What do you think of a woman who helps her guy financially when he's struggling?

Question

Curious what y'all think.

nice-girl · Accepted Answer

She is screwing herself. At least he should be her husband, not just "a guy".
She can help him by being supportive though, like telling him something like "Honey I'm sure you will figure this out" and that's it.
And also never offer advice for a man about this topic.
My sister helped her ex financially and she also pays more than him for shared activities with her current boyfriend. I tell her all the time to stop it but she doesn't understand.
First boyfriend: wouldn't even return the money that he took from her as a debt after they broke up until his father returned them to her.

ludorock · Accepted Answer

I did this my my partner. He needed to go to school and I had a great job at the time so I supported the both of us and paid for his school. Now he has a better paying job but my job offers better benefits so we both make money but we're both on my health insurance plan. I think it's great when a couple can work together to do what's best for both of them and support each other in loving and meaningful ways.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It depends on the circumstances and person you're lending it to. It can be a nice gesture. But when it comes to helping people you know out, regardless of who it is, friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, family, I would recommend that you attach NO expectations for it. Meaning make sure you are ok to help them out (not putting yourself in danger), and DO NOT expect to get it back from them. If they do pay you back, great! But for your own peace of mind, don't expect to see it again... if you choose to give it to them at all. Lots of people will refuse to when it comes to friends/family, etc.

Dude_777 · Accepted Answer

In most cases (boyfriend), she is a fool and will regret later on. The world is cruel out there, if you give too much, you can never take back!.

But if the guy is truly worth it (his actions show that he is actually trying hard to be financially stable), then little bit occasional support is acceptable, but not regular. Emotional support is way more important though in any case.

The sensible way is to lower his dates costs by introducing home cooked meals, visiting free places, rather than paying for expensive dates etc.

libsaretards · Answer

I admire a woman who does this. The point of a relationship is that you are equal partners, which means there are times in life where one partner may be in an up part of life and needs to help the other. Some stretches of time the woman will have a better stretch of luck than the guy, other times the reverse is true. If a woman is not willing to help her man in times of need, she is not really a loving partner. Helping someone financially is different than enabling. Once she crosses over to enabling, there is a problem. Same the other way around.

Novacane · Answer

Honestly nothing but respect to her, that is a real woman. I know there are so many gender roles that claim a woman shouldn't be the head of the household and how the man needs to be providing, but we need to understand that we live in a time where nothing is cheap and the cost of living had gradually continued to increase. Being able to help a significant other whether male or female shows a lot of courage and dedication to the relationship, we know there are a lot of women that would instantly leave in those situations, as long as the person struggling is doing something to make sure they get out of that whole that all that matters.

Anonymous · Answer

Ha wow this is funny. I'm currently in a real shitty relationship with a slut who makes a good chunk of change and I haven't worked the entire time we've been together. She makes her comments but doesn't change anything. I still get what I want. We live together now but before I moved in she used to give me money towards my rent without me even saying shit about it. She's the type of girl who's always gonna pay no matter who she's with. She's basically a glorified side bitch that's just good sense for me right now

ArrowheadSW · Answer

It is nice of her, as long as the guy isn't taking financial advantage of her. And as long as the woman isn't hurting herself by spending that money on him. I do know a couple like that, where the woman was carrying most of the weight financially. Then when the guy was able to, he paid her $11,000 to make up for it.

Daniela1982 · Answer

It depends if she can afford it or is expecting repayment. It all depends on the strength of your relationship. If you are expecting him to pay you back make out a contract so that if he reneges on paying you back you have something as proof for court. It also depends on how much help he needs or how often. Is he unemployed or does he not want to work? Just don't get yourself in a bind to help someone that you really can't afford to help.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Stupid.
I think it's a bad idea to mix money in a relationship like this and it can lead to resentment.

I would also worry if it's because he has been gambling, been very unlucky, stupid, or just doesn't know how to manage his money, which are both pretty red flags right there.

All depending on how long they've been together, it's just a bad idea, honestly.

I know I wouldn't ask for money in a relationship.

RainbowUnicorn123 · Answer

It's great to help. It means you are caring and loyal, but don't let a man take advantage of you or even take you for granted. If you are helping him by lending him money, but he's not willing to get a job or even keep it then that us a problem. I dated a guy like that who was way older than me. I kept lending him money, but he could never keep a job. He always quit it in a couple of weeks with the same excuse saying he didn't like his co-workers or customers he dealt with, which in some jobs is something you have to get used to at times.

