ARRRGHH!.. I hate my Brain. April 2014, was the last time I saw my first Crush 7 years.. 2640 days ago (I don't even see her virtual pictures) and this freaking piece of Shit Brain still brings her into my dreams and even though unreal they are Insanely pleasant moments!.. I am walking in park with her or see her in market pass by me.. Today it was her having sex with another girl! Because she is lesbian I found that out 6 years ago.. Every month, I have one dream of her.. And I just cannot stop it... I never kissed her or held hands.. I was in her friendzone, I overcame her memories and buried them deep down and they surface in my mind in dreams...
I feel you *Captain America*.
I might need electroshock therapyšš¤£šCaptain I bet 70 years and still Peggy is your girl..Men on Gag!.. Does it ever Stop!.. Will I ever stop dreaming of her? Ladies does you men still finds his first Crush in his dreams..
Does it ever Stop!, Cannot stop dreaming of my first crush?
The last time I saw her was 1974 and I still think about her occasionally. Thoughts of her did haunt me for several years, but when I started dating and getting real experiences with real women, I realized that my fantasies about my crush were just that fantasies: what I wanted was not her - not the real her - but instead what I wanted was the perfect fantasy which I had created. And when I realized that, I felt that I had rather pathetically wasted a few years of my life, felt embarrassed about that, and vowed to never let it happen again.
THIS!.. IS PRECISELY what is happening with me.. My fantasies are emerging from depth of my sub conscious mind and haunting me.. I need another girl in my life to break that bond.. Or at least numb it.. But I am neither rich.. Nor do I have looks.. Ain't ready for dating..
I don't want her.. She put me in friendzone and used me and tormented me for years in hope that I can have her..
She took the best of me and gave it all to a Bad boy worth less than me!..
āWhen I started dating and getting real life eco with real women, I realized that my fantasies about my crush were just that - a fantasyā - older and wiser
Well you do see her in real life she is a Good Memory..
I don't see mine in real life.. She is a bad memory!.. I am trying to forget her.. So I can give that throne of my heart to some other girl and make her happy.. But if memories of her kept haunting me like This... how do you think I will be able to be happy with some other girl!..
I don't know your whole story to suggest how can you be happy.
But I can tell you that , remember the good memories about her and make peace with the fact that you couldn't be together and she will always remain special to you and nothing can change it probably bc she was your first I think.
But humans are capable of loving again maybe bc the fact that they could live for 100 years so if one partner dies they have find someone so they can survive.
You might never love the new gorl as much as you loved her but you will love her differently no need to feel guilty about it bc it's life.
And bc of this you might even love her more bc you know to value what you have now
Okay man!.. I really wish you find the girl of your dreams.. At least your girl is still straight... Mine turned out to be lesbian.. You have a shot with yours... I don't have a shot with mine..
You do know in India bro zone is synonymous to fuck buddy..
Here girls who want to fuck you but not marry you.. Usually start referring you as best friends or bro-zone you.. You are kind of dumb to think that you don't have a shot when you are in the game..
šš¤£ If you aren't related by birth or bloodline and she ties rakhi.. It's definitely for chocolate!.. If she still comes to tie rakhi.. Tell her.. You aren't my sister.. We aren't related by birth, so stop pretending... And yeah.. I still offer girls chocolate.. But now I wear it.. And keep a chocolate colored dotted condom with you..
Tell her all this when you are alone with her.. And I am certain either she will walk Away in shame or she will be super turned on.. Regardless.. She will have Dirty thoughts about you..
Be a little assertive.. Unless you like her as a sister.. If you hate that she is bro zoning you.. Break that zone and prove to her.. You are an Alpha and she will begin desiring you..
I don't even where she is lol , meh I don't think anymore in those terms it's a closed chapter , but I have a crush feeling my first crush so you know that will be forever even we might not be together
When you are longing, alone, not getting the love and building a life you deserve, there is a void and you are reflective, then those old memories and associated strong chemical bondants come up. That is something deep inside driving you... unfortunately it's holding you in the past rather than moving forward building something real, you're stuck in a fantasy of what you thought. In essence, isn't it letting go and letting the past die... like a death? In essence, you still have some hope or saving her?
