My boyfriend and I broke up after we got into an argument and yelled at me. He told me that if I were a man he'd have hit me. What are you thoughts?

[athenati]

Ok so let me explain. My boyfriend (or ex-bf) and I got into this wild argument after he told me some weird stuff that upset me. He said that he's been acting strange because lately he feels that I have a little or no interest at all in our relationship because I got back to school and have so much to do. I explained to him that he's wrong and that he should've come to me and shared his feelings with me rather than giving me mixed signals. He didn't understand what I was saying because he was focused too much on how he was feeling so it got heated and I yelled at him. He took it the wrong way and told me that I was being disrespectful towards him but I didn't listen, I told him to yell back at me if he wants in order to understand how he was feeling, he keeps putting up emotional walls with everyone and it upsets me. I can't understand him that way. We got back home and so he said to me these two things that got into me so much and hurt me. First one was "you've become to trust yourself a little be too much" (because I told him to yell back at me if he wants to) so my response was "you like hiding too much. I just wanna understand you, you should've come to me earlier and talked about your feelings with me for a better discussion." He only picked up the hiding part and felt attacked so the second thing was "If you're a man I would have shown you how much I like hiding" meaning he would have hit me. That was pretty terrifying to me because I have many issues with violence since my childhood and he knows that I am absolutely against it and don't like anyone implying it especially to me. Now we broke up. Please what are you thoughts? I don't wanna leave the love of my life but I also am confused and torn apart from what happened.

Updates

+1 y

Please guys I just wanna know your own thoughts and also would like to know man's vision on the issue.

[Truthatanycost]

"If you're a man I would have shown you how much I like hiding" meaning he would have hit me.''

When someone tells you who they are... listen to them!

[Anonymous]

If you can't talk to each other how can you have a relationship?

[athenati]

Well communication is sometimes complicated. What are your suggestions?

[Opinion Owner]

I think women are attracted to men who dont show their feelings because they are a mystery and maybe a little bit dangerous or whatever and then they complain that they complain that the man doesn't share his feelings.

You can't have your cake and eat it too, if you want someone that you can communicate with then you have to value that in the first place.

[Jessica405]

If he said that, you are better off without him. It shows he could have a latent violent streak.

[Anonymous]

My guess would be you nag a lot and don't let things go.
Seeing as you're now broke up and still talking about it

[athenati]

I don't nag a lot. Trust me, he does. It's his first real relationship. He has many problems with opening up. He talked to me and said he were torn apart as well and that he doesn't know what to. He's expecting me to go after him and apologize for everything although I feel that we both need to do that and I need from him to understand that he hurt me by telling me that crap. That's all
And of course I still am talking about it it has been one year of greatness him and I and I still am not ready to let go.

[Opinion Owner]

If it's that great then stop having expectations on how he should act and forgive him without the required apology. Or don't. Whatever

[Anonymous]

he's not the love of your life not if someone wants to hit you. second you're at fault to for screaming at him. two wrongs don't make a right. you can't force someone to open up they have to do it on their own terms and in their own time and in their own way

[Iron_Man]

That’s not the first have a man said that you guys will make up soon wait it out

[Iron_Man]

Sorry voice command error

[slatyb]

You did the right thing. He's our of control.

[IncognitoBandito]

He sounds like a jerk

[athenati]

I guess he's not. In our culture men have many issues with communication and toxic masculinity is very much appreciated. So I don't blame him. He never hit me or talked to me in an agressive "masculine" or whatever way he's been very sweet. I've been working with him on that and he's grown so much but sometimes, like this one time, I just can't wash all of it away and forget it about it.

[anylolone]

Bad sign.