How can I move on from the lost of my boyfriend?

Anonymous
I don't really know how to talk about this, I've found it so difficult to move on. I lost the love of my life in such a tragic and traumatic way and It haunts me every time I shut my eyes.

This summer me and my boyfriend had just came back from are first holiday abroad together, it was so romantic and is the most precious memory I've had with him. Someone crashed into the side of us on the motorway and drove away. All I remember after is being cut out of a car and my boyfriends dead body next to me with blood pouring out of him. I was screaming and crying for so long I knew straight away he was gone and I was never getting my beautiful boy back.

I can't even face his family now, I've shut everyone off, because I just want to be in my own world were I don't have to face the reality of him being gone.

I still love him so much, he's everything to me, his love is all I've ever known and now I'm all alone, we were one and now I feel I've lost mysel. I can't stop looking back to everything we did and went through. He was my first love. I have flashbacks of things like when we first lost are virginity to each other, when we first told each other we were in love, when he would always make me smile. He was such a special person not just to me but to all the people who knew him. He had the biggest, kindest heart. He was so beautiful inside and out and he didn't deserve the way he died, it should have been years from now with his loved ones by his side not by a drunk hit and run at 26 years old with no justice.

I've been through so much since he's been gone and having him not here makes it worse, knowing but that coward who killed him got away and is living free makes me sick and if it was up to me I'd kill the bastard, they killed the most important person in my life. I just want to be back with him, it dosent feel real, like soon I'm gonna wake up in his arms and it was just all a bad dream but he isn't coming back not ever and I need to face facts.
Updates:
11 mo
I've even been thinking of joining him, I know it sounds crazy but I can't bring another day on without him, I cry every morning because I know he's not there.
How can I move on from the lost of my boyfriend?
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