Why are you single?

[Anonymous]

I'm ugly and obviously not confident so I can't get a partner.

I'm not ugly but I'm not confident enough, kind of shy to approach

Haven't found the right person

Belong to LGBT community ( so it's hard to find partner obviously )

I'm a narcissist, so I end up turn off the people who first liked me but not anymore because of my narcissistic personality.

I deliberately reject people who proposes me to feel better about myself.

I love being single

Updates

+1 y

Too many replies it's hard to choose an MHO. So I let the AI decide!

Thank all you sharing you opinions and polls.

[NewgodX]

Coz I choose to be

After my parents died when I was not 18, my relatives arranged my marriage which lasted less thah 3 months,
After that I decided to ban all females from my life
I thought it would be better to just be single and happy more important safe, I don't mind being alone after my parents were gone I got used to it
I have no friends in real life
I have employees colleagues and business partners also people I know coz of my work but no one I can call a friend , and I think not having a friend is not a bad thing

[sensible27]

I kill people that I love, obviously

[Corina_J]

I am single because I don't want to endure any more heartbreaks.

I'm almost 50yrs old and that's all I've ever experienced is the feeling of loss.

So, it's just easier, less stressful, more peaceful to stay away from people, even tho it's what my heart craves the most.

[sensible27]

If that's all you've ever experienced and you've never tried it how do you know?

But he who dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.

In some persuits rich are those who dared

[Corina_J]

That's my point.

I have tried many, many times.

And I guess it's just need to quit while I'm behind.

[sensible27]

I don't mean this in a rude way but maybe your selection and filteration criteria was wrong?

[Corina_J]

Yeah, I've wondered that.

Also I kinda feel "warped" (for lack of a better term) cuz I've never known for myself what a functional nontoxic relationship is supposed to look/feel like.

So yeah, I realize I've got plenty of self-reflection and inner work cut out for me to unlearn and retrain, a most daunting task indeed.

[sensible27]

Is it because you've never experienced a non toxic healthy friendship too?

"A person who thinks all the time
Has nothing to think about except thoughts
So, he loses touch with reality
And lives in a world of illusions

By thoughts I mean specifically, chatter in the skull
Perpetual and compulsive repetition of words
Of reckoning and calculating
I'm not saying that thinking is bad
Like everything else, It's useful in moderation

A good servant, but a bad master
And all so called civilized peoples
Have increasingly become crazy and self destructive
Because, through excessive thinking
The have lost touch with reality

That's to say
We confuse signs
With the real world

This is the beginning of meditation

Most of us would have
Rather money than tangible wealth
And a great occasion is somehow spoiled for us unless photographed
And to read about it the next day in the newspaper
Is oddly more fun for us than the original event...

This is a disaster
For as a result of confusing the real world of nature with mere signs
We are destroying nature
We are so tied up in our minds that we've lost our senses

Time to wake up
What is reality?
Obviously no one can say
Because it isn't words
It isn't material, that's just an idea
Reality is

The point cannot be explained in words

I'm not trying to put you down
It's an expression of you as you are
One must live
We need to survive, to go on
We must go on"

[Corina_J]

Yeah basically.

[Rachel794]

There’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship and there’s nothing wrong with being single. I want to be so in love with my self love first before letting anyone else in. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a lack of confidence.

[TwinTonyz]

I don't try anymore.

Everything I see and learn points to an end where I cannot possibly be good enough for anyone. When my dating pool unilaterally demands I exude confidence, but a lack of confidence is the only reason I'm successful professionally, what can I do. I've seen people with nothing to show kill the dating game because intent outweighs results. If you believe you're the best person in the room, people will either think that's true, or they are invisible to you.

I'm the other side. Nothing I do can be good enough, my successes are just luck, if I accomplish something I must forget it and move onto something else. In that, I could give someone the whole world given enough time, but because I don't do it confidently, she'd rather date the janitor.

[InferiorElegy]

Been told how ugly I am my entire life.

Rejected by every female I've asked out.

Got stood up on a blind date even though she showed up to the restaurant.

Online dating wasted too much money over too many years @ 0% success rate.

