Why do we put up with so much abuse from someone we love so much?

[Anonymous]

My wife she snaps and goes psychotic it’s so hard on me 😟 I don’t no what I can do

[Finchie40]

Ok I am going to answer this best I can without trying to confuse you lol basically it’s hard for most people to accept to themselves that they are wrong but it’s so easy to accept when we are right , we easily point are fingers at others for things that have gone wrong , and when things do go right we accept that in ourselves and feel at peace ,, we thrive off of positive energy , Your wife’s abusive behavior is something she is protecting on to you , because she can’t handle the fact that she is wrong and it’s easier for her to blame you then it is to blame herself , we put up with the abuse because we love that person , sometimes we have to become punching bags to people we love , just the way it goes , When we are angry we usually unleash on our partners to vent out our frustrations , Girls are wired different then men , their minds race a 1000 times more than men’s does , A girl has a list of things that she is thinking about where us guys we just have a few, A females brain is different then a guys brain studies have shown. Why it’s hard for most people to know if they are being abused or just dealing with projections , but the thing is If you feel like a constant punching bag to your partner then sometimes it’s best to walk away and move on, don’t stay with someone that isn’t making you feel loved and wanted , life is too short to tolerate abuse from someone we gave our heart to , we can still love people without being with them, It’s not good for your health to stay with someone that is making you feel like constant shit all the time. But if it’s only once in awhile then it’s normal , if she wasn’t yelling at you and putting you down that means she doesn’t care about you what so ever I know it sounds crazy but that’s how girls are lol So ask yourself this does she still have sex with you does she still show affection towards you , if she does than more thank likely she still loves you , if she isn’t doing those things to you then you have a right to decide on whether you want to stay with her or leave.

[EmbraceThePain]

Well, if you think about the answer to this question I think you’ll most certainly find the answer.


A lot of potential reasons, but perhaps the one that stands out and the one that may be the most important is that you love your wife and have a relationship with her that you do not have with any other human being on the planet today, yesterday, or tomorrow.


This is special, she is special.


So, your tolerance for what she does that you may not like is framed around her being a special human being to you. A human being that you may want to raise children with and become part of your lineage or family.


A person like this, to most people, will certainly gain some favoritism as opposed to someone more random or more of a stranger.

[lilyanony1]

We make excuses for the behaviour of others, in the hope things will get better. When we lone someone we assign their behaviour to circumstances simply because they showed us a different happier side of themselves.
It's like a drug. Sometimes it goes back to the old but there's the flip side where it doesn't and in reality we really need to consider if that is okay, longterm.

If you value commitment you may treat it like a in sickness and in health type of situation but like anything when we're sick we seek help, does your partner seek to gain help for the difficulties they're facing?

[Anonymous]

Because the moment someone falls in love harder than the other person, common sense decides to leave their mind and body and the more vested person starts to reason with the voices in their head for the behaviour of the other person and tend to excuse it as much as possible and end up facing the abuse.
Snap back and move on. Give her a taste of her medicine and make sure it’s bitter than any that she has ever tasted so that it’s unforgettable for her forcing her to be more humane and less psychotic with people around her in the future.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Well, talk to her about seeking therapy and offer to go with her
also remember when the abuse starts, what you want to do is
move to another room or go outside of the house so she can't
come after you with abusing you more, remember you never
want to watch her hit herself or take objects to harm herself cause
she can call the police and say you done it to you when you can
be an innocent person yes this can happen so my advice is always
try your best to not allow her to upset you or make you mad cause
anything can happen

[Anonymous]

You have a few things working against you:

1. Love makes us stupid
2. Time invested makes it hard to end it
3. You married her, and by doing so you gave her the power in the relationship (see #1). So to get out, it's going to cost you... a lot
4. She knows all this, and uses it to her advantage

So to answer the question of what you can do: grow a backbone and let her know that treating you that way is unacceptable. Worst case is that you divorce, which seems inevitable one way or another if things keep going. Best case is you regain her respect, which will save your marriage. You have to take the leadership role and refuse to accept being disrespected. If you don't, you're either gonna keep being miserable, or your marriage will fail

[Diodoro]

I forgot who said it, but this quote describes it perfectly

"We only accept criticism to the level at which we criticize ourselves"

You accept abuse because in your head you talk yourself down to that level. The moment she goes farther than you would yourself, then it'll be a problem for you.

But as long as she stays under that line of the level of self criticism you give yourself you will take it. Long-winded way of saying it's entirely based on your self esteem.

[Honesttguy]

Not we. Its you who puts up with it. I have boundaries, you dont. I will be there for loved ones until certain point and i will make it clear to them, if they step over then its their choice for us to go separate ways. Simple.

[HOAAH]

For me it is because I think that maybe if I stayed and took in the abuse, then they will not hate me and leave me.

[Hairylegs222]

I don't and wouldn't. Moving on to finding a person to have a happy healthy relationship with is important. Staying in a bad relationship for you is your fault and your choice. If you like being treated like shit than good luck 👍

[Hermes-Paris]

Did you know there are exactly 2,893,421,598 married men on the planet and 2,893,421.598 have all asked the same question.

[Anonymous]

Boy y’all trolling the shit out of this damn section on gag. after while ain’t nobody gone be in this section responding to nobody. I seen this posted zillions of time under both genders. Half of this stuff come from reddit.

[Anonymous]

try pills I tried therapy you know what the ultimate therapy is leaving the motherfuker before they leave you

[TheSpaceGnome]

I wish I could offer a suggestion, but I can't be around psychotic people, it makes me feel unsafe. Dating one would make me feel unloved.

[The_Outlaw]

No amount of love is ever worth ANY type of ABUSE. And personally, that isn't love. It's toxic, damaging and not even REMOTELY worth it.

[exitseven]

You just answered your own question. It is because we love them.

[lovedejj_xo]

I don’t I leave I won’t put up with abuse. Not enough love in the world I love myself enough to know what I deserve.

[okeydoke]

Couples therapy or get out. No one should have to deal with abuse.

[EaterPeter]

Therapy, all the best. I have loved that life. Get the f out of there.

[EaterPeter]

Lived not loved*

[EaterPeter]

And loved to. Who the f I am kidding. Sex was great.

[EaterPeter]

And loved too

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[legalboxers]

Everyone has a breaking point. We think they will change

[Anonymous]

The Legal System doesn't favor guys in this situation where I live. I don't where you live, but I would suggest recording her as proof of what your dealing with. Perhaps her hormones are out of whack?

[kyleelyn199723]

Love is something serious

[Ninani]

Because it's not love, but addiction.

[ChiPaPa]

You have to get a divorce.

[Adagio]

that's the way it is with people we love

[bamesjond0069]

Because you're a beta.

[noohair]

She did not exhibit this before you were married?

[dragoblack]

Fear of being alone