Do non-white people feel inferior to their white partners?

[Anonymous]

This is a question aimed at non-whites (can be black, hispanic, Asian, Indian etc.) who have a white partner, but anyone can answer.
Since the media portrays white people as 'superior' and the 'Universal Standard' of good looks (fuck the media), do you ever feel sometimes that you're inferior to your partner? And whites, have you ever felt that your non-white partner was 'lesser' than you?

As a non-white man, I never approach white women due to these reasons:
1) Whites usually date within their own race due to the supposed superiority of the race.
2) I would constantly feel inferior, so a relationship with a white woman can probably never work for me.

[BuchitaBuchys]

I've never dated a white person, not because I wasn't interested, I've asked a few out. But they weren't. And the ones into me, I wasn't into them.

I have felt inferior before, but it's because the way that fellow Hispanic and black men put them on a pedestal. So it's hard not to feel like they consider you second rate because so many do.
"A white girl with a blackgirl/Latina booty" is like the "prize" of the ghetto. Ultimate status symbol. Which is why even when the media did that "Kylie Jenner brings big lip craze!" "Kim K/Iggy Azalea/Jen Selter put big butts on the map", it's like hold on, we've had these features for years, while not being exclusive to us, is more common. Just like blonde hair isn't exclusive to white women but more common to them. Why are they beautiful now because white women have them?

But it's silly to feel that way because of our skin. I do understand what you mean though.

[Asker]

You seem to have captured how I feel very accurately here! I live in a neighbourhood which is predominantly white, so it's like I hardly have any non-white options. But then again, since the white women here have lots of white men to choose I don't think they'll choose to date me over them.

[Elizabeth2289]

My boyfriend is the whitest guy ever! haha he even agrees! But no I do not feel inferior to him because he is white... not at all, not even the slightest. We are equals and thays why im with him. If you feel inferior to your partner because they are white and your not, its because of many insecurities which you should not have, feeling that way actually gives the white people who are racist more power because you are agreeing that you are less and that they are better then you. Interracial relationships are fantastic and many many white men and women date outside their race. Dating outside my race has opened my eyes and allowed me to experience amazing things and amazing love. I live in the whitest place in Canada and tons of white people date outside their race here. Im sure if you opened your mind and shiw some confidence, would find many lovely white women who would be happy to be with you.

[Asker]

Thanks for detailed answer! I don't know if white women would even give me a chance, though. I'll never know unless I try!

Guess I'm just a victim of stupid media, which always projects whites as the superior race of people.

[Elizabeth2289]

No problem! Im sure they will once ull be surprised. And if a few do reject you then who cares, they arnt worth ur time anyways.. just dont give up.

Yea in the past I once was a victim of the media but we have to fight against them and show them they are wrong and that they won't be the ones thinking for us!

[Elizabeth2289]

**im sure they will once you try

[BambooforPanda]

I find that everyone for the most part dates within their own race, white or not. I've always thought it was because people tend to date and be attracted to people who look similar to themselves. I feel a fair full disclosure here is that I'm white, but I don't see that it should matter.

I've slept with non-white guys and my current and only boyfriend is half white and half Lebanese.

Media doesn't just make people of other races feel inferior, it makes anyone who doesn't fit the impossible standards of beauty feel inferior, of which being white is only one aspect.

I've learned it's a feeling worth ignoring, as people are rarely that mindlessly shallow and often no one expects anyone but themselves to live up to that insane beauty standard. The media's portrayal that there even is a universal beauty standard is totally disgusting to me.

[Asker]

Very well put! But like you said, being white takes care of a big part of fitting into media's beauty stereotypes.

[Amanda2]

I have dated one black man and two white men, and I never felt inferior in the relationship. My first relationship with a white partner, was a different experience, he was very rich and the experience was surreal. But I felt awkward in some of the situation because they were just so different to me. My most current relationship with a white guy, we done more normal stuff, and so I feel less out of place. The only time I feel a bit weird is when people keep staring us down, and more so when I am walking by myself and people are whispering or gossiping, her boyfriend is white. To sum it up, you can and should date whoever you are attracted to, regardless of race and color. The relationship is no different.

[Amanda2]

I live on an island, its isn't something people see frequently. Off late it also seems like I only date white guys, but the population at my university is 80% white, and I spend most of my time there, so that explains it

[FakeName123]

"1) Whites usually date within their own race due to the supposed superiority of the race."

