Guys, Not his physical type, what does that actually mean?

[Windowsun]

We've been together for 5 years with 4 kids ( 2 from his previous and 2 together) and are very happy. We work well together, are each other's best friend, communication with one another is healthy and sex is great. Overall, we have a beautiful relationship, except for this 1 thing.. I'm not his physical type. We've talked about this, and he says he finds me to be stunning and that he is very much attracted to me. I do believe this as he says so often and his actions back this up. He says he found me to be super attractive before knowing me ( we would see each other often as we worked together) and that the more he's gotten to know me over the years, the more attractive he finds me. He often tells me that I'm the most beautiful woman to him and to a certain extent, I believe him. I know emotions play a huge factor in this and when you are truly in love with someone, you feel this way. Now, I know he is going to find other woman attractive. He's not blind. I have no issues with this and don't mind my man looking at an attractive woman as she walks by. I will add that he is extremely respectful about this. My issue is, I recently found out that he has quite a thing for blondes who are slimmer. I'm not "slim" but I'm not overweight and care for my health. I'm his ideal physical build (smaller waist, big booty and thighs) however he seems to prefer more toned woman than I. It's hard to explain.. I don't except him to only find me attractive and as I said before, it never bothers me for a guy to look at other beautiful woman around, however it seems to bother me that those women are quite different than myself. I know it's normal for men to like variety, however it seems like all other woman he finds attractive outside of our relationship are that of a very similar look, one that I do not have. I try to find comfort in our relationship and his love for me but I can not seem to not feel hurt in some way by this.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aye look that's a tough situation to be in for sure. A couple thoughts on what "not his physical type" could mean:

- Even though he loves you and finds you attractive now, he might have certain physical features he's generally drawn to just based on past interests/what he finds visually appealing at first glance. Doesn't mean the attraction to you ain't real.

- Could be partly biological too - guys are programmed to want variety and be attracted to certain looks. Doesn't mean he don't think you're the finest.

- Emotional/personality connection with you overrules any type he thought he had before. Love and who you are together is way more important.

- We all gotta accept our partners are gonna notice other attractive people, as long as he's respectful about it like you said.

It makes sense it bothers you a bit deep down, but try not to take it personal. Dude chose YOU in the end and sounds like he shows you every day why he wants to be with you over any "type." Keep the communication open too so you both feel secure. As long as the love is real which it seems like it is, don't sweat what kinda girls catch his eye on a superficial level. You got what really matters!

[Windowsun]

Any idea how not to take it personal? It's a crazy concept but I always wanted to be with someone who I was close to their physical preferences as well as a great emotional connection. I almost feel somehow betrayed. I honestly don't even know if I would have furthered the relationship back then as crazy as I know that sounds. And Like I said, we've talked about it, and I feel like there's not much else to be said about it. He can't change what he finds mostly attractive, nor would I ask/ expect such a thing so it's just something I have to get over. Our relationship is amazing, and I truly love him, I'm just not sure how to let myself move past this.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, this is definitely a tough situation to be in. I can understand why you'd feel kinda betrayed finding that out, since most people want to feel like their partner is totally into them physically too, not just emotionally.

A few things that might help:

- Remember that attraction is complicated - just because blondes are his "type" on paper doesn't mean he can't be totally into you! Our tastes change once we get to know someone.

- Focus on how HE makes YOU feel - does he constantly tell you you're beautiful and treat you well? That matters way more than some blond "ideal."

- Try not to compare yourself to others. You're uniquely you and that's what he clearly loves. I'm sure he wouldn't trade you for a blonde even if that's his surface type.

- It might sound cheesy but have an honest heart-to-heart. Tell him exactly how finding that out made you feel, then really listen to his reassurance. Getting it all out there can help align you.

- Give it time. Feelings don't change overnight but staying positive in the relationship will help you believe his commitment.

Most importantly, remember your self-worth doesn't depend on one guy's superficial attractions! You're awesome with or without a guy. I know it hurts now but stay confident - you deserve a man who genuinely thinks you're the full package inside AND out. Hang in there!

[Avicenna]

No one meets some physical ideal, so I wouldn't worry about it.

[boobliker]

too fat or too skinny too tall too short or you talk funny hey it could be anything at all!!!

[Iron_Man]

you’re just gonna have to talk to him about it