Are romance novels bad for relationships?

Question

Citizenkirk · Accepted Answer

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Are romance novels bad for relationships?

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Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

I've never read one. I've read hundreds of books but not "romance" novels... the erotic kind. I mean I have read "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre", "Wuthering Heights", Great Expectations... those have some romance elements but not these grocery store, romance novels.

I've heard they are like porn for women. At least that's what Joey Tribbiani says.

In what way could they possibly bad do you think?

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

True romance is like what you see in Lord of the Rings, Little House on the Prairie. It is not what they call "romance". They often start as of it was innocent. But for the most part its lust covered up as love at first sights and its basically written porn. Most romance books for adults are again not romance, its just flat out erotica, and its bad enough poeople confuse eros as a type od love when ot is NOT. It is striaght up sex. And sex have zero to do with love. They need to stop calling this romance when its not. Fantasy books does a better job than this. Sad.

electromagnetic · Accepted Answer

I don’t know about the newer books but the ones I used to read in highschool completely gave me a false idea of how sex and being in relationships actually work.
There is this one I read where the dude borderline stalks the girl until he gets here. Then they have all this romantic sex life and such and eventually his crazy ex shoes up and he has to fight between who he wants or whatever.
I remember being 14 and believing this is what life is about. completely false.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Probably about as unhealthy/healthy as porn. They're just different mediums for fantasy.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Can be. They're like fairytale stories for adults

purplepoppy · Answer

No they teach us that no matter how good our boyfriend's are there's better, richer more handsome men out there we could upgrade to. They're also inspirational material for men because they give men a standard to aim for.

15_Debo · Answer

Well no
they're most of the times good...
classics like Pride and Prejudice/ Wuthering Heights/Jane Eyre
or
YA like After series/Mortal Instruments/Fifty Shades...
helps us get a perspective on a relationship...
That's applicable for me, might not be for others...

meetkitty123 · Answer

I don't think so in fact I always tell a man if he really wants to understand what a woman is looking for romantically he needs to look into her reading history read the books she all the way to the end or perhaps even the book she's read more than once and you'll know what she wants

lilyanony1 · Answer

People say they are a fantasy. That they make the women that read them believe in a false sense of love etc.
If men read these wouldn't that alter how they view how a man should be

Wouldn't that mean that men and womem would share a similar outlook of what love and romance should look?

Heytherelyla · Answer

Honestly, I've grown up reading romance novels from the 1800s such as "Jane eyre" and I mean, they kind of influence you but I don't expect anything spectacular in a real life relationship. I just want mutual support, understanding and respect. And yeah, love too.

Ninani · Answer

They sure can be if the relationships portrayed aren't healthy, but made out to be romantic and ideal despite that.

Wester1967 · Answer

Yes. Romance novels are porn for women.
It’s bad because women will pick a bad boy and want him to be romantic. Rather than picking a romantic boy and cheating on him, abusing him, humiliating him, sleeping with his friends and treating him like total crap because he doesn’t act like a bad boy

Alyssa11 · Answer

Probably. I read them as a teenager and they gave me false expectations lol.

t-8900 · Answer

Probably. I would say Walt Disney was apart of the equation of what messed me up so much with my expectations of a relationship.

MrJMM · Answer

It’s not like it’s bad but if a person starts to have an idea of how romance goes in the books, reads lots of romance novels they might think it's real and has tried to live in fantasy even though the real world does not work like that. So basically it might lead to high expectations, overthinking, false hope, etc. It's one thing to read for entertainment but the other is either trying to be like the main character or even try to live in like a book.

Twalli · Answer

No more than porn. There's a study that showed that porn is for men what romance novels are for women. if someone thinks porn is bad for relationships, romance novels must be seen as also bad.

Jlegacy · Answer

Romantic novels give high expectations and this is a good thing because it makes entering a relationship that isn't perfect, suck even more.

My reality is better than all the novels I have read. So I thank God for every romantic novel I read.

Browneye57 · Answer

Naw, just fantasy.  I think jerking off to porn is far worse.

nickaboy · Answer

Yes women get the idea from them that an asshole is a good idea to marry or that the good guy will be very cool and never a nerd

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

The way I see it romance novels are just straight up porn but in written form. They were developed so people who aren't as visual can get hard and sexually turned on, and just like porn it only used for fiction and shouldn't be use in actual romance.

ChaoticallyNumb · Answer

Yes and no. The real problem is that we've romanticized the very IDEA of romance. 99% of romance novels just show exactly how we've romanticized the concept of love and romance.

ElizaPam · Answer

Nah we just read them because we want a man who’s actually something instead of a “gamer” or a “rapper” or whatever it is y’all think is cool

ilyess0 · Answer

Yes they are. makes u unsatisfied with whatever effort ur partner puts. the same effort that was called amazing before

NathanDavis · Answer

no... it's just some people that are really bad at relationships

bambi_01 · Answer

I’m not sure. It’s never harmed any of my relationships in the past. But it does give me an unrealistic expectation of men and love. So I don’t read or watch romantic type of material anymore 😅.

Lunatic1 · Answer

They can be, but it all depends on the couple. It can show a woman what she might not know she likes, but it can also paint an unrealistic picture of the "perfect lover" and split the relationship up. It is a very slippery slope.

AliceTheNguyener · Answer

I wouldn't call that "romance novel" LOLL it looks like just an erotica to me.

DrewJohnson · Answer

My wife reads them and our sex life is good. You have to understand that it's not going to translate directly to real life. And enjoy it for what it is.

OddBeMe · Answer

No more than rom coms where you meet your one and only by chance. You meet people over time snd develop love. I think so many people expect meet cutes.

VDrago14 · Answer

No more so than porn. It's only bad when it takes priority over intamcy with your partner

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Not at all. I love them.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Romance novels are supposed to be an inspiration. The only problem is that women are reading them while men aren't. And women are passive.

In_Trance · Answer

Yes they are

worldscolide · Answer

They are as bad as porn. They set an impossible standard for men to live up to..

EnglishEuropean · Answer

Pffft, it's just recreational reading and mostly fantasy. I don't think it has any effect on RL relationships.

Waldoe · Answer

I cannot imagine why they would be... Enjoy the storyline, men are more into visual stimulation (Photo's) does that bother you?

Greg1987 · Answer

Depends on how easy you’re manipulated by superficial stuff

boxxie2002 · Answer

Surely not. Can't be any worse than movies, TV series, magazine quizzes

legalboxers · Answer

it paints a fantasy (like Fabio) on what a person should be, not what a person is

hanony · Answer

Now that I think so, probably.

Subarugirl · Answer

No worse than porn is.

Better_off_here · Answer

they are no different than watching romantic movies with a happy ending.

Anonymous · Answer

They're as good or as bad for relationships as porn.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. A person who can't seoerate fact from fiction are ( looking at you most women) lol

UchihaMADARA · Answer

Sometimes they juz makes expectations and expectations is very bad for relationships

karaspara · Answer

Don't see why they would be

TessCasie · Answer

Yes absolutely crap! It’s all vain

kc_4308 · Answer

No I’m reading Nicholas Sparks right now lol

pink_macaron · Answer

Sometimes they spice up the relationship

TapDancingSpider · Answer

yes, they higher your standards

Vigors · Answer

No, but your advice is

Iron_Man · Answer

It depends on the romance novel

Guardian45 · Answer

Maybe not. They fuel dreams and imagination!

jimmy2 · Answer

Yes it leads to divorce

ewok737 · Answer

Un realistic.

Fuentes · Answer

I don't read them

Joker_ · Answer

Yeah

Are romance novels bad for relationships?

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