Why does my boyfriend want me to trust him?

[Anonymous]

This may sound silly but I really just dont understand... is he tired of the accusations... does he want to be sneaky? Since I've known him this is all he wants.. someone please reassure me

[caring__1]

If you're making baseless accusations, it's understandable he'd want you to trust him... just like you'd like him to trust you. If he wants to just do whatever he wants behind your back and not hear any flack about it, then he is stating his preference in this area. Accusations won't motivate anyone to improve. If you don't like what you see, keep looking elsewhere. No matter how much you've heard "it's the woman behind the man," or "it's the woman who makes the man," guys will never be lumps of clay to be molded by women. No one's saying you need to like his patterns, but by continuing those patterns, he's saying he doesn't care about your feelings. Accept reality and move on.

[Asker]

I'm so confused. So you're saying I have a terrible boyfriend I should move on?

[caring__1]

I'm not saying anything about him, as you haven't shared anything about him. If you believe he is a terrible boyfriend, then moving on would be in your best interest. Based on what you've shared, I have no idea if your insecurities are projecting mistrust on him or whether he is just self-centered and feels entitled to do whatever he wishes, without considering how it might impact the feelings of others. Just focus on what's within your control if you want to see forward progress. Expecting others to change for you will never be something within your control.

[Asker]

Its deff my insecurities projecting mistrust on him as he's never really done anything wrong. And if I do confront him he usually shows me whatever I'm worried about and then I feel better. I wish I can get better I just dont know how

[caring__1]

Insecurities will destroy relationships. To overcome them, focus on the source of the insecurities. I don't care how much you focus on others; there's no way focusing on others will help you overcome your insecurities. In other words, don't say "this is what I fear you'll do," say "this is what I don't like about myself, and this is my plan to address and improve in that area." How would you feel if he kept insisting you are 14' tall? Wouldn't it get annoying after awhile? It sounds like your boyfriend is very patient and understanding. Everyone has his/her breaking point, so don't assume he'll put up with your dysfunction forever. Show appreciation for how he has handled this so far by focusing on real things within your control.

[FilmGuy93]

He's tired of the accusations... I have been on the receiving end of accusations before, it just drains your enthusiasm for the relationship.

[Sam_The_Savage]

I don't understand your question...

[Asker]

Its simple