Is there a such thing as falling out of love with someone?

[whatsupbri]

It’s interesting cause I actually fell in love with a man but we never had sex.
There’s a big age gap. BUT We connected spiritually, emotionally and he was my closest friend. It’s been a year and a half since we slowed down talking as much. He still has a special place in my heart. No matter how we argue.
I've expressed some of feelings to him. He never says he does or doesn’t feel the same.
But I know for a fact he loves me the way he’s cared for me, been there for me. He used to do the things a man does for a woman he loves. I don't know if I got the wrong message.

The way he made me feel without touching me sexually is so special.

I need to move on with my life. But I can’t completely cut him out my life he’s like family to me.
But I don’t think I could have him as a boyfriend or husband. Just the circumstances.
SO again, can we fall out of love with someone, if so how do you do that?

[Jake99999]

What you are describing is a platonic friendship. You love him as a friend. This is not a romantic relationship

[whatsupbri]

This is true
I do love him as a friend. I love him romantically too. But I know I can’t be with him. He’s like your age in his 50s. He just treated me a way I haven’t ever been treated. He don’t even understand then again maybe he does.
He even said one time recently “none of the men you date will ever love you as much as me.”
But yeah it is platonic friendship no sexual encounters. Which I’m glad of cause that would just make it harder.
But this showed me how much you can love someone romantically with no sex involved and truly love them and not their body.

[Jake99999]

Sometimes older guys have learned a few things - and are wiser, understand what is important, and are a lot more authentic - and can have insight. Many of us don't feel like we have anything to prove. Too bad most men cannot have that knowledge when they are younger. But for a lot it takes some mileage before they mature.

So he has been kind to you, a good listener, etc. And he has given you zero back when you tell him you feel something more than friendship? Some older guys will look at someone younger almost like a daughter. Maybe that is part of what is going on here. If he viewed you otherwise, and is not married, he would have explored something with you. It may be that he is just not attracted to you, but still cares about you. Maybe he enjoys the flirting and likes knowing a much younger woman admires him - but isn't interested for anything more. Who knows.

What he said to you "no other man can love you as much as me" is kind of BS though. I hope you don't believe that. You may have feelings for him for a long time, but if nothing is happening you will move on, and when you do meet a special guy who you can have a relationship with, you will move on and be fine. Just don't spend too much time pining away for this guy. If he is like 25-30 years older than you, the age difference would eventually turn into something that would be harder for you to accept than you think. Focus your romantic energy elsewhere.

[whatsupbri]

I really like your answer.
I’m not sure but I think there’s attraction but at the same time
he might not be comfortable being with someone so much younger as myself.

But he’s shown so much love towards me. Massage my back, hold me and hug me for a long time, talk on the phone for hours, and everyday on FaceTime. And we never kissed. He has pictures of me in his phone and sent me pictures of him. I still have to this day.

But like I said we slowed down on all that. But we were so close and even now we still talk but not hang out as much as we used to. I began to fall for him. I don't know maybe it’s an awkward situation for him like you stated.

He walked in on me while I was naked bent over
I was about to jump in the shower. I felt like it was super awkward I don't know if that made things better or worse
but I could go on forever of different encounters.
I like your answer tho. It’s hard to accept. I want to run away or go away for a while so that I don’t see him so much because we have mutual connects.

It’s gonna be so hard for me if he meets someone else or gets married. I’m just being honest.
It would be hard for me if he died or something. I haven’t ever loved a man so much.
But like you said older men are wiser and have more experience on what to do.
Why couldn’t he see that I was falling for him, like he had to see it at some point😒
This sucks so much. But thank you 🙏

[Jake99999]

I feel for you. I can understand how this is hard for you. This is a case where you have to use your head and allow it to overrule your heart. I wish you all the best.

[whatsupbri]

Thank you for that

[AngelMegumin]

The spiritual connection does wither with time. Therefore, without next logical step, yes.

[Tunasub]

Yes feelings do change. Being in love does not mean staying in love forever. We want it to last forever but situations, feelings, thoughts, they may change and not always for the better.