Literally every single ethnicity prefers to date among themselves. It's just that in a majorily white country the minorities don't have as much possibilities to choose. Nothing to do with supposed superiority. There are tons of dating statistics proving that out there.

For example: blog.okcupid.com/.../

[Asker]

Insightful!

[FakeName123]

You are welcome. Yes, there are biased people out there - but really, its not all racism. You just make your own life miserable when seeing discrimination at every opportunity when it not always is.

Personally I think people just are more open towards dating people who appear similar to them for the hope that it is more likely to work out. Skin obviously is one of the most differentiating things to see right away.

[Asker]

I too belong to the minority around here, and most people are whites. So I'm kinda out of dating options.

[FakeName123]

Life can be unfair at times. We all have our own fair share of advantages and disadvantages and a lot of trade-offs. It's about what you make out of it. Think positively about it - if a girl dates you then she is more likely to be interested in you than just being superficial about it.

[NedfromtheNed]

Maybe you need to look deeper into this feeling of yours.
Why is it that you feel inferior? Dig deeper, and im sure you will find something surprising.

[Asker]

I have looked deeper, it's just that white people seem to be so desired everywhere and held to standards of good looks globally, so I don't see any reason why a white woman would date me when she has so many white guys to choose from. I don't have much of a choice, because I live in a white-dominated area.

[NedfromtheNed]

Maybe it has more to do with your own self confidence. Maybe your lack of self confidence has been converted into a feeling of inferiority to white people.

[chintita]

wow, no. i doubt it. an inferiority complex isn't something naturally in most people, you should unlearn that behavior before it comes back to bite you in the ass. stop being racist against yourself and you'll realize most people aren't going to be racist against you (unless their stupid raicists, but then that just means their stupid and assholes)

[Asker]

Thank you! :)

[kcurioistyk]

I'm a white women and personally (not romantically) but when I'm around non whites It sometimes makes me feel more inferior because many of them love their culture and seem to find happiness in their own communities and love their culture, whereas I don't really have anything to give on that front.

[chintita]

white people can have a culture too, you should relearn British culture or where ever you're from

[Asker]

Never heard of a white person feeling inferior. And what is this culture you talk of? Whites have their own culture too.

[kcurioistyk]

I'm from Australia, so of course we have our own culture there, but we don't have a culture specific to white people. Maybe its different for people who know their heritage but my parents have lived here their whole lives also so we feel no ties to any ancestral place. For us, its more like any race can join in with the Australian culture, but then if a white person shows any interest into say Asian foods or whatever, they are accused of fetishizing something or only liking it because its "hipster" or whatever. I know quite a few boys at my college for example who I've heard put down white woman numerous times for being taller and having more sexual partners than girls in their culture.

[RachelBrigs]

I really really really hope not because that's super sad if anyone feels that way.

I don't actually prefer to date within my race by the way, as I have no preference. I'm completely open to someone of any race

[Asker]

Wowowow! Amazing! I just hope more white people are like you, that is not being averse to date inter-racially. I stay in a white-dominated neighbourhood, and being a non-white, I have to either date whites or stay single. And I'm not really sure white women here would prefer to date me, since there is no dearth of white men for them.

[justbanANNAz]

dont you think that if they felt inferior, they wouldn't be dating them?

[This_is_my_username]

amen! see she speaks the truth!! **claps**

[justbanANNAz]

@This_is_my_username hah ur too cute xx

[Asker]

Good point! I just don't know hoe to stop feeling inferior, though. I stay in a predominantly white neighbourhood, and I'm out of dating options here, apart from white women.

[justbanANNAz]

u do know that a lot, and i mean A LOT of white women are into darker guys right? besides, if a white woman is giving u the vibes that she finds u inferior, u best not be getting any kind of attracted to that bitch.

[Asker]

I 'hear' of some white women being attracted to darker men, but I haven't really seen any couple around here where the woman was white and the man was non-white. But then again, there are very few non-whites around here, so I don't know.

[justbanANNAz]

well it makes sense since wherever u are isn't that culturally diverse. in my experience, i've seen couples like that a lot and it's great. they're very happy.

[Asker]

Oh wow, really? where do you stay, if you don't mind me asking? Or rather, in which country/city have you seen such couples where the woman is white and the man is non-white?

[justbanANNAz]

i live in Australia, which is one of the most multicultural nations in the world. yeah man i see it all the time, and the other way around.

