I want to be a mom but my boyfriend does'nt. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

We have been dating for 2 year and he is a very famous chess player. I want to get married and have a baby but he does'nt. He says that it's early and now is an important period in his career. What should I do?

[laraWM]

It seems you still very young maybe you could decide to wait a few more years to have a child.
But if you want a child sooner, then try to convince him that it will not impact his career. I mean a lot of people are having child and career at the same time.
Hope you will finally agree

[Asker]

Thank you very much for your beautiful answer. I'm 23 and he is 30. He's a world champion and he cares more about chess than being a father

[laraWM]

You need to talk to him, tell him that you are not going to wait forever. You need to clarify if he wants to wait or if he doesn't want a child at all. If he loves you, he'll understand he can't make the decision for both you.

[Asker]

i did a test and if it's true i'm pregnant i really don't know what i'm gonna do

[laraWM]

Just tell him, I'm pretty sure he will understand

[Asker]

I just told him that I'm pregnant and he didn't believe it. He said he was in shock and didn't know what he was feeling right now. And now he's playing chess in the online tournament in the next room. And only focused on chess. I'm definitely very close to going to be a crazy. He just playing chess on live broadcast on youtube

[laraWM]

Of course he was not expecting it. Let him some time, don't put to much pressure on him. He'll come back to you when he'll be ready

[Asker]

I hope so

[virtue2332]

You should respect his wishes and continue the way things were before. give it some time and take that time to make sure it's what you want. If you decide this that getting to experience motherhood has a greater value to you then your relationship with him Oi t maybe then talk and explain that if he isn't willing to compromise you may have to part ways

[loveslongnails]

You weigh what's more important to you -- waiting for him or starting a family? There's no guarantee he'll EVER want to be a parent, you know. If his career takes off, he'll be even less inclined to want it. Tough call to make.

[Anonymous]

The key here is whether he actually wants a baby with the same passion that you do. If his heart really isn't into the whole "being a dad" thing, you need to leave him and find someone who is invested in being an amazing father. I say this because it's hard enough for two people to raise a child who actually want to be parents.

[Asker]

I'm 23 and he is 30. He's a world champion and he cares more about chess than being a father. He says "of course i wanna be a dad one day but not now. Because I'm world champion and i have to keep it."
I don't know what i'm gonna do because i think i'm probably pregnant.

[Opinion Owner]

Assuming you are pregnant, it's still better for the child to grow up in a single parent household or with a loving stepfather than with two parents who fight all the time because one of them doesn't give a shit about being a father. If you are pregnant right now, do not hide it from him. Go get checked ASAP and tell him. Then, you'll see pretty quickly what kind of guy he is. When the shit hits the fan and a baby is coming, some guys go into shock and realize that God has spoken and regardless of what they want, they are having a baby and that baby deserves the best, so they start making compromises and changes in their life that they never would have otherwise for the sake of the child. This is the kind of guy you want. The other type of guy says WTF, changes nothing, blames the girl for not using protection, sees her as the main provider for the child, and even leaves permanently.

[Asker]

I just told him I was pregnant and he didn't believe it. He said he was in shock and didn't know what he was feeling right now. And now he's playing chess in the online tournament in the next room. And only focused on chess. I'm definitely very close to going to be a crazy.

[TheFlak38]

Your fault for wasting time. 2 years is more than enough to know someone.

[Asker]

You're certainly right but he's a world champion and he cares more about chess than being a father

[TheFlak38]

Yes exactly. What took you so long to realise this? If somebody doesn't want to be a father after 10 months, he won't wanna be a father after 10 years. 4 months is the absolute minimum somebody can hide his true self and red flags. After that the red flags hit you one after another.

[Asker]

I agree with you he says he is 30 and now the world champion he needs to keep it and if he becomes a father he's afraid of that he won't be able to spare time for the baby.

[_ZOE_]

if it’s important for him then let him some time I don't know
maybe after that he will accept.

[Asker]

maybe you're right thank you

[_ZOE_]

maybe yes or maybe not...
I always say over here ( this forum) that the most important thing is the psychologist or self reflection.(as the conclusion over questions)

[Asker]

I agree with you. I'm 23 and he is 30. He's a world champion and he cares more about chess than being a father. He says "of course i wanna be a dad one day but not now. Because I'm world champion and i have to keep it."
I don't know what i'm gonna do because i think i'm pregnant.