Got way too many harsh rejections.
Rejections started to hurt physically. Lost all confidence and self esteem. Came to realize I am too ugly and will never be anyone's good enough. Gave up on trying to date. Vowed to never approach a female with intent to date or allow myself to have crushes on females. Depression and other mental illnesses surfaced hard. Tried killing myself multiple times. Vowing to let myself die at 35 if I can't make myself successful and have a career I enjoy working in by 35. That is why I am single. Too ugly for any female and I've given up completely because having false hope hurts more and doesn't help, also it seems as though I die next year.

[TheSpaceGnome]

C. It's really hard to find my type because they are at home most of the time creating art, gaming, doing research, composing music, building model kits and computers, watching anime, sci-fi and fantasy movies, and nature documentaries, or otherwise doing things that aren't going to result in meeting new people.

For some reason that type of woman doesn't use dating sites, and hides from online gamers, so the only 2 likely ways to meet them are cut out.

But thats the type of girlfriend I want a serious relationship with.

[libsaretards]

I'm incredibly busy getting my life together and do not want to juggle an additional responsibility at this time.

[Asker]

True!

[charlean]

To put it simply, because I’m very mentally unstable at the moment lol


I wouldn’t say it’s significantly hard to date LGBTQ+, at least in western places.

[VanillaSalt]

But isn’t being a woman always gonna make you mentally unstable?

[charlean]

LOL I’d like to think that’s not the case

[VanillaSalt]

*like to think *

Wishful thinking never got anyone anywhere. You decide who you are and you choose to be… “mentally unstable”.

Your not mentally unstable. A crazy person cannot see their psychosis they think their sane and the rest of the world is insane. You know what your are. You recognize your faults. Your just too lazy to do anything about it. It’s like me deciding to do the dishes and keep them clean from now on. I’ll do a round of dishes when I wanna fix it but everyone knows in a few days the damn dishes will be stacked up again. You’ll work on it but everyone knows in a few days, weeks, months you’ll be back to being unstable… sorry let’s call it what it is. You’ll be back to being a selfish bitch whom don’t care about the people that SHOULD matter and is too narcissistic to think she should improve for herself and others.

If I’m wrong I apologize but the fact is that’s most God damn people these days.

[charlean]

Yeah, you’re incredibly wrong so apology accepted.

You can be mentally unstable and be aware of it. And just because you’re aware of it, doesn’t mean you can automatically “fix” yourself. It’s a process which I’m in but being in recovery/learning management of it doesn’t automatically make you not mentally unstable anymore.

[VanillaSalt]

I can’t even imagine being insane… I’m too damn busy trying to show the world how insane it is.

[charlean]

And there lies your mistake. Stop wasting your time telling “insane” your rude and frankly, uneducated opinions

[VanillaSalt]

I think you missed the point of my comment

“A crazy person cannot see their psychosis they think their sane and the rest of the world is insane.”

“I can’t even imagine being insane… I’m too damn busy trying to show the world how insane it is.”

[charlean]

Stop wasting your time telling “insane” PEOPLE* is what I meant

Ok so you’re implying that you yourself is mentally unstable / “insane” ? 🤨 But if you’re implying it (which suggests you have awareness of it) it means you’re not actually “insane” according to your opinions so what is your logic here

[VanillaSalt]

Not necessarily. Just because a crazy person would see themselves as sane and the rest of the world as insane does not necessarily mean that everyone that thinks that the world is insane is also insane.

[charlean]

Okay

I don’t get how it all stemmed off from being a woman makes you “insane” though, unless that was a joke

[VanillaSalt]

Was it a joke yes is it a joke no… women are actually insane we set beside a man lol.

[charlean]

um ok

[ceciliamrs222]

because i’m young and i don’t like being controlled i prefer being alone having fun with boys than stuck with one person and i have more things to care about like school, studies and exams, so me in first place…

[RK42018]

Be my girlfriend hun i won't control you i don't mind if you have sex with other guys even im actually fine if you do just have fun with them but lets build love with each other while you do

[Birdlegs]

She’s a whole 15 year old. Also build love while she’s having sex with other guys for fun? 🤨

[ceciliamrs222]

this guys is fucking weird, i blocked him as well.

