The more you tell your mind to forget the more it will do the opposite thing. First thing is to stop trying to control your mind and just accept the memory. Two, realize that it’s a part of you for the moment but hang on to the hope that it won’t be like this forever. Three, occupy your mind with something else. Strive to create moments that you look forward to.
The memories will still be there but hopefully you’ll realize that you think less and less about the other person. Then you’ll have moments where you will think of the person but you don’t get upset or sad about not having them. Those are good and that’s okay to have. Don’t be hard on yourself for thinking about the other person, but let it go out of your mind as quickly as it came at these points. Be careful not to dwell in those thoughts again because there is a risk that the feelings come back. People often say “time heals all wounds.” This is the part that makes it easier with time. It’s all just a mental cleansing process. Just as you can’t learn a new language over night, it will take time to retrain your brain to get over that person. So there is hope.
Most Helpful Opinions
You gave me a thought.
I was in a ldr with a 20yo male. He broke up with me because he didn't want to seem like a pedopile nor does he wants to go to jail for dating me. I understand completely, it just hurts.
The thought you gave me: what if he gets a girlfriend when I'm in college and is planning on meeting him in a few years?
I'll be single for 8 or 9 years - maybe even a full decade.
I really don't want anyone else but him. If he forgets me and gets a girlfriend by that time, I'll feel even more depressed. Even though there may be other fishes in the sea, I'll just have to face the fact that I'm going to be single forever. I'd have suffered too much then.
I'm guessing you can try to break everything off with that person if you have any connections. You can hang out with friends and do stuff like that.
4 steps:
-You can't forget that person, you overthink
-You get angry
-You try to communicate with that person
-Depression time
-You accept it
Focus on other things: hobbies, courses, hangout with friends. You must distract yourself.
accept the reality you're in. you can't force things onto people. your best bet is to find a new hobby or activity to fill the emptiness that comes with moving on.
it will hurt but this is the time to think for yourself.
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You can hold the memories but what you can do is distract yourself with different projects. Like try new hobbies like reading, listening to new podcasts, video calling your friends, exercise through walks, listening to new music. You could try painting even or cooking something difficult, or even try planting a bonsai plant or gardening. The list of new things for you try is endless, distracting yourself is the healthy thing to do.
Cry, its okay to cry, cry as much as u fucking want, but dont do it forever. keep busy, start a netfilx series, find new hobbies and new interests, hang out with friends, have a joint🤷🏻♀️. But the best thing to do is let it all out, writing how u feel and how that person made u feel is a good way.
You're devaluing your own worth every second you're thinking how great they are and not thinking how much you have to offer all those great girls in the world who want to meet you. Don't give them that kinda power over you.
It is very hard, but you will move on. I don't know how, but you will. don't give up. I'm still trying to, and it's been two years
You can't. They're in your memories forever
Move on and find someone whom you can have.
Look for someone else
Date other women
Fuck someone else.
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