Do black people who are involved in romantic relationships with white people have any self-respect and integrity?

[TerminallyChill]

I'm a black man and my stance doesn't come from any sort of xenophobia or hate or notions of superiority or inferiority. I just don't think that any self respecting black people with integrity about themselves would go running into the arms of the generational oppressor for romantic relationships. Especially when you look at the reality of the fact that they thought so low of you that they denied you access to their genitals codified behind federal law, with the punishment of imprisonment and death yet you still want to run up under them like a little lap dog. It's sad to see man.

Yes

No

It's Complicated

Updates

+1 y

Please stop the mischaracterization. I never said that I disavow white people or that I'm against race mixing, I just think that in the specific context of white and black miscegenation that there is a lot of underlying trauma and dirt swept under the rug that makes me believe that a black person who chooses to partake in that behavior doesn't respect themselves or their ancestors and the struggles they fought and died through.

[Greendruid]

I get your point bro, you feeling a resentment towards european americans for something which happened in past, let me ask you, even if you hate them today, what you will gain? Its not that you can change what happened in past, but holding grudge against a new generation is like implementing north korean law of three generation punishment where if you commit crime your grandson will also go into jail,
I am from india, and we were ruled by a brutal oppresive regime of British empire. We do hold resentment against imperial British but that does not mean we can hate the current generation which has nothing to do with previous crimes of their ancestors (though i still hope if royal hags retun the stolen artifacts XD).

Also good and bad people exist in every race and every country, if you read biography of
Booker T washington, you will find various instances of his life where he was helped by random kind white people.

Amd if u today start hating people for what their ancestors did, i think its also xenobhobic and racist

[TerminallyChill]

I don't hate white people or practice prejudice or ill will towards them. Nor did I say that they are the same people of their ancestors but history and the passage of time has shown us that the majority continue the legacy, mentality and systems of polite oppression that their ancestors started. But I digress, even with that I don't hate white people, I just simply believe that a black person who can get aroused by the people that put his ancestors children in zoo exhibits and told them they weren't fully human has psychological problems

[Greendruid]

So what you actually want? What do you want to do, do you want to preach African americans to bring some kind of revolution? And even if you dont like the history, what you can actually do? will you force interracial couples to divorce and split?

ranting here will not help you buddy, better move on, preach your community to rise through the power of education, because thats what B. T washingron wished,

[TerminallyChill]

That is the plan.

[fireheart105]

You say it's not out of hate but yet you talk as though you have a strong feeling of hatred towards people of a certain color and speak like they all are like that and secretly wish to push those ideas. You seem like an intelligent man and I dont care if your black, white, brown, yellow, or red. Everyone ie going to be different and have different taste and I won't protest that you can't say something. I love that you share you opinion and question because I love discussions. I just wonder what is fueling this anger and wonder if your ok

[TerminallyChill]

I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed in the African-American community. We need to wake up

[Dreamy2020]

You shouldn't date someone based on color of their skin? You are the definition of a racist. No one deserved to be punished because of something their ancestors did. Human beings evolve and so does their knowledge. There is less racism now than it was before. But people like you make this progress hard.

[TerminallyChill]

In order:
Never said I'm against race mixing. The idea of not being romantically involved with black people being "punishment" for whites is insanely laughable. Human beings hardly evolve. There is less racism than before but.5% decrease doesn't impress me. And lol, it's not the systems, mentalities and vestiges of oppression that founding an entire nation on white supremacy that makes dismantling racism hard, it's little old me. Again, something that is insanely laughable.

[Dreamy2020]

Human beings do evolve. You clearly don't, that's an other issue. Your updates and comments doesn't help you. You are still a racist.

[TerminallyChill]

I'm not trying to save face here. I'm on an anonymous internet forum, what does it benefit me to hide my suggested racism? Based on the brazenness of this question alone don't you think if I was racist, I would just add that along? Human beings evolve a rates of millions of years, we just superficially came out against racism and slavery like 60 years ago and you're ballsy enough to call that evolution? Come on now.

Still can't tell me how white people are being "punished", harmed, mischaracterized or slandered by me at all though can you?

[nerdybutlazy]

Um I have not idea what you mean but a lot of people that I know in interracial relationships including myself are nothing but happy :) so maybe just respect that they love their partners

[TerminallyChill]

Are you black? If you are, did you grew up around conscious and intelligent blacks or were you mostly socialized around whites and token black people?

