Should I confess my feelings towards my female friend who probably still has a boyfriend? What do you think?

[AltaCalif]

Initially, I didn't have any feelings towards her, I just thought of her to be a normal female friend. Until a few months ago, when I started to see her more mature and behaving very responsible and even commendable in some situations which made me think that she is an amazing person. The thing is I don't know if she is still with the guy she was dating. I don't even know if what I am feeling are actually real feelings or just infatuation.

Both of us being busy right now with the exams I asked her "If she would like to go bowling after exams". To which she agreed.

Updates

+1 y

Update: I told her about my feelings a month before going to the bowling. She rejected me in a polite way and we remained friends. I doubt anything will happen as long as she's together with her boyfriend. Thus I'll try to find my SO elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Don't... if you wanna keep her as a friend. This happened to me several years ago. It was a woman I worked with, I thought we had good comradeie and felt comfortable enough hinting well at least a weird way in letting her know I liked her. .. shouldn't have because I'm already with someone..(just wanted to see if it was a possibility, had lot in common etc)
Had several profiles and messaged her and be as somebody else and build me up and trying to get them broke up. Cause them to fight. Then off my real account post positive (stuff that the person would like, show interest in)
can't believe I actually thought it work Everything changed for the bad. I lost her as a friend, she called me a stalker, wanted nothing to with me. Talked to everyone else but me, leaving me out all the time as if I wasn't there, real nasty attitude, despised the sight of me, read all the messages out loud in front of me etc. I got embarrassed and didn't talk to her for a real long time... every time I tried it got worse.

[sd1223]

I get that you were trying to get her and the boyfriend to break up but why do that? Why not be friends with her and then if she became single maybe tell her how you feel? How did she find out what you did?

[Opinion Owner]

@sd1223 think she put two and two together.

[Hermes-Paris]

Yup. If you feel something for her and you don't know if she has a boyfriend better get it out. Do you have anything to lose? Maybe. If your friendship is not that strong and she is not interested its better to know now and set your eyes on something else. You just gotta be cool about it and not force her hand. Just mention it, drop some hints and tell her how much you like her. Leave it at that and let it stew in her brain for a while. Sometimes the biggest trees come from the smallest seeds. Who knows she might feel the same for you.

[xxochloxxo]

I would if I were you. I definitely would. It’s a good sign she said yes to bowling. It’s best to ask her if she is still with her partner first as you don’t want to get in a triangle but if I were you I would. If you want something you go and get it right

[Flyawaywithme]

I would confess your feelings. The worst she can say is no, and you will eventually get over that sting. But if she ends up saying yes than you’ll get to have a romantic summer

[Darknut]

I just have to like this. How original. Where have you been in my life?

[Flyawaywithme]

@Darknut lmaooo

[OlderAndWiser]

Confessing your feelings when she currently has a boyfriend leads to. . . nowhere for you. Her status needs to be confirmed before you make any other decisions. Current boyfriend = keep your mouth zipped.

[ZackBan]

I think before you confess or don't you should inquire if she's still dating.
She agreed to go bowling so that's a good sign. While bowling just casually ask her she'll say yes or no.

Also if you're not sure you have feelings you probably do.
See feelings aren't as complicated as we make them it's not a fairy tale. Regardless if or not you're in love with her you can try dating her and seeing if she makes you happy and you make her happy. If you're both satisfied then you have feelings if not you can always break up.

[BilyanasBeach]

I think the only time to confess feelings is when you know both feel the same way. First find out if she has a boyfriend, then work on become more than friends, then when you see it in her eyes and actions and words, you can confess, for the best outcome.

[MrNameless]

Find out if she dating someone first, or it will be really awkward.

Second, don't spill all the beans. Life isn't like the movies. And a lot of girls will run away if you do that. I'd probably show interest and ask her out, once you find out she is single. You can then talk about how much you liked her before or during the date if you like, but just control how much you say

[LoU_Hades]

Don't do that. Feelings will disappear in less than a week. She isn't your friend because she wants your feelings but a competent friend and a guy for time when she wants to gain distance to boyfriend.

[Oric50]

Boyfriends and girlfriends who the fuck made up this system? Because husband and wife is a committment made to the state, friends, family and a church. Why do people hide behind of a weak ass excuse I have a boyfriend or girlfriend. What the fuck does that even mean. Then add in being over 35 and single do you then say i have a boyfriend or girlfriend sounds dumb. I think it sounds dumb from the beginning.

[midnightmoon05]

Find out if she has a boyfriend before going bowling.
I had that issue and it was very disrespectful to me/relationship

[mynameisRIS]

Remain her friend until she's single or you know for sure 🤔 Just know its a huge risk when you take a friendship to the next level so be sure that's what you both really want

[KrakenAttackin]

No! If you "confess your love", she will see you as an insect she has ultimate power over. If she is not into you and she has a boyfriend, all you are doing is warming her friend-zone-bench. Get off the bench and find another girl.

[grif429]

wow that's hard. i would rather let her have the choice. She or he could feel the same way but saw no opening i rather know i tried then to never tried at all. But you have to be willing to accept their decision

[kellogg0224]

If she has a boyfriend then no. Respect her happiness and her relationship.

[In_Trance]

Another example of why guys and girls can't be friends

[Gwenhwyfar]

Nice!

Find out if they’re still together

[sensible27]

Will it change anything?

[GreenGold1992]

Maybe find out if she's single first.

[Avicenna]

No, definitely not

[bourgeisenafied]

Cheat her

[Anonymous]

HAHAHAHA lol

[Nachowedgie]

Bad idea