I’m a lesbian and my guy friend has feelings for me?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been friends since 2017 and he knew that I’m a lesbian ever since we first started hanging out. Last week he told me that he has feelings for me and that he’s had them for a few months already. I didn’t really know what to say other than that I hope he loses those feelings for me since I only like girls. Now he has been talking to me about what he likes about me and that he wishes I were bi or straight. I told him it’s not possible though and he apologized.


What can I say that will help him understand better and lose feelings for me? Also is our friendship doomed?

[TonyV]

Well maybe he's not asking you to change, maybe he just wanted to get those feelings off his chest, he may have been thinking "I'll never know if I dont try" or "you miss 100% of the shots you dont take" but now he has tried and he's got to stop.

Your friendship isn't doomed right now, but if he keeps pushing that will strain it over time. try to stress that he is in the friendzone, start polite and passive aggressive and work your way more stern. Is he a friend or bestfriend? So if he tries to give complements that you feel are flirting hit him with something like "your such a good friend" "that's why you're my bestfriend" "you're like a brother to me" or sense your a lesbian "why can't I find a girl like you?" In politely dodging advances and he won't take the hint that he's in the friendzone and tou still feel like trying to make this work it time to get Saturn. Bold statements that cannot possibly be miss interpreted like "we will never be more than friends" "you are making me uncomforable" or "I told you no, you are starting to irritate me", be bold and monotone with these avoid saying you like him when saying these so he dosent get any mixed signals.

It's not doomed yet, his feelings are his problem, he needs to stop trying, he tried you said no, that's that.

[Asker]

Thank you, this was super helpful :)

[TonyV]

Thank you I try.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

My friend tells me she wants to start working out again & look skinny & I tell her if you want to look skinny hang out with fat people. On the other side of things your guy friend has feelings for you & you only like girls so tell him if he really wants to be with you he should have a sex change.

[Anonymous]

Talk to him about your periods and/or start farting in front of him.

[OddBeMe]

Um. Prob not. I’ve been lucky to have friends across the gender spectrum and sometimes crushes form. But with through talks or ignoring it, we all move on emotionally. Sometimes those crushes led to less and less contact, sometimes not.

Depends on the person, I think. Are they able to move on and still be friends.

[RawIronhide]

He can't understand, I can't understand honestly but that's ok. you can still be friends but he needs to know to find someone els if that's the case.

[Asker]

What can’t you understand? And yeah he’s really good looking, he can probably get any girl. Just not me lol

[RawIronhide]

Well I don't know I'm heterosexual I guess i feel the same way about girls as you do. but I don't know what it's like to be a girl and only like girls. I just can't rationalize it.

[CrazyRay43]

“A few months” 🤣🤣🤣

He’s been trying to “convert” you since he first met you, you’ve just recently made him think that he had a chance... or desperation

[Asker]

Oh well he thought wrong

[CrazyRay43]

Maybe he had recently watched Chasing Amy

[F1nski]

That's sad for your friend

[beatmymeat4me]

Tell him to chop it off