[nerdybutlazy]

Ummm my father is a professor and my mum has a masters so yes and I grew up in Africa and Canada so I got both experiences

[TerminallyChill]

Yeah. That explains it.

[nerdybutlazy]

umm what does that mean

[Oigit]

A opening sentence such as "I'm a black man and my stance doesn't come from any sort of xenophobia or hate or notions of superiority or inferiority." Is much like someone saying "Not to be an asshole" before proceeding to be an asshole. It does not change the fact that they are being an asshole and all it really does is double on the fact that they are being an asshole.

You really can't prefix a negative view or position on an issue like that and expect people to be ok with what you are about to say. When people feel they need add such a prefix to what they are about to say, its best to say nothing at all. Because it's better for people to wonder if you are an asshole, then leave them with no doubts that they are.

[TerminallyChill]

So are you going to address my critique or just ad hominem me?

[Oigit]

To be honest as disappointed in the African-American community as you are, I'm disappointing in humanity. Simply because people continue to engage in this tit for tat back and forth based on things like race, religion, sex and sexual orientation. We have been killing each other in mass since the start of recorded human history. Yet we continue to engage in this tit for tat back and forth while knowing how doing so can turn out. It isn't the African-American community that needs a wake up call. It's a large percentage of humanity that does. That percentage contains people of all groups. Be it the segment of family I cut of years ago. Or those that are still wearing blinders.

At this point I would love nothing more then pile all of the bodies of everyone that has died due to this back and fourth through out human history and force every living person to look at the pile. Because a massive shock like that might force people to take their blinders off and accept the harsh realities that come with it. Because that pile would be full of people off all races, religions, sex and sexual orientations. Backs all of this useless and self destructive tit for tat should have stopped many generations ago.

[TerminallyChill]

Well I can tell you that what I feel doesn't come from any tit for tat, nor could it ever seeing how my suggested tat of internet critique is obviously incomparable the primary tit of white supremacy. But I digress on that and will continue on to say, the only reason I feel the way I do is just a genuine gut feeling. I just don't see how it's psychologically normal to see the people who said you weren't fully a human being, who put the children of your ancestors in zoo exhibits, who deemed the idea of sex with you punishable by law and get aroused by them? A person who does that can't logically have any self respect.

[Oigit]

I can't understand a gut feeling around something that is rooted in the actions of people in the past. That is something that I have never been able to fully understand or accept. Because it can cause us to not see a path forward and if we do see it refuse to walk it. Also if everyone was to judge everyone else on the actions of people in the past. Because I honestly think you, myself and anyone else would be around today. Because humanity would have self destructed a long time ago.

Also I think often gut feelings are born out of what we are told and sometimes have beaten into our heads while we are growing up. Because it can feel like the people around us demand that we accept view points, feelings and simply accept that "it is the way it is" without questioning it. It can feel like we are not supposed to question things or think for ourselves. I know that one of the main reasons I was the black sheep of my family growing up and still am is because I questioned a lot of what I was being told and refused to accept what I was told to.

[TerminallyChill]

It's all a matter of viewpoint. White people love to bring out the "it's in the past" as if we are talking about ancient history. MLK was just assassinated at the start of the 70s. But that just further serves my point of the rotten core of white consciousness, you can't even face the reality of what was done, so much so you guys want to pretend it was thousands of years ago, when we all have grandparents who can tell you first hand about violating federal law just based on having black skin.

[Oigit]

Viewpoints on many things are shaped by the people around us during our early years. It can be a tough subject to think and/or talk about because it can call a lot of our viewpoints into question. It can also change how we think and feel about those that where around us during our development years. This is one of many aspects of things such as race relations much more complicated then many people think they are.

In a way our view points and opinions a lot of the time are based on things that barley scratch the surface on an issue. One of the main reasons that people can be unwilling to go past the surface level is because doing so can challenge their perceived norm. Norm that we can grow comfortable in despite them causing issues for ourselves and possibly others. It can leave us with a thought processes that is a lot like staying in our worm conferrable bed despite the fire alarms in our place going of. We have become so comfortable with our perceived norm that we become unwilling to let go of it no matter what is going on around us. It's an issue that is not exclusive to ant group. Because it's a human issue. Just like or humanity and the humanity of others, it comes before any group.