When you find a new love and are satisfied, that fades.
Reality is for me, most of these feelings were fantasies. Fantasies make it stronger, as it's emotional. Not a real love or person. There were "connections" when I think about seeing the girl in HS I first felt strong feelings for or touching her once. But she wasn't who I thought she was, I know that. All I have is what I projected onto her, not reality of her... the truth. There's others along the way, sparks if you will... based upon my assumptions of who they were. Once you know someone, then real love grows.
The attraction is deep rooted in childhood.. what you loved then is projected onto another that maps to her sub conscious. I'd project who I thought they were onto them. Reality is... I didn't know those women. In your case, you felt something, you knew her some, but it wasn't real... she wanted something else and who knows why.
We all could use help processing our emotions including myself. It's a sticky wicket what emotions/love/bonding does to us. Question is then how to process that to put it in place and that may depend upon how you process emotions, personality. I have a hard time processing, this is another subject to delve into and maybe we can work on. another question.
example, prior to meeting my girlfriend, I was hooked on and fantasizing about other women I'd seen and had interest in. I'd perfect them in my mind. Once I committed into this relationship, those fade away. The problem with not getting someone is you are left with your dreams. If I think about someone now I think about their flaws and humanity. That is a solution for you, albeit, may have to find someone to be real with.
Iām curious... you are the 4th Indian Iāve heard of holding on to a crush for years. Is it a culture thing, different country, or just a male brain?
Cause in western county Iāve never witnessed or heard of a guy thinking and holding on to a girl/crush.
I know of other western man holding onto the past. This has to do with the way diff generational up bring. Young people are taught to move on fast or k no it get too involve emotionally. The new term I heard is, they donāt even use the term dating... they call it being in a situation. Sigh...
Your problem is that you are STILL holding out hope that you will one day be with her. You need to accept the FACT that, no matter what, it will NEVER, EVER happen. There is NO HOPE of the two of you ever being together. Until you can accept that truth, you won't be able to move on.
I already accepted that fact in 2016.. And she is not a good girl.. Rumors has it she is evil girl and a Heartbreakers.. Who uses and manipulates people.. But my heart strung along with her and it's gone ever since..
See, I don't really think you have. I think, even though you say out loud that you accept it, that you're really in denial about the fact that you're still holding out hope.
You need to get back out on the dating market (stay away from apps, and instead, go out and meet women in the real world) and once you start spending time with other women, you'll be able to forget about her.
This ain't America.. Approaching a women directly will lead to disaster.. This is india.. Here you approach her through her friends and I am not a social person.. So it's hopeless for me.. And I live in a small town.. Dating isn't something that happens here..
Man! My life didn't existed before I met her.. I was suicidal and wanted to die before I met her.. She changed everything for me.. She became the biggest inspiration I ever found.. I maybe sub consciously holding out hope.. Because if I break that hope.. I will disconnect from my inspiration.. Fall down an abyss of suicidal thoughts and hopeless life..
It started after I accepted that she will never become part of my life or I will be with her.. Around 2016 I saw her status change to "Interested in women" means she came out as lesbian!.. And around the same time I realized I could never have her and this began..
Dreams aren't regular but they are there.. Sometimes I am with her! Sometimes she is there with someone else.. And I am watching it all flash before my eyes!..
She isn't saying lesbian.. I am not in touch with her or have mutual friends... I just saw her status 3 years ago it said "Interested in women." that means she is either bisexual or lesbian
I am not going for her.. I am not even interested in dating her or being with her.. I wasted my whole middle school and high school being her friend and hoping she would see that I want more from her than being just her friend.. She did get clue that I liked her.. But she never clued me back or gave me opportunity to say it to her..
What I want to know is will these dreams every stop.. I end up wasting 12-15 days a year because my sleep breaks at night with such dreams.. That 60 days.. 2 months I lost in 5 years.. In next 50 years I will lose 600 days over this girl that's 1 year and 8 months lost behind her..
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