Guys, He went to the club but didn't say anything?

[Anonymous]

I took my boyfriend to NYC to celebrate our birthdays. Yesterday his friends invited him out... cool. no problem... but he failed to mention that they were going to a club. I have told him before that as long as he is honest and transparent about these things it wouldn't be a problem. Any advice. He's 28 I'm 32.. i feel too grown for this. Had i done the same he'd break up with me

[qwert1234]

I will not say it's a red flag yet, but it'll be a topic of conversation. I mean, if you both agreed to be honest and transparent, be honest and transparent.

[MrNamara]

This ☝🏻

[qwert1234]

@MrNamara I would also want to add that if you tell him it's ok, then be ok with it - no hidden fuss.
I've seen girls say it's ok, but get mad if their guys do it. I mean, most guys are literal. And doing this, they will start to either lie or not do their part of the deal.

[MrNamara]

Same goes for us men too, though.

[Asker]

I forgot to mention trust has been broken... about a month ago i found him sexting other women. He probably doesn't care huh 😞 it sucks, i even asked if there was something i was doing wrong or could improve. I've been open to threesomes or having an open relationship... the only thing i ask for is respect and transparency

[qwert1234]

Sexting others while in a relationship is a red flag. Personally, it's a relationship-ender for me. This is tantamount to cheating on my book. For me, just go watch porn for the itch. Don't go talking to real people.

[Asker]

I'm all about respect and open communication... i wouldn't behave this way with him.

[MrNamara]

Then he shouldn't have behaved like this. You don't need to tolerate him.

[Asker]

@MrNamara he immediately lied about going. I had to tell him to stop lying and be honest. He said he was afraid I'd be mad. This sucks... all he had to do was be honest

[KrakenAttackin]

He said they were going "out", what did you think that meant?

[Asker]

I didn't think that meant a club. If i go to one without him he would be livid

[KrakenAttackin]

The difference is he went and had a few drinks, you would have been looking for strange cock.

[Asker]

Actually no! I'm not a cheater. He was sexting other women last month, trust is broken but repairable with actions. Omitting the truth is a lie. I called him because i got a sitter for the night and my friend invited me out, i texted since he didn't answer so he knew and there wouldn't be any misunderstanding... why couldn't he do the same

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker. Sounds like you are hooked up with a Chad Thundercock.

[Asker]

I'm sorry
. I don't know what that means

[Asker]

I just looked it up... i guess that's true minus the big cock

[KrakenAttackin]

You are much older than he is. You are just his play thing.

[In_Trance]

maybe he didn't know where they were going

[Asker]

Oh no. It was planned. I saw the messages. Then he tried to lie about it when I asked him about his night

[In_Trance]

So... then what are you doing about this?

[Asker]

I just broke up with him. I told him i need mutual respect and transparency... been saying it. This sucks

[In_Trance]

No... this is good. Now you can move on and find what you really want

[Asker]

Now he wants to get an apartment for us... wtf

[In_Trance]

Sadly, you ignore the red flags and move in with him