Caramelpie · Answer

That’s fine! I would support my man in all ways he can because I love him. Fuck those who say men only needs to support themselves and their women. A man can face struggles too, losing his job, losing his health, getting emotional or mental problems and need love and support.

Adam1978 · Answer

You should help but you should also expect them to do something about their situation. You shouldn't be enabling a bad lifestyle. Same goes for guys helping their girlfriend. You should expect her to be an adult and get her stuff together.

DCooper · Answer

Same thing as the reverse situation, I think she's likely being used. That stuff doesn't just go one way.

Pyrofox · Answer

I'd say its fine so long as he's ACTUALLY making steps to get his life in order and its not just milking ya cause you have a job and he probably doesn't and or isn't making enough. In which case its time for him to either start seeking to get promoted or better yet a better higher wage job.

Lynx122 · Answer

Nothing wrong with it if the relationship is real but it can be risky. Usually if a girl goes above and beyond the guy is not that into her and she's trying to do anything to make it work and that's a very bad place to be. It might also be good to make a loan contract with no interest just so it's clear that this money needs to be paid back and there's evidence.

Diodoro · Answer

I don't have it in me to accept that, but I don't hold it against the girl for doing it. I will say though, it will put a strain on the relationship for a variety of reasons.

The girls going to start to feel a sense of wanting a return on her investment and the guy is going to have a low-level resentment as well, and it's going to negatively affect his pride

Angelo75 · Answer

I'm find it very nice that she'd do this.
That's what it means to have his back.
However, she shouldn't do this too easily because this might also backfire. He could become a fellow that makes poor decisions "because she can help out anyways".

SndSrn · Answer

I mean if it's a healthy relationship, that just seems really sweet.
In more toxic relationships it can range from controlling to abusive.
I'd say it mostly just depends on the kind of relationship they're having.
But if the relationship is mostly alright, it just seems like a good and healthy thing

Phoenix98 · Answer

That’s between them and really none of my business. In general there’s nothing wrong with it and it can be a genuinely kind gesture of love.

As only someone who actually loved their partner would be with em through the good and bad times and genuinely try and help em.

That being said I prefer to rely on myself and wouldn’t want to accept anyone’s money unless I was truly desperate.

madgoat · Answer

Assuming they're not married, a partner helping the other out financially is at risk of being taken for a ride.
It's fine to do provided you go into it with your eyes open and you agree on what basis you're doing so up front.
You may consider it an investment in your future with them and anticipate payback at some point. But that's a risky game and you may never receive a return.

Anonymous · Answer

Why, what do you think? Why is this even a question? What's the subtext here - she shouldn't?

Anonymous · Answer

Same as I would think of a guy who helps his girlfriend during her financial crises!
“Considerate and a thoughtful soul.”
But I have a question, what do you call a partner, who doesn’t know how to show gratitude for being considerate during tough times? Just inquisitive 🦧👀

Caliguy88 · Answer

Well in college my girlfriend had more money than me so she’d usually pay for popcorn and a movie. As you get older I think that’s shady. And that girl and I dated after college and I think it’s safe to say that some of the dinners I’d take her too made up for the couple years of popcorn in one night. Lol. But she never gave me money. Other than maybe a 20 to pick something up for her. That’s the most a girl has done for me.

Flower7 · Answer

It depends on how well he’s been treating her. If a woman is getting treated badly by the guy and is also paying his bills, something is very wrong.

Cherry234 · Answer

I think that's very generous of her. She's a good and loyal woman and definitely a keeper

JennyDunne · Answer

Is that not just what a relationship is? Y'all both help each-other? Assuming its not always one sided I don't understand why that would be a problem

Ironic_Method · Answer

I can count on one hand the number of times I've cried in my adult life. One such time was when my girlfriend at the time paid off my school loans (which I repaid her back eventually, but still).

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

As long as it’s reciprocated. It doesn’t take long to figure out either if someone is really down and out or if they want to use you for your money.
Their is myriad job openings right now. And after all that money the government gave everyone. All the food they give, no one should be hurting bad.

Nomina · Answer

I think it's great. My mother supported us a lot when my father lost his job. Then he got back on his feet. What was she supposed to do?
Whether the guy or the chick is struggling, it's a good thing to help your partner out.

Mehzmeh · Answer

Not a fan!! I was raised that you never ask your significant other for financial help. Unless you are married or, living together and have things together. But in that case, they already know what’s going on. And both of you should know how to balance and not over spin.