[TerminallyChill]

I don't know if you're trying to play the parabolic wise old man role or what but while your commentary is insightful, it doesn't apply to me. I've come to the stance I have AFTER leaving my ideological and philosophical comfort zone. I was born in the West and I'm a human being so ofc my formative years were spent being a pupil of White Western mental colonization just like everybody else. You think I'm ignorant now but it's after I was awoken to the real disgusting and putrid world around me, after the field research that I shed my past ignorance, which you somehow think is a state of enlightenment. I dropped that rose colored Utopian mentality as soon as I realized what it was. You're 12 years my elder and you still posses it.

[Oigit]

Rose collared glasses? It's more like hoping that humanity can restore some level of hope in me so that I don't continue to hope that we get whipped out by a natural disaster, before we have a chance to self destruct due or our self destructive nature. I'm well aware of how screwed up we are and I learned how screwed up we can be when I was kidnapped and molested at the age of 6. I also see how quick people are to blame another group for everything, so they don't have to look in the mirror and accept them themselves and their group have contributed to our self destructive nature as a species.

[TerminallyChill]

And what has the African-American done that "contributes to self destructive behavior of humanity" in comparison to his white counterpart?

[Oigit]

Ok lets just issue everyone weapons, setup the worlds nuclear arsenal to carpet bomb every major metropolis from one end of the earth to the other. Lets just get it over with. Because the tit for tat finger pointing isn't going to stop tell humanity is no more. So all this trying to move humanity out of the past and into a future worth living in is doing is simply avoiding the inevitable. It also funny as hell that people are still left wondering why God isn't here and Jesus has not come back. Because when you are willing to look at our species as a whole, its pretty hard to not ask yourself why they would want to be here with us.

[Avicenna]

Because the white people getting into the relationships obviously aren’t „generational oppressors“.

Let me ask you this- how would you feel about a white person saying whites should not get into relationships with blacks because whites are much more likely to be the victim of a violent crime committed by blacks than vice versa? You’d denounce them as racist, right?

[TerminallyChill]

No. I wouldn't really care. I'm not in the business of policing the thoughts of whites, in fact the matters and concerns of white people are of no interest to me. You can think whatever you want as long as you aren't perpetuating harm to anyone. I'm not even opposed to separation as integration hasn't done one positive thing for the American black community

[Zeus_66]

What's even more sad is that people like you look at the world through a lense based on race first. Your mind and heart are filled with personal transgression. You cannot be helped unless you choose to be just you. Can the world be a tough place? Yes. Do we still have problems with race? Yes. But if you want to change that, start with what you can control; yourself.

[TerminallyChill]

I don't care about changing the hearts and minds of racists. So I don't to change anything, the only thing I care about are the matters, affairs and interests of African people.

[TerminallyChill]

Let me be clear, Im not in the business of policing the thoughts of white people, based on history and trends of society, I expect racism from that group but I couldn't care less about white consciousnes and white people. Be as racist as you want, it's your right.

[Zeus_66]

You have a sad heart. I feel sorry for you. I honestly do. Let that hate go. Or you'll just die a grumpy old man.

[Zeus_66]

You seem way too smart and intelligent to be so one sided. Do yourself a favor and give yourself some more self respect. You're better than that.

[TerminallyChill]

I was born a grumpy old man but I never said I hated white people, that's you just putting words in my mouth filling in the blanks because you don't want to process all the information I've littered throughout

[Zeus_66]

Fine. I'll appease. Yes, black people who date white people have no self respect or integrity. They have gone all kinds of Uncle Tom, all designed just to get a piece of white privilege and piss people like you off. They ain't black enough. If they were, everybody would be black for them, all day long. Black power is where it's at. And if these folks want to get their self respect and integrity back, they better prove it by killing the white people they date.

Happy?

[Zeus_66]

I'm really disappointed in myself because I apparently gave you too much credit for being intelligent. I "put words in your mouth" but you expect me to be racist towards you because of the color of my skin. You sir are by definition, a racist. And you're ridiculous. Get off your high horse and go see the the world. Your narrowed minded bullshit is not welcome by any normal person, regardless of their skin color.

[TerminallyChill]

You're a grown man

[TerminallyChill]

You should act like one bro

[Liam_Hayden]

Dude, you're a bigot blaming people who were not even alive for laws that they never supported simply because of their skin color., You are no different than the Klan, judging based upon the color of their skin rather than by the content of their character.

[TerminallyChill]

I'm no different from the Klan. When have I ended white people's lives for being the victims of human trafficking? When I have burned down white financial centers or lynched people or lobbied the government to write policy in favor of legal discrimination against whites. Come on man, that's a very sloppy statement to make. And a paradoxical one as well because it's so absurd and surreal to see such an incomparable comparison.

