My girlfriend is scared of me, what can I do?

[Anonymous]

Long story short me and my girlfriend were having a playful wrestling match. You know that hole "I am stronger than you!, "As if I will show you!" while we are both laughting. As we were doing it I think she realised I was holding back and she asked me to use all my strength.
I didn't want to do it because I like to have playful fights with her and I didn't want it to end fast. She insisted and began putting all of her strength into it. I didn't wanted to lose to a girl, ya ya I can hear you judge me over there but yes I am that guy, besides she asked me to so I comply.
It was over after 10 seconds with me pinning both her hands down on top of her.
She was shoked. She had no idea the difference was that much. Now she doens't fight with me anymore and even sex isn't as rough as before.

Like she needs to be careful around me now

She is scared of me! I feel guilty and the last thing I want is my girl scared of me! She can be scared of everything but me! What can I do?

[Volucum]

It can be a small dent in her pride.

I used to date a brown belt judoka. She could probably win but got stunned by it being me. Whenever we playfought we would go until one had to give in. She loved loosing but wouldn't stop till I was literally about to pass out choking begging on the floor. I was known as an industrial winch and she probably liked that too.

Going back from that tandem. Maybe ask if she dislikes you being the stronger one? I'd pin her down, tease her a little and then roll over to have her ontop. Struggle a little and show her once she's got you you can't win. It will heal her pride and confidence a little. But that's me.

[Asker]

Playful fights with our loved ones are great aren't they? I don't want them to end and I want her to feel confortable doing it even if she knows that I could win at any time. I don't think less of her for it, why would her pride be tainted by this?

[Volucum]

A girl feels like you are pittying her when she finds out by how much you've been holding back. You should probably ask her because I can't see in her head by proxy. Just use this space as a start to find out why she may feel sad in such a way. Then you still have to ask her. But you know better what to look for.

[Phoenix98]

Really the best thing you can do is just let her know that there is no reason to be scared of you. And that you miss doing all the stuff you did before and how things were before. And maybe y'all can come to a compromise? I mean for all you know she could like being submissive.

Really you won't know till you sit her down and talk about it, communication and honestly they're the key to everything.

[Asker]

Thank you. I will try to talk to her about this. Hope after that she will still be down for our playful fights, I really enjoy them.

[Phoenix98]

I hope everything works out for you man.

[liburnia]

You don't have to feel guilty. We women often have no idea how much stronger you guys are. And then we "fight" with you, thinking to ourselves that we can beat your asses anytime and when something like this happens we're in shock. You just talk to her and make her feel safe agin. Start a playfull fight, but let her win just as you did so many times before.
I do this with my husband sometimes even now, and our kids cheer for me or dad, but I never felt in any way that my husband would abused his power over me to do me harm. Trust is the key.

[Chill_Meta]

I agree and disagree with you on that letting her win scenario because that seed of shock and fear is there. I do think that time and trust are key as you said. He should play by ear til she's comfortable again.

[Asker]

Thank you. I will try to assure her she was no reasons to be afraid of me. I would never hurt her on pourpose.

[Anonymous]

Well maybe she was testing how far she wanted to go and found out she has boundaries. She asked you to do it and maybe it did hurt her physically. Tell her you will stay gentle for awhile until she figures out what her boundaries are. Maybe she really doesn't like as much aggressive stuff than she thought she did. Aggressive is the wrong word but I couldn't think of a better word.

[Asker]

We talked since it happened and I think we are good now. We still play now, but I keep it more playful

[Trolloween]

This is pretty funny, your girlfriend is crazy. I've never used full strength when play fighting because it would hurt her, you probably hurt her wrists and she doesn't like to play anymore. She'll get over it stop being dramatic I don't think she's scared of you, unless she was totially delusional and thought she was stronger

[Asker]

You are not the first to say she isn't scared, that it was jsut the shock of the moment. Hope you guys are right.
Still I tought she knew I was that much stronger than her.

[Anonymous]

Meh, my ex boyfriend is just like that, he could never defeat me cause I'm a martial artist, I always pinned him down. He was scared of me and him parents were against me because they wanted some religious and submissive girl for their son. That's why we broke up.

[Asker]

So you did it to him many times knowing he didn't liked it?
I never done it again after I saw she didn't liked to be overpowered like that. I don't want to scare her away.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, my new boyfriend likes it a lot ;)

[Asker]

Why did you kept doing it to your ex if he didn't liked it?

[Opinion Owner]

Because I thought he'll like it eventually, but I think his parents had a bad influence on him.

[Asker]

Well most guys don't like being submissive.

[Opinion Owner]

That's strange, most of my boyfriends were submissive, and I even converted one dominant guy into submissive (not the one who broke up with me, but another one who liked it).

[Asker]

You seem to attract submissive guys.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Anonymous]

I can bend steel with my bare hands. I will never feel guilty for it, and neither should you.

[Asker]

Just feel bad for scaring her.

[J2ohhhhh]

She's just disappointed. Next time you have to do a more spectacular demonstration. Choke her out with a triangle or something like that.

[Asker]

Maybe not xD

[JamesRandiDebates]

She's not scared of you. She was giving you a shit test and you passed. Now she is being submissive. That's what she wanted from you to begin with.

[Thatsamazing]

Decent answer.

[Asker]

So you think she wanted it to happen? To feel me as a man?

[JamesRandiDebates]

@Asker If she had come even close to winning, she would have lost all respect for you.

[Thatsamazing]

No it doesn't mean she's scared of you dude.

[Thatsamazing]

And anyway, just talk to her about it and tell her that you don't want her to feel upset with you because you care about her. That's all.

[Asker]

You really think she is not scared of me? She really looked like it.

[boggboss]

Some proper idiots 🤣🤣🤣

[Asker]

Why do you say that?

[Gnlsv]

Just b

[Asker]

What?

[Gnlsv]

Just keep on being yourself. She'll get used to you the way you are. Be transparent.

[Asker]

You are right. Thanks!

[Gnlsv]

Yap. But are you also kinda scared of her?

[Asker]

Just scared she leaves me. I really love this girl.

[Gnlsv]

Keep up being the love. She'll be yours if she's yours.