Can we be so damaged from abuse that we can’t enjoy an honest relationship?

[Anonymous]

I’ve had a few relationships in my life and they were all terrible. Then when something good comes along, I’m simply not interested in seeing where it goes because I’m numb from previous non enjoyed experiences?

Updates

+1 y

I’ve also learnt that not everyone craves a relationship or any form of intimacy and that relationship exhaust these people and are annoying to put up with.

[MrOracle]

Yes, this is very common (unfortunately), and is a result of making poor/unhealthy choices in partners - which most commonly happens because those were the examples that person saw growing up.

You can heal and recover from this, but just like a badly broken leg, it's going to require therapy, which needs to be not merely attended, but actively participated in, even when it's scary or painful, which it will almost certainly be for a while. Have you ever seen what a person with a shattered leg has to go through to be able to walk again? It's uncomfortable and painful and stressful, but it's the only way you get back to normal. The same is true for emotional trauma, except it's much less physical and more mental/emotional.

This is also why it's so important to be taught and told the REAL TRUTH about how the world works, rather than pretty lies that feel good in the moment but set people up for years of pain and trauma, because their expectations don't match reality. Many people get offended by the truth, but the truth allows you to manage reality far better and with far fewer mistakes and far less pain.

Therapy should, in part, help you open your eyes to the true reality of the world, and the role you play in it. It will help you evaluate your past decisions and teach you how to make better ones. You won't like hearing these things at first, but you have to keep going and working it and participating, because if you do, you'll come out the other side in a FAR healthier state and FAR better equipped to take on the world.

[Anonymous]

What are you talking about? You did enjoyed being with trash men. Which is why you're not interested in decent men.

[petitedollbabee]

Yes, that can happen. Therapy is the next step to being able to enjoy and feel content in a healthy relationship.

[virtualwasp]

life is what you make it.

[Anonymous]

It's likely trauma

[jahaims]

That is the case for a lot of people

[In_Trance]

Yeah