Asking what my boundaries are?

[Krystal23]

I’m speaking to someone new and we are just speaking as friends atm but he says he wants to get with me and treat me right and he’s asking me what are my boundaries? Could someone give me an example what to say? As I’m not sure how to reply to the message. I understand I need to have boundaries in place for myself which i do but I don’t know how to expand on it. As I know my worth now I will not tolerate disrespect. So can someone help me with what I could reply with saying?

[OlderAndWiser]

I am assuming that his interest is romantic/sexual and you need to declare your boundaries with respect to those areas.

1. Are you open to a LTR with the right guy?

2. Are you open to a sexual relationship before marriage and, if so, at what point? Engaged? LTR? Something else?

3. Do you expect/promise exclusivity beginning with the first date?

4. Do you expect/want him to be a chivalrous gentleman?

5. How frequently do you expect/want to date initially?

6. How often do you want to communicate in between dates?

7. Are there sexual things that are an absolute deal breaker for you?

Not all of these need to be, or should be, discussed initially but these are the first few that came to mind.

[Krystal23]

Thank you xx

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Krystal23]

😁💖

[NathanDavis]

"to get with yo and treat you right"
that is something very vague to say really
and to me that implies that he wants to what he wants with you, before considering what you would want
but at least he asked and sort of warned you about boundaries.
On this, you should be very clear, if you do not want lascivious comments, say it
if you do not want lascivious touching, then say it
if you're not interested on going out and dating this guy to pursue something sexual, which is probably what he has in mind already, then just say you're not looking for that as of yet.

[Krystal23]

How could I put it in a message. That am I looking for something but would like to get to know someone first with no disrespect, and see what happens? Sorry I probs sound silly but I’m not good with this stuff

[NathanDavis]

you could just say that you're not ready and really don't want to get intimate right away with someone, that should be enough, it is clear and it is true.

Then say you're interested on getting to know someone first, first... because that's what you really want.

[Krystal23]

That’s fine thank you so much x

[Krystal23]

Tbh I don’t really like getting intimate right away with someone first rather get to know someone first ( which obvs we are doing ). How does that sound

[NathanDavis]

that sounds really good, yes.

[Krystal23]

Thank you x

[Iron_Man]

Obviously he’s looking for a hook up you tell this man that your boundaries are you will not have sex of any kind or foreplay till the day you are married After the wedding and watch him run thats how you can pick a part players.

[yofuknutz]

Tell him you don't do windows and you don't take it in the ass let's see how that works trust me it is a psychology ploy.

[LiamSawyer]

First of all it would sem like he's a decent guy if he truly will honor those boundaries. Message me and we can come up with the special boundaries for you.

[Krystal23]

I have messaged you

[EaterPeter]

Would you please mind starting with your boundaries? We are still talking about new relationship boundarues not dungeons and dragons, right? 🙂

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!