Do romance dramas give unrealistic expectations of how love should be?

[caitycat21]

I recently just started watching the show outlander and I don’t want to spoil the show for any who haven’t watched but I’m obsessed with Claire and Jamie’s relationship !!

I think it’s kind of raised my expectations a lot for what I look for/desire in a future relationship 😓 obviously it’s not 100% realistic clearly since it’s made for tv but I still would like to experience a real passionate sort of love like that one day?

[Simslover92]

I believe that anything written comes from some form of truth. Writers write what they know after all. But that truth can be stretched a lot into fantasy. Romance especially from a show like Outlander is a big stretch of what romance is in reality. Relationships in real life takes a lot of work and there are so many obstacles that TV shows and movies just don't capture. So my answer is that they do give unrealistic expectations of what love should be to a certain extent but that doesn't mean it doesn't come from a real place.

I think no one should look to TV and movies as the blueprint to what their relationship is supposed to be but rather real life couples like mom and dad or grandma and grandpa.

[caitycat21]

My mom/dad and grandma/grandpa are divorced so I can’t really look to them for examples 😅

[Simslover92]

So are mine. Lol but surely there are other couples you know in the real world that you can look to.

[Simslover92]

My mom and step-dad are going strong after almost 20 years together for example

[caitycat21]

Well I do think Nara and lucky smiths relationships really cute !

[caitycat21]

They’re celebrities tho so probably don’t count

[Simslover92]

Yeah I wouldn't look towards celebrity couples either. Sadly many fade out fast.

[yourpalval]

omfg huge outlander fan here too!! ok so like ya of course we can't expect movies n shit to be like real life but there are things about jamie n claire that i think are a way way way better show of healthy relationships so like no spoilers but its good because it goes into not just how to fall in love but how to stay in love and that shit ain't easy

[glennos89]

You will get a relationship that is close and very intimate eventually thrust me😉

But you have to understand that 0 relationships come without problems. Romantic drama's show you a unrealistic way of getting such a passionate relationship just like that instantly but to get a relationship like that you and your partner will have to be committed 100% and it won't happen without a fight every now and then.

Every relationship has their own problems and its up the people that are in that relationship if they are willing and being able to overcome those hurtles

[Christian_Cartier]

Great point. Relationships like that come after building them for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Romance movies, tv shows, etc often encourage women to be promiscuous/unfaithful and greedy. It encourages the exact qualities that good men hate. It helps to create the MANY low quality women that we have in society today, which is the majority of them. Also, many romance books that women read are really just erotica/porn in word form because they are obsessed with sex.

That kind of content just tries to tell women to be low quality and immoral and somehow to magically expect a good quality partner. Western women like it because they are low quality.

[BetaBucks]

Dude the most famous romance movies like Titanic and Notebook are about a girl cucking her fiance and the dude still begging for her to stop cheating on him. The Notebook girl even goes full DV on the main character. It's a weird fantasy.

[ohsheeT]

I haven't watched the movie or watch TV in such a long time I don't know how those romance dramas go

But I do like to think of myself as being different than most men because I can see and feel things deeper than most people.

And there are many moments in time where you have to be spontaneous you have to be real and you have to show certain parts of yourself to let the person you're with understand you more becoming one with somebody is one of the most beautiful things in the world and it's hard to find somebody that understands that touch that feeling that Bond

Maybe I should watch one of those but I don't think I'm going to LOL I just have my own way my own theory about love like friendship commitment and that Bond you have to create it by being real

[ThatBaldGuyOvetThere]

Yes, they do. And that also works for men because they crave something like that too, but never want to outright admit it.

It's ok to fantasize about stuff that these dramas show, but when you start watching them as a hobby, etc., that's when the damage is done. You resent anything you have because it's not like what you always watch/read.

If you can recognize it's just a fantasy and not reality, then you're set. Real life is a bit more grim and takes more work. It's rare you find a "cinderella" or "prince charming," because they really don't exist, but that doesn't mean there isn't someone perfect for you specifically.

[ProbablyClueless]

Very unrealistic, yes. And even if the unrealistic part is just how it will make you feel, and not what your partner will do.

Romance dramas depict sugar rush relationships. A sugar rush is not sustainable. Relationships are what happens in time between the high points.

[animesenpai]

Yes and no people have the right to be picky and choosy but the way romance novels and dating apps have people conditioned that everyone needs to be perfect is wrong.


