Guys, He didn't mention his girlfriend til recently. WHY?

[ChooChooHaha]

We seem to be going somewhere, he's about 10 years older than me. But he never mentioned her. I'm separated and almost divorced, as far as I know he doesn't know.
But he never mentioned her til recently. Why? We've known each other a while.

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+1 y

I don't even know if the feeling is mutual...

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+1 y

Cause there was no reason to. He said.

Thanks guys for your help. Honestly, I really appreciate it.

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+1 y

And he was afraid to say it... but he ended up pushing me away, as he should have. He has a serious girlfriend.

[Surely]

Who is separated and almost divorced?
If you are the pursuer. Then you need to do your homework better on these guys.
He probably thought that it wasn’t necessary to tell you anything since you were chasing after him and he was enjoying himself.

[ChooChooHaha]

I'm almost divorced.

[Surely]

@ChooChooHaha. So technically you are still married. Women in your position had hurt me the most, when they discovered that they didn’t want to be tied down so soon after a divorce. That is after they find out that they can stand on their own two feet and don’t need your shoulder to cry on anymore!

[Surely]

Just from my past experiences.

[ChooChooHaha]

Ok, but what's your point?

[Surely]

@ChooChooHaha. Even though you probably would deny it. I will never take a freshly divorced woman seriously. or fall for one.
Reason being is when most get through the divorce. Then they want to be free and get a social life and shame on you. She doesn’t need you anymore!!
He probably figured that you still had a husband. So he could have a girlfriend.

[ChooChooHaha]

Not when no one wants anything to do with me, even this guy apparently.
Every other female around me is obsessed with relationships.
How could he have known anything?

[ChooChooHaha]

Besides, I've never been one to really care about them or look for them in the first place. Romantic relationships.

[ChooChooHaha]

And I'm not most females (thanks god!).

[ChooChooHaha]

Sometimes, that's all I want. Doesn't even have to be serious. So I'm not lonely or feel so goddamn alone and afraid.

[Surely]

@ChooChooHaha. I once dated a woman with a three yo daughter. I knew that she was using me to get her house ready to sell and figured that I would get the dear John letter. Which I did after all of the work was done! What made things worse. I connected with the daughter and still miss her today. That was 25 years ago!
So I built the wall and will never fall for a still married woman or newly divorced.
That is why that I said the things I said.

[ChooChooHaha]

Awh man.
😭

[FilmGuy93]

He probably didn't mention her before because he didn't know what kind of vibe you would have.

[ChooChooHaha]

But he went through all the motions with me. You know? Over months.
We meet up sometimes. Just the 2 of us.

[FilmGuy93]

Okay. So, let's put the shoe on the other foot. Why haven't you mentioned the fact you're married and soon to be divorced?

[ChooChooHaha]

I'm separated and don't even talk to my ex husband anymore. And it's almost finalized.
Besides, that's there in recent past. What's there to tell? To scare someone away, when I literally have no one?

THIS GUY however, we're not even boyfriend/girlfriend. When there were plenty of times he could have mentioned her if he was going to see her. Never did.

[ChooChooHaha]

Besides, i wanted my shit to at least be in the motion of getting together, if not together, before I made any more moves. I wanted it to be perfect... cause i wanted to impress him.

[FilmGuy93]

So what makes you think that he would have any other reason to tell you? Y'all aren't romantic.

[ChooChooHaha]

If he ever saw her before.
Me: whatcha doing the rest of today?
His Answer Could've Been: Seeing my lady.

[Surely]

@ChooChooHaha Good luck with your dating. Wish you well. Thank you for the MHO!

[ChooChooHaha]

@Surely in other words, shits not going my way anytime soon

[Adogdog]

He probably wants to hang out with you, so he didn't mention her.

[ChooChooHaha]

Go out or hang out?
He's out of my league. I've told him he intimidates me. I get nervous cause I don't want to fuck it up, but I always end up rambling/ anxiously speaking. I ALWAYS want to talk to him, ask him things, and I've told him that.

[Adogdog]

I'm sure you are cute lol

[ChooChooHaha]

With the add on, what do you make of that?

[Adogdog]

Guys find that cute

[ChooChooHaha]

Ok, but... if I tell you that... what do you make of it?

[Adogdog]

I would just think she likes me and is a little nervous and that's sweet.

[ChooChooHaha]

I'm terrified. He's long term material.
I don't want to ask him out til my shish is together, and he's single.
And I do the pursuing. It's always that way with me and others, regardless of who.

