How do I friendzone a guy?

[Anonymous]

Everyone, girls and guys, please help me!
There’s this guy who has been giving very obvious signs that he likes me, and it is very certain that he does. His friends has told me as well, and apparently he is going to make me fall for him and get me to confess to him first. Unfortunately that is not happening, because I do not intend to be in a relationship with him or have feelings for him. And it’s driving me mad, because he is following me everywhere, always staring at me, and completely changes his attitude depending on whether I’m there or not, and I also feel like he’s invading my personal space and it’s making me uncomfortable.

The problem here, is that we are good friends. He and I are in the same circle of friends, and we sort of get along, more like forced to, because he is always next to me. I’ve been getting him into listening into my conversations with my friends about me not being interested in relationships so many times, but he still doesn’t give up. He’s also being very hostile and passive aggressive towards a guy friend I invited once to a party, whom I talked to, which made me very angry and fed up as well. Is it so wrong to talk to another guy other than him self? How self absorbed and selfish does he have to be?

Since he doesn’t plan to confess to me, I don’t have the opportunity to tell him that I’m not interested so that he stops stalking me. Please advise me on how I can tell him that I’m not interested in him without making things awkward and without ruining our friendship. Any response will be greatly appreciated.

(A reminder that I really like him as a friend, he’s such a gentleman, him and my friends get along well too. A lot of people has a crush on him because he’s a gentleman, good at academics, and good looking. But I just don’t feel attracted to him in anyway. He is not my type, and I feel bad because he is wasting time on me, and should turn his attention towards others who actually want to be in a relationship with him. )

[d1vineb0y]

you have to speak up, specifically to him. first and foremost. avoid telling him how you feel. you dont want to pour your feelings onto him. tell him you're not interested and stop (yes you shouldn't being saying stop) and move on. dont stay near him, dont look at him, dont interact with him. make it very obvious. as long as he doesn't see you you'd be fine but dont play hard to get. speak once and forever hold your peace. you should make new friends. keep yourself busy with a new crowd and dont give him attention. who knows.. maybe he'll stop. see, this is different because the guy is annoying and by doing this you could your relationship with him. usually the guy will understand and stop but i have a strong feeling he won't stop. if you are friends you wouldn't have to go this far by ignoring him. do what makes you happy. positive attitude goes a long way

he's not selfish (maybe a little) but more grandiose. i was like that too. it's the passion and love that he has for you yet maybe he could change for another girl buts so far it you. he wants you and wants your attention.. this means its not going to be a good relationship or long term. love is also giving the girl space

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your detailed reply, my friend said the exact same thing as you.
I have tried almost everything, even some of the things you mentioned. It’s not in my nature to be mean, and I hated it, it felt absolutely horrible but I had ignored him, avoided him as much as possible, and did not make any eye contact or even acknowledged he was there. Like you mentioned in your reply, he didn’t stop. I have some classes with him, and after class ends he’s waiting for me outside of the class. No matter what I did, he was always there, every single corner I took. I feel so trapped, like there’s no room for me to breathe. I actually did consider once, but changed my mind because again, like you said it would never be a successful long term relationship because it’s important to give space to each other. I’m trying to understand that he can’t help feeling that certain way, and he’s basically burning with passion. But there are limits to what I can handle.

You said that you were like that too, how did you overcome it? Were your feelings returned? If you prefer not to answer that’s completely fine. I thought that it might help me into understanding what he’s thinking and coming up with other ways to get him to tone it down a little.

[d1vineb0y]

i didn't overcome it but it was rejection. you cannot overcome your love for someone if it's true love. if he really liked or loved you, rejection would have hurt him bad and would knock him down for quite some time and he'd learn and understand. accordingly, nothing worked. tbh you can only do so much. the only way is to give time.

like i stated, it was like i liked her and wanted her to be my girlfriend but it didn't feel right so i wouldn't have progressed anyways and because of that, i could have moved on and he should too. its most likely sexual, emotional, and physical attraction. someome he can call girlfriend. it's still best to stay away. and plus, he doesn't plan on confessing. what im saying is that if rejection can't stop him, he's just doing stuff because you're hot

[Avicenna]

Tell him you just want to be friends and what you like about him as a person to soften the blow.

[Asker]

Hello, thanks for taking your time to reply. I considered that as well, but realised that he might cover it up by saying he never had feelings for me in the first place, if I tell him that first. He hasn’t said anything to me directly about how he feels, but I already know because his friends told me. He doesn’t plan on telling me until he is sure that I return his feelings. If I tell him that I only consider him as a friend, or anything related to things like that, he might bring up the trump card and say he never had feelings for me, hence avoiding the rejection and making me a fool for “assuming” that he likes me...

Also, I might be moving to another country next summer, should I wait for a few more months and bear with all this until I move? I won’t be seeing him again if I transfer. Would that hurt his feelings and make things worse?

[Avicenna]

Well, how he responds really is irrekevant here. What matters is that you communicate clearly with him.

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/7I99IkqsaP8

[In_Trance]

tell him you see him as a brother