[Asker]

Good to know that! I stay in New Zealand, and I do hear of white Aussies dating inter-racially.. It doesn't happen too much around where I live, though.

[Azara]

Not necessarily. Don't women supposedly date men they feel are stronger smarter more competent? At least that's the stereotype. Which is all anyone can offer when trying to guess about millions of people.

[justbanANNAz]

@Azara like u said, that's the stereotype. i dont see why appearance would make a difference to his strengths, smarts and competance.

[justbanANNAz]

competence*

[DodgersGM]

I've dated non-white women, and I can tell you for a fact that none of them ever felt inferior.

I mean, dear God; if my partner ever felt that way regardless of the situation, I'd feel terrible.

[Asker]

I'm beginning to think that my insecurities about my race may be unfounded, but then I just can't seem to approach white women, due to the assumption of them turning me down because of my race. I live in a white-dominated neighbourhood, so I don't see why white women would pick me, when they have dozen of white men at their disposal.

[DodgersGM]

Honestly, it's possible that they might do just that. You never know.

All of us -- yourself, women, other dudes -- have been clobbered with media messages that whiteness is preferable. Luckily, some people are able to look past that B. S., but not everybody is equipped/wanting to do so.

[Amanda2]

You have lovely eyes

[DodgersGM]

@Amanda2 Thank you :)

[abundantlyrich]

I like to think when people really think this low... its because they have anxiety blown up 2000 x worse about their issues or they dont have other interests in life that's greater than pointing fingers on another race for their perceived probs

[cavmanier]

What race are you? I've never thought of myself as being superior as a white person 😶 I don't see white people or girls as superior.

[Asker]

I'm an Indian living in New Zealand, since the last 7 years.

[Cmasterson]

No, can't say I do feel this way at all. I actually think we're both pretty much equal and I've never felt inferior

[Asker]

Glad that you feel equal! Happy for you! 😊

[RachelBrigs]

May I ask what your ethnicity is? I've been curious lol. You're *very* pretty by the way

[Cmasterson]

@RachelBrigs Chinese, vietnamese, Spanish and scottish ;) Thank you xxx

[rjroy3]

Never once felt that way lol, but I have high self esteem

[Asker]

Haha, good! I'm actually a victim of the media which proclaims whites to be superior.

[Azara]

I'm " white". I don't find white skin attractive. I have never been attracted to a white guy. I especially can't imagine having sex with a pink dick.

[Kylesar]

Why in the blue hell would I date someone I feel inferior to?

I either wouldn't have the courage to approach her in the first place or I would hate her for supposedly being superior

This question seems to be based in personal insecurities

[Izzex3]

Nope.
But one if my close friends is Filipino and she used to be super insecure because her white boyfriend's ex was white.

[iFarted]

Nope, cause in the end we're all human. The color of our skin makes no difference.

[Asker]

Good to know you believe in this! I believe it too, but the society says otherwise.

[TheFlak36]

Tell me how the media portrays white people as superior?

[dev765]

Some probably do but I don't feel inferior to another human being.

[Humping_Tornadoes]

So, do you have an inferiority complex?

[Asker]

Yes, but ONLY with respect to white people.

[Humping_Tornadoes]

No need to, man. People generally prefer to date within their own race, it doesn't mean they feel superior. It's kind of... people want to be reminded of their grandparents, or an specific close friend of the family, or any other positive influential figure to them, and generally that will be people of their own race. Even when having kids, people would prefer physically a child that will remind them of themselves, or their parents.

I'm pretty sure there are other reasons for this outside of "feeling superior".

[Asker]

If people prefer to date within their race? What am I supposed to do? I live in a white-dominated neighbourhood, and I don't have much of a choice. But why would any white woman choose to date me, when she has a plethora of white men to choose from, anyway? :(

[Humping_Tornadoes]

Nothing. It's better to not actively seek for partners anyways, and something great may come along. You may know a person with your same ethnic background or same race, or a white person willing to date outside of their race. It may or may not happen, but that's how it works. The majority of people don't match you and your views, and don't have good chemistry with you, just a few out there that are worth the shot. Just be patient and get this fucking "white people are superior" nonsense out of your head.

[Walls_and_Doors]

No. I have never even considered this.

[Asker]

Are you white or non-white, if you don't mind me asking? And have you NEVER felt this way?

[Walls_and_Doors]

Non- and no.

[Anonymous]

Sounds good

[Lokiion]

No not at all

[Prince_teddy4u]

Hell No.