Aren’t my boundaries very fair?

Question

I make it clear early on, for me to take you seriously you mustn’t have male friends and mustn’t be going to the club.

Personally any behaviour like this and I’m out the door. I have too much pride and self respect.

Grovermint · Accepted Answer

Everyone's boundaries are different. Setting boundaries is saying “ I won't put up with that behavior". However, one must keep in mind that the other party may not accept such limitations. It isn't controlling, it's simply what you're comfortable with.

These friendships may have been quite a bit longer than you've known her and they could be like siblings, especially when they met through their own siblings.

Friendships can be rather innocent. If I told you, I have a female friend named Michelle, one might think it was with one party being interested sexually, at least at some point. When I then reveal that she's infact elderly and that I help her sometimes, the dynamic changes.

I wouldn't be comfortable with her going to the club, I find the locations to be rather sexual.

This is a very subjective topic.

If she’s going out infrequently, once in awhile for a girlfriend’s bday or random celebration, then it's rather unreasonable. I know some ladies that don't do anything besides hang out, drink a bit, and dance with their girlfriends, not seeking the company of men whatsoever.

An important caveat, many people go to clubs to get laid. Everyone says that they just go to dance and have fun, but dancing itself is a mating ritual, especially how dancing is at a club. Although, it can also be an expression of human emotion and is considered an art form.

To your update, no, both should respect each other. You can't just demand respect and not give it. You're not royalty.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

That is overly controlling, and I feel sorry for any woman in a relationship with you. A relationship is a partnership, based on trust, not one where you want (and try) to control your partner.

Mamaliv · Accepted Answer

Can you have friends that are girls? Respect has to go both ways! And so does trust! If I met a guy and early on he said this to me it’d be done right then and there. Good luck finding a meek woman, this could’ve worked in the 50s but your gonna have a really hard time finding an agreeable woman this day and age. And Man or Woman telling the other who they can or can’t be friend with is just wrong and a huge sign of insecurity.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I say I agree 90%. Clubbing 100% if she does that she is for the streets same with men.

But what if she has a gay male best friend or a bisexual male friend that prefer men. Or her friend is really ugly🤣?

Anonymous · Answer

Too many men have no boundaries and have allowed themselves to be shamed out of having any sort of back bone when it comes to females. Such boundaries are perfectly fine and more men should have them. Anyone calling this controlling is missing the point that no one is forcing her to do as his boundaries dictate. Thus it becomes merely another shaming attempt...

SnowedIn · Answer

So what you're telling us is that you plan to remain single for your whole life.

Lokiion · Answer

Nah it’s not fair anyways if you give her good reasons to not want to do this with your actions she won’t want to do these things

Aren’t my boundaries very fair?

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