Would you let your girlfriend go vacation with her male gay friend?

Question

My girlfriend is going on a vacation with her gay guy friend they just met. Now she’s planning on going to Miami with him for a concert. She didn’t even ask me how I felt before planning this trip she just randomly told me. And after I told her how I felt and I didn’t want her to go with another dude on a vacation she just said he’s gay there's nothing wrong with it and that if it was the other way around she wouldn’t care. Personally knowing her I know dam well she would be pissed and annoyed. She just keeps saying he’s gay and that they won’t be sleeping next to each other in the Airbnb during there stay ( I call b. s) what are your opinions? Should i stay with someone who disregards that fact I feel uncomfortable and asked her not to go? What would you do in my position?

Lenanicole · Accepted Answer

Ok if your going to tell a story tell it RIGHT. First of all me and my bsf met over 5 months ago the day i met him i invited you to hang with us the same moment. Every friend, sister even family member i have you always say how you dont like them. Which always leave me just isolated from the world. I try to make you feel as secure and comfortable as possible invited you and ask you many times just to hang out with him. I even ft you most of the time me and him are together. His cousin had 2 tickets to a concert she is pregnant & no longer wanted to go anymore she couldn’t find anyone to buy them so she gave them to him. Yes we maybe just met but it seems like we known each other our whole life! We both been through so much of the same situation from toxic family, back stabbing friends, being judge by the world just for who we are! You always say you understand but i know you dont… this world is completely different for black women and gays!! Soon as he told me about the trip i asked you about and informed you. You know how much i want to travel you've been around the whole world literally. And if you dont think i respect you, lets not forget i did all this even told you i was going to send you the exact airbnb we booked & we aren't even TOGETHER! Our relationship ended weeks ago and i still have enough love and respect for you to let you know about this! Because I understand your POV if i didn't i would of never even told you anything. & continued not to talk to you.

DaisyM23 · Accepted Answer

Well it’s not really bad that she’s going with her friend, especially if it's a gay guy because he’s no threat to you if that’s why you’re uncomfortable. She would maybe be mad like you if you went on holiday with your lesbian friend so maybe go befriend a lesbian, go on holiday with them and see how your girlfriend feels 😂
But seriously, I don’t really get the problem and I don’t think you’ve communicated why you feel so uncomfortable to your girlfriend so do that and see. You don’t have to keep dating her if you think it’s a big deal

JackSmy · Accepted Answer

SEVERAL ISSUES, with your post!!
You PRETENTIOUS, Misogynistic ASSHOLE!!! SHE IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY!! She is a free woman, and you don't "Let" her do anything, you pretentious asshole!!
She is a PERSON, and NOT YOUR PROPERTY, so SHAME ON YOU FOR EVEN SUGGESTING you have control over her!!
She is with a gay friend!! DUDE, probably the best one to have, if she is going to a place, when guys will be hitting on her!! He is the "wing-man" and he's going to be telling her, who is a "PLAYER" and who is wanting to just fuck her!!
That "gay" guy has a relationship with her, and they are like BFFs, and HE IS NEVER going to let someone mess with her!!
You are uncomfortable, because you don't understand that WOMEN LOVE having GAY MALE friends!! He's still a guy, and he's not going to do anything with her, and he is going to protect her, because he cares about her!!!
All your fears, and anxiety, is because you can't TRUST HER, and you don't understand the way they relate!!
Being a DUMBASS, and paranoid, and anxious, like you are, is going to make her want to find some other guy, that actually DOES understand her, and her feelings with her FRIENDS!
Sorry, to come across so harsh, but DUDE, I have a lot of gay friends, and have dated women that have gay male friends, and even shared a lady, being bisexual, with another woman!

bamesjond0069 · Accepted Answer

Total bullshit. 1. How do you know he's gay? Once when i was 19 i pretended to be gay and was literally fucking this dudes wife right under his nose for months and he just was like "he's gay nbd" so he would come home and he literally caught us naked and said "you girls trying on different outfits?" And were were like "hell yeah getting fabulous".