[Adogdog]

That's good though!

[ChooChooHaha]

Why? How?

[Adogdog]

I think it's sweet when the girl makes the first move.

[ChooChooHaha]

I did already. We have a mutual hobby. I asked him to practice it with me so I could get better. So we meet up sometimes to practice. I usually text first, pursue him.
I also don't want to ask him out til my shish is at least on the way to being togther, if not together.

[ChooChooHaha]

So what do I do?

[Agagagagaga]

Can you please put on your big girl panties and actually type out the word “shit”.

Shit shit shit shit shit. Great piles of shit. See, I didn’t burst into flames or lose my job. It’s okay to swear. Jesus-fucking-Christ.

[ChooChooHaha]

@Agagagagaga
Shish means shit in Russian, by the way.
But what do I do now, about him?

[ChooChooHaha]

I wanted your answer to be true.
SO BADLY!

[DiDi1101]

Maybe its was a broken relationship and now they fix it

[ChooChooHaha]

Hell if I know.

[Staximus]

Find a guy without a girlfriend

[ChooChooHaha]

:( Are his hooks not in too deep?

[ChooChooHaha]

I know.
😟 But he's long term material and whatnot. I'm going to anyway.

[Staximus]

Both of you fucked up. You should have told him you are in the middle of a divorce and he should have told you he has a girlfriend. Where is this relationship based on deception going to go in the end? It sounds like both of you need to learn how to be honest people and act like respectable adults.

[ChooChooHaha]

I'm waiting on the finalization, #1.

#2, it's not based on deception.

#3, whether I mention it or not, changes nothing. Ex-husband and I don't even talk. We're done. His current girlfriend changes everything.

#4 You don't know everything. You know only what I told you.

[Staximus]

You should have told him you're in the middle of a divorce. You're a deceptive person. Be honest.

[ChooChooHaha]

There's no point in him knowing since ex and I don't even talk.

[ChooChooHaha]

Not like him, who's in a relationship now and for the forseeable future.
Why should I tell the only person I have in my life something that'll scare him away, when there's no reason to be scared?

[ChooChooHaha]

And it's not the middle.

[ChooChooHaha]

How the fuck am I deceptive?

[Staximus]

You don't tell him you were in the middle of a divorce

[ChooChooHaha]

Why should i?

[ChooChooHaha]

He's my past.

[ChooChooHaha]

He didn't tell me he's in a CURRENT relationship.

[ChooChooHaha]

Not to mention, why rip open that wound?
I want to fucking move on.

[Xtendable]

Thats a really good question

[ChooChooHaha]

Any ideas?

[Xtendable]

Yeah, but it’s not pretty. My theory is that he’s kept that part a little quiet so that you get attached to him first before he drops that news on you, claiming that the time wasn’t right, or saying it never seemed relevant, etc…

[ChooChooHaha]

I ask for the truth.
But why do that?

[Xtendable]

If he told you initially, at the beginning, how would you have responded to him?

[ChooChooHaha]

That he has a girlfriend?
I'd run. I'm no homewrecker or cheater. Shit's AWFUL.

[Xtendable]

That’s why I think he kept it quiet initial

[ChooChooHaha]

So he told me now.
What's that supposed to change?
How am I supposed to react?

[Xtendable]

Ask him why he kept it from you, like a secret…

[ChooChooHaha]

Cause he wanted me to be his sideshow?

[Xtendable]

I think so…

[ChooChooHaha]

NOOOOOOOO. XD
But seriously, No!!!

[Xtendable]

Sorry, I didn’t want to be the bearer of that news

[ChooChooHaha]

You're just the messenger, I don't shoot.
I aim for the fucker who's responsible. Not the messenger.

[Xtendable]

So, whats your plan of attack from here?

[ChooChooHaha]

i don't know.

[Xtendable]

Have you asked him why you’re only hearing about her now?

[ChooChooHaha]

i'll ask him tomorrow. it's 11 pm my time. supposedly they're out tonight.
i asked him word for word: since when do you have a girlfriend?

[Xtendable]

Good. Hopefully its not all doom and gloom

[CubaPirate]

Because he's an asshole

[ChooChooHaha]

** sad face **

[MichaelHayward]

Ngl he probably just saw u as a fuck buddy

[ChooChooHaha]

You mean a sideshow or friends with benefits?