[Archerer]

“I'm a black man and my stance doesn't come from any sort of xenophobia or hate or notions of superiority or inferiority.“

When I hear sentences like this I automatically assume you are a racist xenophobic white man.

[TerminallyChill]

I think that's more of a you problem then. I'm not conservative as that's for the low IQ people among us but I guess what they say really is true. It's so shocking when a black person goes against white liberal orthodoxy, so much so you automatically assume that I'm white even though my stance stems from Pan-African Nationalism, not white American conservativism.

[Archerer]

Hmm, no... it's not a me problem, in fact, it's not a problem at all. It's just a psychological reality that people who say things like that are usually the exact opposite of what they are saying. I'm not saying you ARE a white man, but you sure sound like a racist xenophobic white man if I've ever heard one. Like those church pastures who speak out against homosexuals but get caught sucking a male prostitutes dick in their car by reporters. Happens all the time. No worries man, it's just you have a lot of buried shit in your mind that comes out in denial.

[TerminallyChill]

I'm curious. Since that's what you believe, is it your default opinion that all black people are just head over heels for whites then? You can't honestly say that you don't know that there's black people out here like myself who don't have the fondest opinion of whites. If you need it in layman's terms, "Pan-African Nationalism" is a synonym for Black Separatist.

[Archerer]

How in the hell did you come to that conclusion?

No, I don't think that at all, and I don't see how you could gather that I would think that from what I said. I said you sound racist. And you do. And you aren't showing me otherwise lol

[TerminallyChill]

I said that because that has to be the only reason a white American would pretend as if there are black people out there with legitimate gripes against white supremacy. You guys like to pretend it's all ancient history but I have grandparents who used to be in violation of Federal Law for just existing (in spaces it was deeemd by whites that they shouldn't

[TerminallyChill]

*as if there aren't

[Archerer]

I’m not white or American

[TerminallyChill]

Then why do you have such a vested interest in being the guard dog of white Americans? Weird

[Archerer]

I think you are projecting

[TerminallyChill]

How would I be projecting my suggested need to be a guard dog for white supremacy, when I'm a black separatist?

[Archerer]

"Psychological projection is a defense mechanism in which the ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities by denying their existence in themselves by attributing them to others"

[TerminallyChill]

What an I'm denying within myself or projecting unto others? I'm not a secret white supremist and I can't project someting unto someone that I'm not capable of producing.

[Archerer]

Your racism

[TerminallyChill]

I'm not racist, Im just a reaction to a people brutally enduring centuries of it. You funnily enough still can't quote any slander, bigotry or mischaracterization based on race from me.

[coolhandroo]

Well that was a piece of stupidity that I hope the black community has the self respect to call you out on it. You're an embarassing representation of your race.

[TerminallyChill]

I apologize for having integrity and not being a willing tool of white supremacy

[coolhandroo]

Your definition of integrity is so ignorant and racist maybe you should talk to the White supremacist because you have a lot in common. The only difference is your favorite color but your common stupidity more than makes up for that. I'm glad you're staying away from white women but do the world a favor and cut your dick off and stay away from the black girls too

[TerminallyChill]

Races don't own concepts or the idea of separation. And I'm smarter than you bro, come on. Just because you associate certain beliefs with retrograde mentality doesn't make it true.

[coolhandroo]

Right. You are very intelligent. I mean your ideas are trash your temper is a stereotype your evidence is weak but you did say how very smart you are and one angry black mans opinion must be right.

[TerminallyChill]

32 year old man with the grammar of a child, but I'm stupid? Yikes.

[coolhandroo]

Your strongest attack has been at the size of my words. We're not playing scrabble. Your ideas and attempts at jabs are retarded but I've come to expect that our of your mouth, Followed by your dad's dick.

[TerminallyChill]

32 year old man still making mom and dad jokes. Yikes

[Anonymous]

And we found the racist.. Im a black man my self, and your stance is why there is so much division in this country. And yes, black people can be racist,

[Opinion Owner]

@ your update, A racist is still racist. And trust me on this, at my age i have faced far more racism than you have.

[TerminallyChill]

I'm under on illusions that blacks can't be racist. But I'm not partaking in racism. I haven't denoted a hatred, superiority complex, or single sliver of slander towards whites. Please quote me.

[TerminallyChill]

And you sound mentally colonized. The reason we have so much division in this country is due to the white capitalist cultural hegemony that is crux of this country. Imagine trying to blame some random on the internet for a problem that's been going on 400+ years before I was a thought.

