How do you become intimate and sexual with someone again who left you? ?

[Anonymous]

Knowing they made love to someone else and got what u lost out on. How do u do that? I know some people do but for do y'all do it again with them without the traumatizing thoughts of what they did in bed and the fact they made love. How do you not let it get to y'all? I have an ex who cheated on me with another girl and he came back so how do I sleep with him again or be accepting that he made love to another woman. I'm frightened to death to. Any tips? I have mixed feelings part of me wants to part of me doesn't.

[MatthewA]

What’s stopping him from doing that again. People who cheat will likely cheat again. If another female is more “attractive” and shows him attention then he may respond to the opportunity. If he truly likes you make him wait for anything sexual related if he stays he may of changed. But still be skeptical cheaters play the game their way so save your feelings for someone who truly cares.


Could you please rate my recent?

[Asker]

Not the question. How do become intimate with tht guy without the painful memory of knowing they had sex and they were intimate. How do u sleep with them after knowing that?

[MatthewA]

Ohh sorry you worded that a little weird. Well that’s honestly a really tough question. I think that your overthinking just let the relationship flow and just see where it takes you. If your really worried just try and find a virgin. It’s bias to think like that because I’m sure you have become intimate with a person prior to your current.

[Asker]

Over thinking what? Explain

[MatthewA]

Well the majority of people have been in a previous relationship and I see that as something we must just accept. It would be very rare to find someone and just never try out anyone else.

[Asker]

Yeah. But it makes you feel worthless like your not good enough. Llke th either girl was better bc he left you for her

[Asker]

The other girl I meant

[MatthewA]

Why care what one person thinks if he doesn’t believe in you find someone’s house does their not worth your time. You know your worth and he obviously doesn’t find someone willing to care for you.

[MatthewA]

Who* not house

[Asker]

Well he unblocked me on snap chat last month and he's still with her. Why would he unblock me there if he's in a commited relationship with her especially since I'm the ex. You would think he would wanna keep me blocked on everything.

[MatthewA]

Possibly to make you jealous, I unfollowed the girl I like because it hurts to see her with someone. Even if you did like him he is just going to play with your feelings if he’s in a “committed relationship”. Find someone who your their world not just some backup plan or someone to have a meet up with.

[Asker]

Well he doesn't look happy with her in a Pic I saw recently.

[Asker]

And in general most pics with her I've seen online he looks miserable with her

[nachosaresexy]

Sounds like too much baggage that you're not ready to leave behind, and I don't mean that as a criticism. Trust your heart/instincts.

[Asker]

Well if you think about it. It's traumatizing that the thought of the girl gets the sex you don't get it the intimacy the cuddling touching flirting that u didn't get anymore. I personally don't see how anybody can have sex let the person touch them agree knwning they touched the other girl ate em out etc. The fear and pain and reality of that scares the shit out of me. What do u think?

[nachosaresexy]

I hear ya. He violated the shiz outta your trust and so everything you're feeling seems fair/normal. It's also natural to want to make things go back to the way they were, and find an old comfort zone, but that ship might've sailed.

[Asker]

Yeah it's caused me Major depression and complex ptsd. At the same time I seen in his pics he doesn't look happy with her even though he is with her he doesn't look happy. And he unblocked me on snap chat last month so I don't know why that would be when he's still with her. What do u think?

[nachosaresexy]

Sounds to me like you should move on, at least as a temporary break and maybe permanent. What y'all had was probably nice at one point, but it crashed & broke & maybe even burned. How you supposed to fix that?

[Asker]

Yeah. He unblocked me on snap chat last month while he's still with her too. Why would a guy do that while they are still with the girl?

[Flower7]

Just don't continue things with him. It's best to never take back a cheater, especially since you're still haunted by the horrible things he did to you. With the bad feelings still there, moving forward would be next to impossible. It would be best to start fresh with someone new.

[Asker]

I understand that completely. I have cptsd from it. And for example how do you think people move on from the fact the person cheated and decide to sleep with them anyways despite knowing their dick was I someone else
It's a horrible traumatic thing.

[Flower7]

I have no idea how people stay with cheaters. I was cheated on before, but I broke up with the person very soon after finding out about it. So I don't know of any other way to deal with a cheater.

[Asker]

He unblocked me on snap chat too last month while he's still with her. Why do u think that is?

[Flower7]

It probably doesn't mean very much. Unblocking someone isn't the same as starting a conversation. It's not really a big deal. And if he WAS trying to talk to you at that time, it's actually a bad sign. Because that would show he's still a cheater because of trying to start a relationship with you while still dating someone else. It would show that he hasn't changed.

[Asker]

Yeah. But if he's with her he shouldn't unblock me on social media if he's is ok truly into her. So it does mean something. What do u think

[Flower7]

Could mean he was interested in cheating on her.

[Wise4myage]

He cheated on you, so why bother even giving him a second chance in the first place? Save your dignity and move on.

[FilmGuy93]

Do I have any tips? How about, "don't do it?"

[Asker]

Ok but how do you take the thought of knowing she got all the relationship benefits you lost. It's An insulting feeling. I have mixed feelings part of me still loves him wants to other part of me is scared knowing I lost out.

[FilmGuy93]

But any relationship benefits you get now come at the cost of knowing he will never truly respect you. He can't possibly take you seriously if he knows he can cheat and you'll let him get away with it. You haven't lost out on anything but more heartbreak.

[Asker]

He unblocked me on snap chat last month and he is still with her why is that?

[FilmGuy93]

Because he's using you for attention

[Asker]

He doesn't look happy with her in most pics Pics I've seen with her Yeah so but he's still with her. Would u consider that to be a toxic relationship?

[FilmGuy93]

It's certainly toxic, but that doesn't mean anything good for you. He can be in toxic relationships with 2 women.

[Asker]

Cam you message me I wanna show you something

[FilmGuy93]

Your profile is anonymous, you'll have to get in touch with me before I can message you.

[Asker]

How do I do that

[FilmGuy93]

Click to view my profile, and there will be an option to follow me at the top of the screen.

[Asker]

Message me

[FilmGuy93]

Just did!

[FilmGuy93]

Check your messages

[LiamSawyer]

I don't

[Asker]

Huh don't what

[LiamSawyer]

I don't become intimate and sexual with any woman that dumps me.