Do you feel resentment or appreciation for your first love?

Question

I’m glad he was my first love. I’d love to see him again one day

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

I spent 4 years liking someone who liked someone else. My first love and I were great friends and he was the smartest kid in school. I can't say that I learned a lot about myself except that I was capable of being romantically dedicated to someone for a long time (note he was also like this, but sadly never for me).

I did a lot of adventuring once I got into college and I realized that liking one person for so long is still sort of rare. A couple years out of college I met my current boyfriend. In several ways, he is a lot like my first love. So I can appreciate that I can still look back and realize that the "traits" I liked in my first love, are genuinely good traits for me, just that specific tree was no good. My first love was a very kind, courteous, thoughtful, and intelligent person. He's the kind of person to cross his T's and dot his I's. He was, particularly for his age group, very mature and sought wisdom more than experiences for the sake of experiences. These are traits that stand the test of time where adventurousness, bravery, and ambition have not (at least for me).

kitty71 · Accepted Answer

For me it was my first guy I really really fell in love with inmy entire life Masybe for him I ws not his first love I was just more like a casual friend, cause we just went out a couple of times in dates and even went intimate twice but we were not in a relationship and we wre not a couple either. For me it was the first time I felt rally nervous about a guy, I felt nice around him, even if was just talking for him it was different, it was not reciprocal but for me he was the first guy but sadly it did not progress anymore even if I believe we could cause one month ago almsot 2 months ago, this guy tragically passed away he was just 47 and died suddenly of a heart attack, just ride his bike on a Sunday morning.

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

I feel more resentment for myself for allowing myself to go through things I shouldn't have, in the first place. I wish the first love with with someone else. She and the issues she brought with her were simply not worth it. So to me, it feels wasted.

Even though looking back, I learnt valuable lessons and they helped me be who I am today. A stronger and wiser person. However, looking back, the lessons I have learnt are of bullshit nobody deserves to go through (such as racism). I also realized it was not true love on her side, it was simply the void I was filling in her life that made her "love" me. And this void was easily filled by other people such as family or her acquaintances. She loved opportunistically while I loved idealistically. A mistake from my side for being naive. Especially since I thought I could help her "fix" herself (big oof, I know).
If I could turn back time, I would simply keep it at a "hi" and nothing more.

Drumlin2001 · Accepted Answer

Both. I was very late bloomer so first relationship at 35yr old. She gave me time to work through mental blocks i had, especially around physical intimacy, i appreciate that part very much. We unexpectedly fell pregnant quite quickly, at which point she ended relationship and became quite argumentative, and dictating what would happen over access and custody for years ahead.
If ahe wanted put of relationship that's her choice, but for me her stance on our child was very wrong and i won't forgive that (she miscarroed shprtly after so it all became irrelevamt and even more pointless). She did try to start a conversation a few months later, i had moved on.

YHL6965 · Answer

She allowed me to learn a lot of things about love, relationships, myself and, for that, I'm very grateful. We did not have a resentful or angry break up so I still have a very positive image of her. I broke up with her because I just did not feel like it was going anywhere, I was not feeling well about this relationship and I had the chance to learn many lessons by analyzing my feelings and what made me break up. Turns out I was not in a good state for a relationship, that there were many things about myself that should have been taken care of before going for a serious relationship and my lack of experience only amplified that.

I think about her at times, I wonder how she is doing, how she is feeling and I honestly still feel care for her.

Besides, we did not have any real bad moments and yet we had a lot of nice moments. I had never felt feelings like that for anyone before, it was so magical at times. I'm honestly emotional just talking about here but what I felt was truly great and I hope I can feel similar things again some day.

That said though, I felt really bad about breaking up because she had suffered a lot from previous relationships and she was kind of scared of love because of that. It was so tough for me, I felt so guilty for wanting to end things, even though it was the right thing to do. It took some time for me to forgive myself for that because I knew it would make her suffer. I even had to cut her off because it was so hard for me to let go of her, to detach myself and I had to for the same reasons I broke up with her initially.

I really appreciated the closeness we had, the fact that she was open about her feelings, her struggles and I really liked being there for her and doing my best to help her.

If you can read this Lauren, know that I wish you the happiest life possible and I'm sorry I couldn't give you that happiness, but I hope you will find a man one day that will. You deserve love, happiness, all the good things in life and don't let anybody convince you otherwise!