2. Gays are not gay. How do i say this but... you're straight so you only fuck girls and wouldn't even imagine fucking a dude. But guess what? All gay guys have also fucked girls. So they aren't as gay as you are probably straight. I know the most flamboyant gay ever. He said when he gets really drunk he will make mistakes with girls nbd. he's still classified as "gay"

3. A dudes a dude. She didn't ask. Why isn't she going on vacations with you? Thats just rude.

Personally id just tell her plan the vacation with you, cancel it, or she can go single. And put your foot down with it and stick to it however it plays out.

Finchie40 · Answer

First , she is being disrespectful to your relationship for the simple fact that she is making plans to go on vacation without you and not even talking to you or asking you before making her decision. This is one of the reasons why most relationships don’t last, because even though a partner thinks to themselves what they are doing shouldn’t be a big deal and they think what they are doing is fine , they aren’t thinking about how their partner would feel about it , it’s a selfish decision on their part , it doesn’t matter on who she is going with , whether if it’s just a girlfriend or gay guy friend. etc it matters that she didn’t include you on her decision making , and automatically excluded you and made a decision without talking to you about it , people should not get into committed relationships to be single , those days are over when you commit to someone , if they can’t wear your shoes like you wear theirs then that relationship will not last , all I will be is resentments , The fact that you probably don’t even know this gay guy makes it disrespectful as well. She met this guy 5 months ago and already planning vacations with him? Kind of weird to be honest , So bro the ball is in your court on whether you want to stay with this girl or dump her and move on if she ends up going , cuz again she isn’t thinking of you when she made this decision she was only thinking of her self

Seinna · Answer

It's really strange that she didn't ask you first before making those plans... even if she had the intention of going anyway, she should at least consider your feelings. Personally I think you might as well let her go - if she's so unreliable that she'd actually cheat on you then maybe better to find out sooner rather than later?

Also, I'm not a jealous person but I would have a problem with my boyfriend going on a holiday with another woman.

Overall she strikes me as not too smart. She could possibly be in danger with this guy if she just met him, she'll be putting herself in a disadvantaged position. If you love her then try to convince her to stay for her own safety's sake.

JustAnj · Answer

You feel hurt and uncomfortable because she did not communicate with you in the first place, you want her to be committed in a way that is like marriage but your not married. I understand you as well though and her not telling you is more of a "why not" in your head so set that aside. What the real issue is, is that you concerns do not matter to her and she refuses to acknowledge you are uncomfortable which means she does not respect your opinion.

I have been through this with my husband it's a bitch, took him years to learn that he was not taking us or me seriously and making me less of a priority in his life.

It's up to you if this is a deal breaker, you can try telling her how you feel in regards to feeling disregarded and disrespected. If she still refuses to acknowledge your feelings and just uses more excuses instead of at least giving you reassurance and letting you meet the guy. Then my recommendation would be to let her go.

JustinTimberlegs · Answer

She cares more about having fun than your feelings and she doesn't even feel bad about it.

Was in a similar situation where she wanted to meet up with this guy she knew online, didn't tell me they were meeting until the very last moment. I was against it but she went anyway after asking me if I trusted her. I said yes, but I don't like the way she's acting.

Still slept with him even though she asked me to trust her the night before. We lived together for almost a year and dated around 3 years.

Sometimes they don't want you but they don't want to lose you either. It's like security until they find what they want. Hope you manage to work things out.

Qdbrown · Answer

When a person up and makes plans like this, she does not respect you. No person should go on a trip with the opposite sex, even gay. Just put the shoe on the other foot. I guarantee you if you did that with a lesbian last moment to tell her, she would either call you every five minutes, or would be checking out of the relationship.

It's not unheard of for gay guys to F a round a little. Being queer, they sometimes every so often get drunk and F a friend in the moment. Not all guys are a 100% gay. And even if they don't have vaginal or anal sex, there could still be heavy petting and handjobs. Gay guys can love boobs too! It just means that he is not going to make her his girlfriend.

