% in a savings (if your going to be together forever that is) the 20% is for a rainy day vehicle repair, house damage, medical bills etc. relationships are not about using the other but growing together to help each reach happiness so yes 50/50 for serious relationships
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I like that system, yes. There are some exceptions though as @loveslongnails pointed out. I'd also add"
*does one person CHOOSE to make significantly less money than the other?
...It depends on the couple, their dynamic, wishes and finances. If we make the same amount of money and cook for each other an equal amount of times, ok let's go 50/50. If he invited me somewhere I think it's common courtesy for him to pay. Even though I prefer men who want to pay for their woman, my boyfriend always does and rarely allows me to pay, especially taking into account that he is a working man and I am a student. Every situation is different and not everyone has fo abide the same rules, just find a person whose values align with yours.
Completely. Always been a believer in 50/50 unfortunately the majority of guys I dated weren't. It was always expected I'd just pay for everything. Stuff like this would always happen "Hey, wanna go out to this expensive restaurant with my friends on a double date?" "Sure, that'd be nice I'd love to meet them." Get through the whole meal the bill comes and he looks at me so obviously I pay then his friends are short on cash too so I'd give them what they needed to make up the rest of the bill. I've given guys money so they can afford a better lifestyle than me, clothes, gifts, food money etc without anything in return. So yeah 50/50 would be amazing 😂
I agree completely.
However, because of the way society is set up, I’m not gonna lie, I’d see it as a red flag if he didn’t pay for the first date. I wish this wasn’t true, and it has nothing to do with money. It simply has to do with the fact that because that is expected in society, if he didn’t, I’d start to question his character.
That being said though, I do hope society evolves so it’s just 50/50 and I do want to actively try and not question it more if he just pays for himself. It’s hard though.I can't offer an opinion because I don't know any of the particulars, like :
* where are you "at" in the relationship?
* how long have you been going out?
* are you living together?
* does one person make SIGNIFICANTLY more money than the other?I think each couple should establish their own rules for paying. If they want to go 50/50 all the time, that’s fine. If they’re traditional and the man wants to pay for everything, that’s also fine. If they’re really unorthodox and the woman wants to pay for everything, that’s fine too. Every couple shouldn’t have to go by the same policy.
@UncleBumbleF_K said it... This isn’t something I even worry about. If the guy has any kind of issue about this topic - regardless of the 50/50 or who pays - then I don’t want him anyway.
I see it as whoever asks for the date is responsible for paying for it.The only place women agree with this is on the internet, never real life. Pretty sure the day I meet a woman who actually follows through with this is going to be the day I die (and it probably won't happen then). Most will just say they want to go 50/50 but when it comes time for them to actually do it they will dump the man who offers to do so (seen it happen several times). Wish women would just be honest about what they want, makes life easier for every one.
50/50 for me comes around when I become serious with the guy. In my current relationship now, since I don't have my own place, I crash at my bf's every now and then as he lives closer to work and school for me. He spoils me, but out of love I'm one who'll grab groceries, cook, fill my bf's car with gas, treat him to dates (may it be a movie, dinner out, a game, concert, drinks at a bar, going for a couple's massage, a weekend trip...) here and there.
I'm more than happy to pay my way either 50/50 or he pays one night and l pay another. I would never expect a man to pay out all the time.
But if he insists on treating me now and again then it would rude to not accept but of course l would do the same back.Not a lady, but I agree completely.
If a guy always insists on paying, either he's very insecure about something and trying to overcompensate by being flashy with money, or else he's being manipulative, trying to make you feel indebted to him.
Or else he's super inexperienced and following bad advice, that's always a possibility too.I guess dutch is the new rule and chivalry is dead. Is there is no elegance left in the world. Welcome to the new world of feminism, atheism, globalism, socialism, transgenderism, and a hundred other stupid ideas designed to make the world a colder place.
I agree with 50/50, but not the way it was written, because that encourages excessive spending. I like it better when everyone has "skin in the game" in every transaction. That way you'll think twice before paying for something expensive, because you're not using someone else's money.
I hate 50/50 like that. I would only do it if he didn't have the full amount or I didn't have the full amount. Splitting every little thing down the line is just annoying and it might actually offend someone if they're trying to 'treat' you. Rather, he gets this meal and I'll get the next date. There's no need for two people to pay on each date.
In Europe everyone pays for their own stuff unless the man offers to take the bill. On the dates I've been on the man will normally offer to buy the first round of drinks and then I will buy the second round.
Funny how gender roles are supposed to be a thing of the past, except when she gets a free meal at his expense then go gender roles!!!
Women are complete hypocrites on this. If you can't handle paying your half on a first date it is clear you didn't really comprehend the whole gender equality thing going on all around us. You're not entitled to a free meal on the first date any more than we are entitled to sex. If women can't handle that they get none of my attention nor desire. I want an independent adult, not some weak, dependent, narcissistic child.Nope. Whoever cannot wants to pay... the 50 50 is just as bad as the 0 and 100 ... like no I paid last time it’s your turn type of thing with the 50/50... maybe that’s for poor people or people who don’t really love each other lol but that’s just my opinion... I’ll gladly pay alllll the time if I am able to and if he’s not. No problem here.. and if he wants to pay well good too! No problem :)
If 50/50 is an issue just stay home and eat groceries. It's healthier and cheaper. You can also watch movies from the comfort of your own home, with closed caption, alcohol and the freedom to pause the video to take a piss. You saved a lot of money on theatre admission and it's expensive food.
I really think it depends. If we are just getting to know each other and went to lunch or a movie, then yes 50/50. If you are asking me out on a date then I would think you would pay unless we talked about it first and agreed to split it. I have done that with dates I wasn't really sure I wanted to go out with so I don't feel guilty about not seeing them again. If I ask someone out I would think I would pay... and guys, not all guys, just because you buy a women dinner doesn't mean you are owed sex! LOL
No I don't agree. I think each should just pay for their own. There could be the odd occasion where you might feel like shouting the guy or girl, but not as a duty or expectation. Just like you would any other friend. To me that's the way I like it - each pays for their own stuff.
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