MindYourEyes · Answer

More like resentful towards myself. He was garbage and it was the first time experiencing some sort of relationship. He kept us a secret, he messed around with one of my friends where I found it all over MySpace (haha!), He was pressuring me to have sex. Thank goodness I never gave into that at least. And that’s why he left me. I hate that I let myself go through those obstacles XD I’m so dumb. Then again I was 13 and he was 17XD. I don’t really care about it though. Got over it many years ago. I wouldn’t care if we were friends either. so neutral

thatweirdgirl17 · Answer

I'm netrual because the reason for resentment is because he hurt me real bad with all of his lying and never making "time" for me but I always appreciate him because he taught how relationships should and shouldn't be and after we broke up I was able to find someone who treats me much better and we've been together for 5 years and are happily engaged now.

thehorriblesheikh · Answer

I have yet to be in love with anyone, but my ex-girlfriend was nice to me, though only to me. I think I lost respect for her when I realized that she was generally a mean person. The breakup was bad and after the breakup she became very mean to me, she manipulated someone and managed to use him against me. He was not able to hurt me though because I had a lot of friends/support back then.

Anyways, if you are so fond of your first love, then why are you still not with him?

Kaneki05 · Answer

Real love between 2 always = appreciation. Even if it's the most tragic story. And yes i appreciate my first love i hope she is good and don't let whoever she is with now mistreat her and hopefully she has her job she really wanted. And great i teared up thinking about are last convo thanks lol.

roody · Answer

He dumped me out of no where. I found out he had been cheating on me. I lost trust in men and dating for like 4 years.
i have a really stable and loving relationship now and I still worry he’s cheating or suddenly going to grow out of love with me. I think most of my fears and anxiety can be traced from my first love.

scooogy · Answer

My sister seriously reacted to it like it went all well and she recommended me to give advice to her female friends with their relationship issues. Unfortunately she didn't know that my "first" girlfriend had in a way been my first, second and third, leaving, coming back, leaving, coming back. Aaaand getting jealous when there suddenly was another girl showing interest in me. 🙄

SjE78 · Answer

for cheating = resentment...  ending it between us (even if was a year late) = appreciation  the fact that she is now a friend and nothing more (due to use already having kids together) = care

simonqq · Answer

Definitely not resentment I still care about her a lot and only want the best for her. It didn't end in a way either of us wanted and we are still very close even though we aren't together anymore.

severance · Answer

I've never been in love. But I've had deep crushes on people. No regrets. They all had something amazing about them.

yucel_eden · Answer

I used to feel resentment but now I am thankful that she didn’t want me.  We were worlds apart and I couldn’t see that. So now I can work on myself.

namelessking1 · Answer

Even she turned into a hoe today i still like and have some respect ✌

Cherokeehp · Answer

I feel so many feelings towards my first love. There’s a lot of sadness and rage. But in some ways I’m thankful that I met him because I got to get my virginity out of the way, and the heartbreak forced me to focus on myself become a better person.

Agape93 · Answer

I absolutely love him and I always will :) he’s my dearest and best friend

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I have mixed feelings of resentment and love towards my ex. She fucked me over hard towards the end, but she was my first love. Most of the relationship was beautiful. Only the end was ugly. C'est la vie.

DeviloftheValleys · Answer

I don't know. Because I don't know who was my forst love. I don't know if I've loved at all. What is love?

Phoenix98 · Answer

As far as first genuine loves go she wasn't bad we for the most part had a good relationship, it just didn't work out in the end but we had a good breakup with no hard feelings.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

I've had girlfriends, but have never a "first love." Unless you count my guitars.

apollo3000 · Answer

The first girl. wman I was led to love - resentment toward my parents

blutwolfe · Answer

Resentment lol, even thinking about her makes me feel sick

EssenceOfLight · Answer

Disdain on her and anger on myself because I've been so blind. In last 10 years it faded away but my attitude didn't change.

legalboxers · Answer

she used me.. she lied to me. And I still hate her because she still ghosts me and causes me problems!

Gedaria · Answer

No it was great while it lasted... I wish I could see her now...

1truekhaleesi · Answer

No he was abusive and I'm happy to be alive

jack187625 · Answer

Indifference

Ripper_E · Answer

The first person I loved or my first girlfriend?

_DARKNESS_ · Answer

Neutral :) and ooh! Another arts person :D

Slim57 · Answer

Resent, cheaters disgust me

On_the_other_hand · Answer

Just regret.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Neither. ... and it was VERY long ago.

JosyJosy · Answer

Appreciation :)

jcnum10 · Answer

I appreciate them.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

No love, so far

Do you feel resentment or appreciation for your first love?

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