Subarugirl · Answer

I supported my family single handedly while my husband was finishing school. If you're not willing to invest in your relationship should you even be in one?

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Good on her! It's a bit of a shock, honestly because of how rare it is for women to do that, but it's a statement of her generosity and character.

jillybeanns · Answer

If it’s habitual then she’s an enabler. At some point the boyfriend has to WANT to change the situation around sooner than later. But of course, with situations like this are circumstances that have to be considered.

AnggieGirl · Answer

Help? Yeah sure no sweat, I’ll do what I can.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••

Hand outs? No way, not for a moment. You’re on your own like everyone else buds.

exitseven · Answer

I think it is appropriate if he is usually very responsible and has had a run of bad luck. The pandemic has ruined a lot of people and a lot of people have been effected rough no fault of their own.

Hanrej · Answer

I would find her in the company of dragons and unicorns... In fairytales.

Anonymous · Answer

I think she is being nice and helpful, but the guy better be grateful and not choose to become comfortable. If anything, she should feel a bit of embarrassment at the least and should be motivated out of that to work harder and smarter to get financially stable and then to start scaling up the social ladder.

serious · Answer

Don't see anything wrong with that. Sure a man will appreciate that. However, it would be more appropriate if the woman helps the man if he asks her help regarding this.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

That’s fine, but there’s always a limit/line don’t you think? Is he taking active steps to better himself financially?

Lliam · Answer

I think the guy has no dignity and that she's being unwise. Why would she be with someone who has no prospects?

qwert1234 · Answer

That she's a great person. If they are partners, he's lucky to have her.

silkjames · Answer

It's cool I help her she help me we a team I see noo problem in it unless someone taken advantage thats cool.

Apulu_3 · Answer

Nice relationship and you can easily know she isn't a gold digger unless the boy is.

Anonymous · Answer

Worth marrying for starters and not in gold digger way. Shows she really cares. And wants him to survive 😭

Lifelive96 · Answer

What should i think? Of course she can help. Being in relationship means being with someone in their both bad and good days.

Rob70 · Answer

I think it's great! As long as she is not being taken advantage of and is re-paid. Everyone has fallen on hard times and could have used a hand up.

Anonymous · Answer

Help him at his lowest and watch him shit on you when he’s at his highest.

PralineCream · Answer

I'd say be careful, that's a prime environment to get taken advantage of

genericname85 · Answer

I think she's and actual "partner" and not just a girlfriend/wife. Cause partnership is about both parties being strong enough to help the other stand up when they fall...

Anonymous · Answer

It is okay to be helpful but don';t let your man or woman take it for granted or take advantage of it. You will feel used then.

slatyb · Answer

Depends. How long have they been together? Why is he struggling?

Pumpkinspice009 · Answer

Nothing really, I Would help but it’s not a pleasant moment to see from a guy, takes away that manly aspect of him!

m33lad · Answer

Life lessons are learned people are crafted and they grow in hard times every time someone trouble you help them out they grew up to be a 40-year-old child.

boxxie2002 · Answer

That's awesome... it should go the same way if the roles are reversed in the future as well.  I find it hard to ask for financial help or receive it whether it be a woman, man, parents, friends

NawfZumbi · Answer

Depends. If it’s a every blue moon or team effort type of thing. For family sake I think it shows character and willingness to make it work. If it’s every week giving money for cigs or booze. It’s enabling. She is supporting a man child.

Jem38 · Answer

No big deal for me. I'm happy to help ! As long as he is not taking advantage of me.

jshm2 · Answer

Pretty weak, depending on situation. Helping is human, but helping too much - is just silly.

Jlegacy · Answer

If he is her destiny, no problem. If je isn't, red alert.

IveGotNoName · Answer

Normal partner. If you care for someone you should help them when they're in need, if you are able.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

He needs to make some lifestyle changes and work to better himself.

invalid1 · Answer

I think that she is a princess. only if he pays her back. if he doesn't then she is a dummy

larry69 · Answer

Should not be happening unless the guy got major illness or disabled. Men should support their own selves and women.

krispr329 · Answer

This to me feels like this woman truly loves this man in question. It's an act of kindness on her part, usually in my country women aren't like this.

What do you think of a woman who helps her guy financially when he's struggling?

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Are someone who believes in helping your partner financially, such as loan money if need be, help them buy a car, help them with their credit score?

What do you think of a woman who helps her guy financially when he's struggling?

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