Relationships take work and people aren't perfect. Growth is seeking perfection look for someone who is doing that

[DJB72]

There's guys out there who can be a Jamie for your Sassenach. Just don't expect them to vote Democrat in the USA or Labour in the UK. He might be wearing a kilt in a lot of it, but don't confuse a Scot with a crossdresser...

[caitycat21]

I mean there are a lot of red head men where I’m from (the New England area) since there’s a lot of Irish and Scottish immigration and New England historically leans pretty blue 😂

[WhitneySnow]

I disagree. Plenty of hot romantic guys are Democrats, especially in New England. (And plenty are Republican too. Hotness and a sense of romance does not depend on political affiliation.)

[caitycat21]

@WhitneySnow I know right, and even in the context of the show Jamie’s pretty progressive at least for the time period

[WhitneySnow]

@caitycat21 totally agree

[WhitneySnow]

I love Outlander!

Kind of but it also gives you something to aspire to in your own relationship

[exitseven]

I have had relationships that could be made into a movie. The difference is that in the movies everyone lives in a nice house and don't have to worry about paying bills or having a demanding job and a jerk for a boss.

[Gwendoline]

Probably yeah. What pisses me off about romance on tv is that the woman in most of them already has a husband.

[BlackRose97]

I've noticed that infidelity is a top theme in romance stories. And TV/movies in general. Overwhelmingly showing women committing infidelity. There has to be a reason for this.

[caitycat21]

Is it a popular theme? I thought it was pretty unique, this is the first show I’ve seen like this and in Claire’s case at least it’s a bit complicated since she had to initially marry jamie for protection for jack Randyl. It was also prophesied at the beginning of the show that she would be torn between two marriages

[Gwendoline]

Yeah it was bad sub plot. Like it doesn't count as cheating if she's in another period of time.

[caitycat21]

To be fair she never forgets her first husband and keeps the ring even after she married Jamie. I think it adds to the tragedy of it all since she isn’t able to rekindle the relationship with her first husband once she returns

[Gwendoline]

She won't let him touch her and she's replaced him in his heart with a younger man. He does the honourable thing, even takes her to America and supports her to become a doctor but when he finds someone new she won't let him be happy

[caitycat21]

No offense but did you watch the show 😅 she isn’t doing it for no reason, he looks exactly like jack randyll and jack attempted to rape her so it’s probably hard to get past that. She also asks him to divorce her multiple times but he refuses since he’s still clinging to a version of Claire that no longer exists

[Gwendoline]

Still her husband. She cheated in the past and cane back with another man's baby and she treated him like crap. Then got pissed when she found out he was seeing a younger woman.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I mean, yeah, to some extent they do. But they also can show healthy sides of relationships like you would have in real life.

[Massageman]

Not particularly. TV shows/movies follow a predictable pattern for the most part, even if the writers throw in a measure of UNpredictability throughout the series.

[Smashingdoozy]

Of course it's unrealistic, it wouldn't be entertaining if it was realistic

[alice55]

I guess it can be if you never go out of your house and never talk to people

[Nikki1989]

I would imagine so. From what I hear, they are very cheesy.

[ihateTaylorSwift]

yeah, in tv shows
guys do more chasing
compared to real life

[Adel50]

Yes. And I believe it is one of the reasons why many marriages (and relationships) fail. Unrealistic expectations.

[Jamie05rhs]

I think it depends on the show. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

[Emmytexrex]

Yh it does it makes people think it's all rosy and all happly ever after but how do you sustain a happly ever after relationship compromise

[msc545]

Not entirely. I once had a relationship that was a lot like ones you see in romance films - along with the obligatory tragic ending as well.

[Crazzyyworld]

Movie is movie. Reality is sex drug murder. U need to watch documentary instead. They show crime drama

[beefcakebradybatson]

Yes, and there are no Blossom-Brady (beautiful buxom blonde and GQ cover boy handsome older black man) couples in romance dramas.

[LiamJHayden]

Novels and movies often show a fantasy scenario that rarely comes close to the daily reality.

[KittygosMeoWW]

I don’t think so lol I’m able to take the good and be realistic.

[rebeliouse]

totally disney etc has a lot to answerphone most girls walk around in cloud cucoo land

[TheRealPepperPotts]

Yes.

[Graptemys79]

Absolutely they do.

[Djaay]

Romance is LUST. Yes they do

[BLP11520]

Yes , men are not like that

[eagle1951]

i don't think so

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think so.

[Neallyaa]

Yes fr

[jahaims]

Duh.

[Shihab_91]

Sure thing

[Slim57]

And sex yeah