Warned off him by his friend?

[Anonymous]

So I met a guy (X)that I like the other weekend, and we have been getting on well, and kissed several times, and I'm going out with him this weekend. I was talking to his best friend the other night, and he said that I should be careful as Guy X was a it "naughty". He wouldn't elaborate on that, just said I was a nice girl and he didn't want to see me get hurt. Should I listen to him? He wouldn't elaborate any further. But seeing as his friend ( and a nice guy) I'm not sure what to make of it - does it mean he's a cheater or something?

[Tamikaze]

Well, all you can do is beware. If you are looking for a guy who will date you and become a boyfriend, just make sure to let this guy know early on that you don't believe in sex outside a committed relationship and then stick to your words. If he tries to get you alone at his place or pushes for sex before you two have developed an emotional connection and before he asks you to be his girlfriend, you will know what his friend meant.

Now, if all you want is a fling you have nothing to worry about. I am not a fan of flings because most girls enter them secretly hoping they turn into something more and then getting hurt when they don't. I prefer to spend my time and my sexuality with someone who actually cares about me and is connected to me, but that is your choice. Good luck!

[Phoenix52]

she spoke what I was thinking. +1

[Asailum]

i agree with the beware.. but the "dont believe in sex outside a committed relationship" part is complete bull. casual sex is the norm, and if you hold off "putting out" untill a guy commits, your going to only get those desperate overly nice guys who would jump through any hoop you gave them. Have sex when you feel like it and think for yourself instead, there is no "right" time for it.

[Tamikaze]

Asailum, I could not disagree more. If you are in the market for casual sex, go for it. But, a woman should be honest with herself about what she wants before having sex. I have seen too many times where a woman has casual sex, gets attached and then gets the bad surprise that the guy never saw anything more than that with her. If you want a relationship, focus on what relationships are about, which is an emotional connection, not sex. I personally think casual sex is a snooze.

[Tamikaze]

Also, this is not about "putting out" as you so eloquently refer to it, or about withholding sex to get a guy to be with you. This is about honesty. If I want a relationship I should be honest with a guy rather than have him waste his time trying to get me into a casual sexual deal that I have no interest in.

[gummybear888]

you got to learn how to read people. I learnt that and things have not been a problem ever since.

yes I can listen to people talk about other people but at the end of the day I'm the judge of that.

if the new guy treats you well and he is what you want and you know what you want, then go for it.

is he a cheater or something?

that question shows that you need to learn more about him. to me it's a red flag you definitely need to get to a little more background on this new guy. be ware and don't do what you don't want to do. obviously, investigate a bit more by maybe even learning more about his friends and what people have to say about him.

[Redredrose]

Well, the guy warning you either has feelings for you and is jealous and/or is in fact warning you about him. I've been in the same situation before. The guy warned me about a guy that ended up being a jerk afterall. I asked my guy friend why he couldn't flat out say the reasons why, he said he felt stuck because he saw that I was happy BUT hd didn't want to see me hurt OR get his @as kicked by the guy. One of those "imbetween a rock and a hard place" moments. I really think he's trying to warn you without hanging himself and getting in the middle of it.

[SublimeJester]

Sounds like a "pandora's box" type of situation. While I do agree with some of the others posts in that the guy warning you may just be jealous or trying to keep you from dating X so that he can try to get with you, it may be that he is a true friend to X but is also a good person who wouldn't want anyone to be hurt by him. I have a friend that I've warned girls about and it wasn't because I was trying or wanting to betray the friendship, but I know him and that he has a tendency to drink and get violent and I would never wish that on any woman.

All in all, if you really like X then I'd say to stay with it and find out for yourself, but keep in mind that you were warned and always be vigilant and ready to fight or fly.

[Asailum]

yah right, he's just jealous.. its clear as day

if he was genuinly trying to prevent her from getting hurt he'd have talked to his FRIEND not her... you must be blind to even give him any benefit of doubt

[SublimeJester]

Far from blind really, as stated by my example I have personally experienced such a situation, and with my friend I know that talking to him does no good. Beating his ass doesn't do any good either, some people are too set in their ways for it to be of any use talking to them.

[kooky]

Guess you are going to have to find out for yourself. The guy friend is probably jealous, and definitely not really a friend.

[Asker]

mmm he is a friend though, just a mutual one - hence why he wouldn't tell me anything else :/ ty anyway though.

[artimis]

i agree, if he was a true friend to him he would never warn you after a week spending together... so he might have even problems with him trying to get revenge or is jealous!

[anneer]

I feel like his friend likes you and is being a little territorial...