Once in a relationship, would you let your partner have new friends of the opposite sex?

Question

I would love to hear your thoughts about it, but please be respectful.

Natattack21 · Accepted Answer

I am one of those girls that have a lot of guy friends, always have. Ever since I was in middle school, I chose to have 2 girlfriends, and the rest of my friend group were guys. They were what I liked... no drama, and just (the good type) bullshit, and jokes all the time.

Now, I know - this gets a bad rep. b/c most likely that makes me a slut. Which I find to be the biggest bullshit ever, but I digress.

When I met my at-the-time boyfriend, I told him off the bat I had more guy friends than girl friends, but he didn't realize the ratio. He started to get jealous, started to accuse me of cheating, and I finally had enough of his shit considering I was being accused of something I didn't do - so, I broke up with him.

I broke up with him because I had known some of those people from primary school, and the rest from middle. I wasn't going to throw YEARs of friendship for someone that literally talked down to me, and didn't trust me.

When it comes to relationships, being honest is the best policy. You may have hard times following that honesty, but its worth it to find the person that best suits you. Trust is another thing, if you can't handle your significant other having friends of the opposite gender, then you might want to talk to them about it. They might have the same reaction as me, after I was given an ultimatum. So, beware.

his_empress998 · Accepted Answer

I don't mind if he has a female friend as long as there's nothing more than a friendship going on or it's over for good. I don't really have male friends but thats just me. My boyfriend is the only guy I need. Trust is the key though.

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

Have opposite sex friends is too vague.
Types of behavours have to be ironed out and boundaries set with each couple.
How much time do they hang out.
Going out to dinners/friend dates
Going on trips alone together
Flirting
Touching, tickling, cuddling
Staying over at each others places overnight
Late night texts
Sharing personal info... sharing love life details.
Everyones boundaries and comfort levels or flat out refusals vary with each.

simplelikeme · Accepted Answer

Here is my explanation, in a relationship my friends should be her friends and her friends should be my friends we should all be friends. There is no having my friends, when a woman or man keeps their friends away from their partner or significant other. I find this to be a big red flag something I'm not going to put up with.

Chikky · Answer

Yah, he can have opposite friends, relationship is all about trust anyways

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Would I "let" my partner have opposite sex friends? No woman I have dated would look to me for permission, and I would never presume to forbid it.

liburnia · Answer

Hmm, yes. I have a new male friend. My husband is having hard time accepting it, but he never said you can't have this friendship. I never just go and hang with that guy. We are mostly with other people. We try to include our sposes in this friendship, although it still remains our thing. We met in a free time activity group. We share same passion for music, but this is what we found out along the way and not something that got us together. I stil don't understand why we became friends in the first place, but it's something that just happend and now we're dealing with it so both of our spouses feel comfortable with that. His spous deals with it better then my husband 🙂

DizzyDesii · Answer

This played a big part in why my relationship ended. He didn't like the “old” guy friends who i brought into the relationship and i didn't like the “new girls” he brought into the relationship. I just found it disrespectful honestly that he was purposely out their searching for new girls to be friends with because he gets along with them better than guys. I mean im the same way, but in a relationship, i try to distance myself from other guys, not get closer. If she's your friend who you see like a sis (and never liked eachother) and y'all have known eachother 2+ years before we met, then i can respect that. But if you met her the same year as me and one of y'all used to like the other... oh uh uh

Browneye57 · Answer

It is already accepted that there really is no such thing as 'platonic' when it comes to men and women. One or the other will always want more.
So, tell us for what purpose they want to have 'friends' of the opposite sex. My guess is it's the backup plan. Women ALWAYS have a backup plan, whether they realize it or not. They ALWAYS have guys in the wings they can call on if necessary.
Guys would do well to do the same thing. ALWAYS has a backup plan in case she doesn't work out. Besides, women are drawn to men that are desirable, have options. They are beyond competitive when it comes to men and dating.

