Guys, My boyfriend didn’t want to answer the question straightforward what does he mean?

[Anonymous]

Ok so I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I told him that I caught up with my guy friend who I hadn’t spoken to in a while. My guy friend said that he would like to see me when he comes to town. This friend has a girlfriend of one year that he loves very much. I told my boyfriend this. He just told me the decision is mine. Now in a previous question I had asked something pertaining to this. He said that he has female friends but he doesn’t hang out with them. So when he said that I felt out of respect for my boyfriend I shouldn’t meet up with my friend one on one anymore. So I thought maybe he could come along and it be a 3 person hang out or a double date. He just said the decision was mine. He wouldn’t say what he preferred. What was he trying to tell me without actually telling me? What would you guys mean if you told your girlfriend this same thing?

Updates

+1 y

Now he has been cheated on by his ex of a couple years if that helps anything.

[Oboemaster27]

He's jealous and worried. It is okay to meet up with him one on one so long as you don't cheat on ur guy. He can hang out with his friends that are girls one on one too if he wants. It's up to him, but just because you're friends with someone of the opposite gender and hang out with them every once in a while doesn't mean that the two of you are romantically inclined toward each other

[Asker]

Great answer! I could never cheat on my guy and my friend loves his girlfriend dearly. I just didn’t get what my boyfriend meant when he said the decision is mine. He didn’t really answer as to what he prefers in terms of it being the 3 of us or the 4 of us.

[Oboemaster27]

I'm glad I could help shed a little light on the subject. I'm young and extremely new to stuff like this but I got good at giving advice on it because people have always asked me about it in my everyday life. I try to help where I can and I'm exceedingly happy that I was able to aid you in your search for answeres.

[Asker]

I appreciate it. One other thing, what did he mean when he said it’s my decision and why didn’t he answer about whether he wanted it to be the 3 of us or the 4 of us?

[Smirnoff23]

He is jealous you are friends with or talk to other guys

[Asker]

But he has female friends. I’ve told him that he’s who I want to be with and he’s my #1 guy. If I saw my friend it would be to catch up and hang out. Completely platonic.

[Smirnoff23]

The mind plays tricks some guys want you exclusive with no make friends probably can't handle knowing you have male friends as platonic as they are

[Asker]

Hmmm maybe you’re right and he said he didn’t want to talk about anymore, he just seemed like he felt some kind of way about it.

[Asker]

I don’t have to meet with this friend solo, I asked him if he would want to come along and it be the three of us or we could make it a double date. I mean I could’ve not asked him and did what I wanted to do but I respect and care about him too much to do that.

[Smirnoff23]

There is nothing wrong with girls having guy friends or guys having girl friends just some guys and girls can't handle it

[Asker]

We both have opposite sex friends, he doesn’t hang out with them. I was trying to see if he’d want to come along and he just said it’s my decision. Is that his way of saying no?

[Smirnoff23]

Personally I think it is his way of saying no... He might feel too jealous being there but staying away to me would make me feel worse

[Asker]

That’s what it sounds like to me, he’d rather I not see him at all or doesn’t want to be around him. I don’t want to push the question for fear of pissing him off.

[Smirnoff23]

You got to know where you stand so only way is to ask

[Asker]

I’ll do that

[In_Trance]

Come on... this is ridiculous

[Asker]

Well he was being vague and you didn’t have to answer

[Asker]

Vague as in didn’t give a straight answer

[In_Trance]

How would you feel if the roles were reversed? You ok with him being alone with another girl? You ok going along as a 3rd wheel (yes you'd be the 3rd).

[Asker]

Honestly no I wouldn’t want him alone with another girl. But I asked him if he wants to come along or make it a double date. I don’t have to be alone with this friend. He just seemed really touchy about it. I thought those two options were a great compromise. He wanted us to have a double date with his friend and girlfriend.

[In_Trance]

I think you're delusional.
He does too. The fact that you wouldn't want him alone with a girl but you're happy to be alone with a guy is everything that's wrong here. He wants to accept it, but he never will. Rightfully so.

[Asker]

Ok I didn’t say “Bae my friend wants to visit me when he comes to town, can I go?” I asked him would he want to come along so it’s THREE of us or make it a double date so that’s FOUR of us. What are you not understanding? What part of that sounds like I want to be alone with my friend. I asked him how he feels about that.

[In_Trance]

Good luck with this. You're in the wrong. Not appropriate. Don't believe me? Press your boyfriend harder for an answer. this is grounds for divorce

[Asker]

We’re not married clown, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. I was just asking a question since he wanted to be vague.

[In_Trance]

smh... take it figuratively