Why does my boyfriend always act weird when I talk about sex?

[Anonymous]

So long story short, my boyfriend and I been together for almost 2 years. Our sex life is consistent we have sex when we see one another which is once a week. I’ve complained about our sex over time and it took its toll on him to the point where he said he’s always wondering if it’s good enough for me. We are young and still live with one another parents. Since the beginning he wasn’t one to be like “ oh yeah ima stick my blah in you” never been the type he did once and that was during the lockdown and it was through text. When we are on the phone I bring up sex sometimes like if he misses fucking me or something and he will say yeah and if I go into detail or ask of a more open question where it’s not yes or no he will be like “ the walls are thin I don’t want my mom to hear” that’s what he always says by the way. When I sleep over he freaks over his mom hearing us do anything. He didn’t even wanna have sex we did it once she left and he was still on edge. Tonight while we were on the phone I brought up something I wanted to try new (something he wanted to try awhile ago but I shut down) and he was like oh yeah I don't know maybe it’s either a yes or no and I said well I’m bringing it up asking how you feel. And he was like I don’t wanna talk about that rigit now babe. Then he texted me while we were on the phone and said “it’s super quiet (which it was, it’s late) and I don’t wanna have that convo about that right now” is this like normal for dudes? I mean he doesn’t like sexting or phone sex either. Loves my nudes has a gallery of it in his phone, very affectionate with me but seems to be like that when I bring up sexual things. Why is this?

[RemoErdosain]

It sounds to me like you have the answer right there: He lives with his family, and can't have that kind of conversation with them around. Do you know what kind of people they are? They might be more controlling than you think. Also, what exactly did you complain about when it comes to sex? Sexting and having phone sex seem pretty stupid things to do when you already fuck once a week, if you ask me. I have done my fair share of sexting and phone sex, but I was in a long distance relationship, so it was in some way justified. If I could fuck once a week, I don't think phone sex would do anything for me, so I totally understand it if it doesn't do anything for him either. Nudes are a different thing

[Asker]

Well they are jehova witnesses, he says walls are thin. When I complain about sex I mean I have said I feel he should initiate more and he would and then I would say do you really want to have sex! Doesn’t seem like it so stuff like that and he would say stop questioning me it’s killing the vibe

[RemoErdosain]

Why would you say "do you really want to have sex?" when he's initiating? Was he initiating in a "poor way" or something? And yes, I thought they might be controlling. That's definitely the reason he won't talk about it

[Asker]

I never had a problem with his initiating or his face expressions until my friend made me feel insecure about it and I’ve dwelled on it. And he just gets irritated

[RemoErdosain]

Your friend sounds terrible, bringing drama into your relationship for no reason. That being said, what happens in the bedroom should stay between the two of you, in my opinion. It sounds like you're telling your friends about it. I wouldn't be happy if my partner did that, and I know many do it

[Mikelaughs]

Sounds like extreme shyness!
There are a few other issues.
Hit me up if you want to talk about it

[snowstormcroissant]

He might not like to talk about sex. Most guy are able to talk about with their partners. You can ask him why he doesn’t like talking about it

[Asker]

We have a hard time recently as a couple on my part I was being toxic and always finding problems where there is none especially with our sex life so that could be a one reason he doesn’t. We’re doing a lot better now but it’s gonna take awhile to go back to normal

[snowstormcroissant]

Have you tried bringing sex topics before or after sex?

[Asker]

After sex usually.

[snowstormcroissant]

is more generally or more detailed when you talk about it

[Asker]

He’s more insecure if I bring up something detailed but he can talk about anything in general when we are together