Not to mention there are metrosexuals. They do that to get close to her, get a few drinks in her, suggest some light play and the next thing he is doing is your girlfriend.

She should know better.

Nawlins34 · Answer

I just want you to know that I read this three times,
sat back in my chair in my office,
had a drink,
then read this a fourth time, so I actually thought it over a bit.

If I were in your situation, I wouldn't be worried... because what a single woman does is none of my concern. She'd be single for that trip, because I'd end the relationship prior to it. Nevermind his sexuality, I don't care.

It's the principle of the matter. She's making decisions like a single woman, then she's single. I'm not interested in keeping a woman on my arm that likes to dabble in gray areas.

I could do better and I will. Hell, I'm happy as hell because I found out early enough in life to recover quickly. Just my opinion on your situation, I hope i've helped. Be safe and good luck.

Alejandro3000 · Answer

Thats really shitty of her, not even asking you well that kinda tells you she thinks he's more fun and won't judge her or get annoyed at her so she chose him to go away. This is a major red flag, inviting you would mean she can't have her own fun. Couples do things together, so yeah i think you have every right to feel the way you do. Anyway a couple who have personal issues is not usually a good mix on vacations it usually involves arguments and fights.

WVRLXCK · Answer

I call B. S TOO, that's I don't know how much you trust her, but there is such a thing as too much trust, and I would never believe something like this, I would want to meet this so called gay friend she just met an asses him some to the bone,(to need to sounds a but wrong there, lol)
But my point, that's BS

pretyyygirl · Answer

You should let her go but she's not taking into consideration how you feel about the situation, that's selfish she basically didn't care. If it were the other way around she'd call you out on being selfish and take it as a red flag

Xavi349 · Answer

Are you uncomfortable because you think he isn't gay?
And if so do you think she is lying to you about him being gay or do you believe he is lying to her about being gay?

Or do you believe he is gay and yet you are still no comfortable with her going with a gay guy?

exitseven · Answer

I don;t know how much of a relationship it is but if you two are supposed to be exclusive then I would have a problem with this. If she cares so little about your concerns then maybe you need to find somebody new.

Anonymous · Answer

She must not really love you. Personally, I would ask my boyfriend to go on trips with me. Not friends. And not friends I just met. She’s also probably lying about the gay part. Weird.

Sargentcaptain · Answer

If you can't trust her enough to be alone for a few days your relationship is shit. I can't imagine being with someone I think would cheat on me if given a few hours alone with a random guy.

rienna888 · Answer

Yeah I’d be jealous too. You should tell her to put herself in your shoes. If you really like it just be like “okay imma go on a trip with MY lesbian friend” and see how she reacts

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Would I let her go? Yes, because I'm not going to decide what she can or cannot do Would I still be there when she got back? No chance.

Honesttguy · Answer

I would have to see the guy, and see if his gay. If his gay, then no problem she can go. If his not gay well she lies and thats a problem.

SupremeWarlord · Answer

I wouldn't if she said to me pretty early.

But if I were you, I would be thinking why she doesn't want me to go also, that's a bit fishy. I mean, I know she's just a girlfriend and not a wife, but still.

jamezsexton · Answer

My wife would go w our gay friend tho he's way more intrested in me then her LAMO no joke.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

Either you trust her or you don't, and if you don't then why are you with her?

Anonymous · Answer

Going to a concert doesn’t seem good with anyone. Even if the guy she doesn’t intent to hook out with the guy she’s going with, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen with anyone else. It’s just a bad environment. It’s asking for trouble in my opinion.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Gay or not she will find some strange dick on this trip... which is the whole point of this trip.  Dump her.

Den1971 · Answer

Go ahead and go I trust you until you prove otherwise

Shamalien · Answer

Gays are sneaky fuckers, don’t trust em not to fuck ur girl

Anonymous · Answer

Grow up and stop being so insecure.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes and they can fuck if they want.

Exterminatore · Answer

Dump her today.

Iron_Man · Answer

No lol

Anonymous · Answer

CUT HER LOOSE!

Would you let your girlfriend go vacation with her male gay friend?

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