A girl wants to have guy friends? She wants to have a backup plan. I guarantee it.

jazgnagey1 · Answer

I've been married for a year now. My husband has made many new male and female friends. Im not threatened by any of them. I trust that he won't cheat on me. I trust that in the end he loves me. If you can't trust someone you dont need to be with them. That type of relationship is just tiring.

wankiam · Answer

there is no ''let'' about it... if she has male friends its her choice and because im not the jealous type i would ''accept'' it and probably befriend them myself too infact as i only really date women that are part of my social/political culture anyway

Bongem · Answer

To me personally, a relationship without blind trust isn't really a relationship. I need to be able to not worry about my partner when it comes to fidelity. But I must add this to my statement: this is something that can not be broken. If my partner would betray my trust, I would never be able to forgive and trust her again. Well maybe forgive, but never trust again. In which I'm saying: we would have to brake up if she ever did.

In short: if I can't trust my partner... who can I trust?

metalhead_66 · Answer

Yes of course I would let her have guy friends. If there's no trust in the relationship it's not worth it you know. I have many female friends that I hang out with from time to time but that's just about it. So if my girlfriend has many guy friends that she likes to hang out with I wouldn't mind that at all

loveslongnails · Answer

What you "meant" and what you "wrote" as your title are not the same, so don't blame us for reading! LOL

To answer your question, I'll say this - I didn't realize that you OWNED your partner, or she owns you, and could tell you who you can and can't be friends with? The quickest way to lose your partner is to try something like that. You either trust them, or you don't, make up your mind.

Your premise is that once you start dating, you don't need to make any "new" friends of the opposite sex. Good luck with that. You'll lose that girl in a heartbeat if she has any self respect.

Phoenix98 · Answer

It's not going to bother me if she has friends who are guys. I'm not a controlling guy and so I'm not going to try to control aspects of her life like that.

And if a guy friend of hers did make a move on her I would trust her enough to deal with it on her own without me having to intervene.

JackSmy · Answer

"Let" my partner have friends of the opposite sex? I don't own her, and it is kind of offensive, that some men still think that they have that control over a woman that they are dating, or in a relationship with!!
She is at least my equal, and she has every right to have the friends she chooses! I have no right to 'control' who she knows or who she is friends with!!
That sounds like some insecure, controlling fool that hasn't woken up to the modern age!

WomboCombo · Answer

Yeah, I trust my partner but I want to know what the guy is like so I know if I can trust his intent. She can have Male friends if I know they respect the boundaries of the relationship and not be trying to sneak their way in.

Torari · Answer

I don't think men and women can be just friends. Not the same way men and men, or women and women can.

You can be friendly with the opposite sex of course, maybe even hang out in groups. But i don't think men and women can be close friends without sexual chemistry.

So yes and no, having male buddies is fine. But have close male friends would definitely make me suspicious.

MorticiAddams · Answer

This isn't even a question. It's not your job to LET your partner have relationships with other people. Any partner controlling your friendships is straying dangerously close to abuse territory.

Sabretooth · Answer

sure-unless my senses don't like em. i'd like to think i won't need to assert myself-only thing i won't allow is for her to go out drinking without me there to look out for her. aside from that-i'd like to think she'd be smart enough not to do something stupid-still, i'd appreciate being kept in the loop.

Boredoftrivialshiiit · Answer

he chose to date me over his other female friends so i won't question it unless it's blatantly obvious its more than a friendship with others. i myself have many malefriends and my clsest friends are male

1828avaava1828 · Answer

What do I care? I have one goal: to be flyweight champion of the ufc 🥊

Ruby3 · Answer

I don't want to bind anyone and in todays world it is normal to have friends of opposite sex

1truekhaleesi · Answer

They're allowed to have friends. Old and new. My ex was convinced I was lying to him about my best friend being gay (never mind that he's been with his partner for years) it's one reason I left him.

Once in a relationship, would you let your partner have new friends of the opposite sex?

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