Do you feel resentment or appreciation for your first love?

[elisa_0]

I’m glad he was my first love. I’d love to see him again one day

Resentment

Neutral

Appreciation/care

Can’t get over them yet

[Xoxocutekitty]

I spent 4 years liking someone who liked someone else. My first love and I were great friends and he was the smartest kid in school. I can't say that I learned a lot about myself except that I was capable of being romantically dedicated to someone for a long time (note he was also like this, but sadly never for me).

I did a lot of adventuring once I got into college and I realized that liking one person for so long is still sort of rare. A couple years out of college I met my current boyfriend. In several ways, he is a lot like my first love. So I can appreciate that I can still look back and realize that the "traits" I liked in my first love, are genuinely good traits for me, just that specific tree was no good. My first love was a very kind, courteous, thoughtful, and intelligent person. He's the kind of person to cross his T's and dot his I's. He was, particularly for his age group, very mature and sought wisdom more than experiences for the sake of experiences. These are traits that stand the test of time where adventurousness, bravery, and ambition have not (at least for me).

[elisa_0]

This seriously deserved MHO. I can relate so much ❤️

[kitty71]

For me it was my first guy I really really fell in love with inmy entire life Masybe for him I ws not his first love I was just more like a casual friend, cause we just went out a couple of times in dates and even went intimate twice but we were not in a relationship and we wre not a couple either. For me it was the first time I felt rally nervous about a guy, I felt nice around him, even if was just talking for him it was different, it was not reciprocal but for me he was the first guy but sadly it did not progress anymore even if I believe we could cause one month ago almsot 2 months ago, this guy tragically passed away he was just 47 and died suddenly of a heart attack, just ride his bike on a Sunday morning.

[elisa_0]

Oh my god 😣 I’m so sorry

[kitty71]

yes it is tragic and sad. I knew he never wanted to develop a relationship with me and I was ok with it just being aroudn him it made me happy for me that was enough. He even ghosted me and disregard me some times and stopped talking to me. But his death hit me real hard cause I thought that maybe after this health crisis we could catch up again and maybe he stopped being mad at me cause the last time we physically saw each toehr was one year ago at a house of my male cousin and h was all nice. and we joked each other. Then the last time we communicate (not physically though) was on December of last year, then he got upset with me about something and he simply stopped talking to me. He resume like saying something to me the day it was his birthda one month before his death on June 24th when I wish him Happy Birthday and his last text to me was "Thanks very much for the birthday wishes" that was the last time I had contact with him over text and physically last yar one yar ago was the last time I saw him physically.

[TruthBringer]

I feel more resentment for myself for allowing myself to go through things I shouldn't have, in the first place. I wish the first love with with someone else. She and the issues she brought with her were simply not worth it. So to me, it feels wasted.

Even though looking back, I learnt valuable lessons and they helped me be who I am today. A stronger and wiser person. However, looking back, the lessons I have learnt are of bullshit nobody deserves to go through (such as racism). I also realized it was not true love on her side, it was simply the void I was filling in her life that made her "love" me. And this void was easily filled by other people such as family or her acquaintances. She loved opportunistically while I loved idealistically. A mistake from my side for being naive. Especially since I thought I could help her "fix" herself (big oof, I know).
If I could turn back time, I would simply keep it at a "hi" and nothing more.

[elisa_0]

I hope you’re in a better place!

[TruthBringer]

@elisa_0 Thank you for your kind wishes. The experience I've shared above is of a few years ago. I am glad to say that I am indeed in a better place. I am in a happy, stress-free relationship with a wonderful girl. Even before I got to know my girlfriend, I was in a much better place being single. That's life you know, you take hits, get up again and move on.

[Drumlin2001]

Both. I was very late bloomer so first relationship at 35yr old. She gave me time to work through mental blocks i had, especially around physical intimacy, i appreciate that part very much. We unexpectedly fell pregnant quite quickly, at which point she ended relationship and became quite argumentative, and dictating what would happen over access and custody for years ahead.
If ahe wanted put of relationship that's her choice, but for me her stance on our child was very wrong and i won't forgive that (she miscarroed shprtly after so it all became irrelevamt and even more pointless). She did try to start a conversation a few months later, i had moved on.

[YHL6965]

She allowed me to learn a lot of things about love, relationships, myself and, for that, I'm very grateful. We did not have a resentful or angry break up so I still have a very positive image of her. I broke up with her because I just did not feel like it was going anywhere, I was not feeling well about this relationship and I had the chance to learn many lessons by analyzing my feelings and what made me break up. Turns out I was not in a good state for a relationship, that there were many things about myself that should have been taken care of before going for a serious relationship and my lack of experience only amplified that.

I think about her at times, I wonder how she is doing, how she is feeling and I honestly still feel care for her.

Besides, we did not have any real bad moments and yet we had a lot of nice moments. I had never felt feelings like that for anyone before, it was so magical at times. I'm honestly emotional just talking about here but what I felt was truly great and I hope I can feel similar things again some day.