[Opinion Owner]

"And you sound mentally colonized. " and you lost me right there.. Take your critical race theory degree elsewhere. and if you have a college degree, get your money back. Capitalism has existed far longer than the US. Racism existed prior to the US. This country did not invent it. In any case believe what ever you wish how ever stupid it is.

[Opinion Owner]

you do understand that racial slurs can get your account canceled here right? Perhaps you should grow up and stop that.

[Anonymous]

Fortunately many people of a variety of colours choose to see the world without your negative political slant and maintain successful relationships and families together blissfully unaware of how others think they should feel about their partners.

[Anonymous]

People are individuals and don’t lump together what one race has done in the past to the person they are with no matter what race they are

[TerminallyChill]

Nah. I can only work within the arbitrary realities of what this world gives me. I'm judged as a gangbanger or thug or unintelligent because of my race, so I have to assume the same of others

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah well not everyone judges people like that or thinks that way, I usually don’t assume the worst with people

[TerminallyChill]

Not everyone. But most. It's an every man for himself world and as much as I wish it wasn't, you have to play by the rules

[havingfun101]

[Implies that black people have integrity] 🤣

[MountAverage]

You remind me of Dean Browning.

[TerminallyChill]

I'm not conservative as that's for the low IQ people among us but I guess what they say really is true. It's so shocking when a black person goes against white liberal orthodoxy, so much so you automatically assume that I'm white even though my stance stems from a Pan-African Nationalist self-deterministic outlook, not white American conservativism.

[MountAverage]

Yeah, whatever dude. Whatever you really are, who knows. But either way, one thing is for sure - you're one fucked up scumbag.

You may shut the fuck up now, you racist piece of shit.

[msc545]

You do realize this is reverse racism, right?

[TerminallyChill]

It's not racism at all. Show me one instance of me mischaracterizing or showing bigotry towards whites. The only critique made was of my own race.

[msc545]

Calling present-day whites "the generational oppressor" is a bit marginal but I see your point.

[TerminallyChill]

It may well be from your point of view but from an objective outlook, it's cold hard facts.

[Texaskid1]

Maybe they want to make swirly babies.

[heymynameisMatt]

Racist. 🙄

[TerminallyChill]

I'm racist because I think it's not normal to be sexually aroused by the people who promised me death and/or imprisonment for being sexually aroused by them. How does that work?

[heymynameisMatt]

My racist comment was kind of satirical. But actually YES you are racist. And completely insane to relate the past to modern times regarding sexual preference. STOP feeling sorry for yourself, look at all humans equally!! YOU SHOULD WANT TO BANG PEOPLE OF ALL COLORS!!!
It's our SOUL that matters, not our skin Bruh.

[TerminallyChill]

Why do you automatically have to characterize me as "feeling sorry for myself"? It has nothing to do with self pity, I just don't logically see how a white person is attractive to you if you are African-American unless you are mentally conditioned to Western Society.

[TerminallyChill]

Let me be clear. I never said to dislike or hate white people and I'm not against miscegenation, the act or function of it doesn't rustle my jimmies at all, I just have critique for the psychological aspect of it. I have plenty of white acquaintances and people I've learned life lessons from and had good experiences with, I just wouldn't look to them for romantic relations is the only thing I'm saying

[heymynameisMatt]

I 100% get what your saying. After being married to a girl of Caribbean decent for almost 20 years, who was a huge bitch, I can't fathom dating even the lightest of dark skinned girls, solely because they remind me of her. Kind of the same thing you're saying to an extent. Skin color can be an immediate trigger for a turn off.
BUT the way you worded your post DOES sound a bit racist Lol. NOT to me but I can see how it would to other people. And bear with my comments I'm a little quick on the trigger lately with all the BS going on with race relations rn.

[TerminallyChill]

Well. Kudos to you for having a cooler head and not being so reactionary.

[reixun]

lmaoooooooooo

[CassieCape]

Dude we are in 2020.

[TerminallyChill]

Why do people say that as if being in 2020 means all of history now means nothing and we're acting on a clean slate. It doesn't work that way. Historicism is the most basic element of humanity; the social and cultural phenomena of the past are directly responsible (and has to be rectified) for the present and future.

[CassieCape]

Nope.

[TerminallyChill]

You'll learn when you're older. You're still a naive kid

[Dchrls78104]

Get out more.