That said though, I felt really bad about breaking up because she had suffered a lot from previous relationships and she was kind of scared of love because of that. It was so tough for me, I felt so guilty for wanting to end things, even though it was the right thing to do. It took some time for me to forgive myself for that because I knew it would make her suffer. I even had to cut her off because it was so hard for me to let go of her, to detach myself and I had to for the same reasons I broke up with her initially.

I really appreciated the closeness we had, the fact that she was open about her feelings, her struggles and I really liked being there for her and doing my best to help her.

If you can read this Lauren, know that I wish you the happiest life possible and I'm sorry I couldn't give you that happiness, but I hope you will find a man one day that will. You deserve love, happiness, all the good things in life and don't let anybody convince you otherwise!

[elisa_0]

Thank you for sharing. ❤️

[MindYourEyes]

More like resentful towards myself. He was garbage and it was the first time experiencing some sort of relationship. He kept us a secret, he messed around with one of my friends where I found it all over MySpace (haha!), He was pressuring me to have sex. Thank goodness I never gave into that at least. And that’s why he left me. I hate that I let myself go through those obstacles XD I’m so dumb. Then again I was 13 and he was 17XD. I don’t really care about it though. Got over it many years ago. I wouldn’t care if we were friends either. so neutral

[AlwaysBelieving]

Wow. It's good that you can feel neutral about it.

[MindYourEyes]

@AlwaysBelieving yeah me too. Sometimes you just have to forgive and let go 🙂

[thatweirdgirl17]

I'm netrual because the reason for resentment is because he hurt me real bad with all of his lying and never making "time" for me but I always appreciate him because he taught how relationships should and shouldn't be and after we broke up I was able to find someone who treats me much better and we've been together for 5 years and are happily engaged now.

[elisa_0]

Wow congrats 🤩💞

[thatweirdgirl17]

Thanks!

[thehorriblesheikh]

I have yet to be in love with anyone, but my ex-girlfriend was nice to me, though only to me. I think I lost respect for her when I realized that she was generally a mean person. The breakup was bad and after the breakup she became very mean to me, she manipulated someone and managed to use him against me. He was not able to hurt me though because I had a lot of friends/support back then.

Anyways, if you are so fond of your first love, then why are you still not with him?

[elisa_0]

We live very far apart lol

[thehorriblesheikh]

That is pretty sad.

[Kaneki05]

Real love between 2 always = appreciation. Even if it's the most tragic story. And yes i appreciate my first love i hope she is good and don't let whoever she is with now mistreat her and hopefully she has her job she really wanted. And great i teared up thinking about are last convo thanks lol.

[roody]

He dumped me out of no where. I found out he had been cheating on me. I lost trust in men and dating for like 4 years.
i have a really stable and loving relationship now and I still worry he’s cheating or suddenly going to grow out of love with me. I think most of my fears and anxiety can be traced from my first love.

[scooogy]

My sister seriously reacted to it like it went all well and she recommended me to give advice to her female friends with their relationship issues. Unfortunately she didn't know that my "first" girlfriend had in a way been my first, second and third, leaving, coming back, leaving, coming back. Aaaand getting jealous when there suddenly was another girl showing interest in me. 🙄

[SjE78]

for cheating = resentment...
ending it between us (even if was a year late) = appreciation
the fact that she is now a friend and nothing more (due to use already having kids together) = care

[simonqq]

Definitely not resentment I still care about her a lot and only want the best for her. It didn't end in a way either of us wanted and we are still very close even though we aren't together anymore.

[severance]

I've never been in love. But I've had deep crushes on people. No regrets. They all had something amazing about them.

[yucel_eden]

I used to feel resentment but now I am thankful that she didn’t want me.

We were worlds apart and I couldn’t see that. So now I can work on myself.

[Cherokeehp]

I feel so many feelings towards my first love. There’s a lot of sadness and rage. But in some ways I’m thankful that I met him because I got to get my virginity out of the way, and the heartbreak forced me to focus on myself become a better person.

[namelessking1]

Even she turned into a hoe today i still like and have some respect ✌

[elisa_0]

Lol okay

[Agape93]

I absolutely love him and I always will :) he’s my dearest and best friend

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I have mixed feelings of resentment and love towards my ex. She fucked me over hard towards the end, but she was my first love. Most of the relationship was beautiful. Only the end was ugly. C'est la vie.

[DeviloftheValleys]

I don't know. Because I don't know who was my forst love. I don't know if I've loved at all. What is love?

[Phoenix98]

As far as first genuine loves go she wasn't bad we for the most part had a good relationship, it just didn't work out in the end but we had a good breakup with no hard feelings.

[Liam_Hayden]

I've had girlfriends, but have never a "first love." Unless you count my guitars.

[apollo3000]

The first girl. wman I was led to love - resentment toward my parents

[blutwolfe]

Resentment lol, even thinking about her makes me feel sick