[ceciliamrs222]

guy*

[Anonymous]

Single by choice. Plenty of options but no desire to commit. I get all my needs met without the drama and pain of a committed relationship with a woman.

[Asker]

Agree!

[Anonymous]

Because I’m incredibly hot, intelligent and successful at the same time.

[Grubhub]

Yeah they say men are intimidated by that

[NicoletteXO]

@Grubhub only the men who are themselves not hot, intelligent or successful are intimidated by it (which, unfortunately, is a lot).

[Opinion Owner]

@NicoletteXO exactly it’s a lot of them so then it’s challenging. Like I really gotta be careful the circles I surround myself

[zeitgeist057]

@Grubhub it can also be “intimidating”/off-putting if the hot, intelligent, successful person (female or male) is full of themselves and constantly bragging about how amazing they are.
(Not that anonymous here is doing that, but it is a thing)

[NicoletteXO]

@zeitgeist057 If they are, that would be a matter of low EQ, and yes, obviously offputting. However, I have found in general that men often get very uncomfortable if there is any suggestion whatsoever that the woman may be more intelligent or successful than them in any field. Even if they ask you direct questions, and you are simply respond to the questions, they often feel this is 'showing off'.

As a result, I often keep my qualifications, knowledge and successes to myself around men because they actually can't handle it. I'll be honest, it's a social strategy - because in general, the dumber they think I am, the more amazing they think I am. I'm not even kidding. It's actually kind of heartbreaking.

The thing is, I have met a small number of next-level, genuine "polymath genius" men in my life (I was engaged to one for 8 years). These men are exceptions to the rule above, because they are not threatened by my success or my mind. That said, I've encountered less than ten of these exceptional men, ever. It is the most ecstatic relief - since I don't have to pretend to be less than I am.

[NicoletteXO]

*responding

[zeitgeist057]

@NicoletteXO that was both a sad post in that the vast majority of men are so disappointing, but also heartening in that you've met what I would consider a fair number of "geniuses" :) . So I'm both sad and happy for you; I guess that's life, though, with its ups and downs.

I wish you lots of luck in the future, finding people (male and female both, so you have a community) that you can be yourself around.

[NicoletteXO]

@zeitgeist057 Thank you, that's really sweet. I'll take that :)

[zeitgeist057]

@NicoletteXO it's the best we can ask for from those around us, that last part you said about "not pretending to be less than I am". It's my belief that one of the most important things in a partner, a friend, a parent, or pretty much anyone I'm going to let into my "personal kingdom", is that they are not just accepting of who you are and your potential, but that they LOVE who you are and ENCOURAGE you to be "more like yourself".

Conversely, that's also what I do my best to offer all the wonderful people in my life that I love and cherish. I just want them to know I'm rooting for them and I'm their fan in life.

[NicoletteXO]

@zeitgeist057 Well, that is a beautiful orientation. I fully agree with you - the desire to support growth in the other is the essence of a worthwhile connection. I can't wait to feel that kind of support again in my romantic life - and to be able to give it in return.

[Opinion Owner]

@NicoletteXO Nicolette don’t hide your intelligence but also don’t form a whole identity around the fact you’re smart because you’re more than that.
I get you, I’ve been on that boat too where i’m being less smart but my heart my soul gets depressed because your body don’t appreciate or like you doing that. After a while you feel like you’re not being your true self (not a smart, fact checker and A star student, your whole self haha) and now I’m like forget it I will shine I will be me if you’re intimidated at least you may be inspired but I’m not going to shrink because that’s not attractive either. And I think the man God has for me is a man that will see me shining and he’ll be in love because he’ll be supporting the higher me.

I hope this helps because reading what you said makes me sad, and I’ve been there and I still fight it sometimes but after fighting for so long i start seeing things differently

[Laura456]

Haven't gotten around to meeting the right person mainly because I haven't opened up to anyone yet. I'm waiting for the right time when I feel ready, after I figure out myself first.

[zeitgeist057]

This sounds like a mature approach, I hope you meet someone who has also taken the time

[Laura456]

@zeitgeist057 Thanks, I hope so too :)

[Anonymous]

I've been burnt pretty badly by a previous relationship and I ended up hurting my ex before that as well.
So no I need time to heal and be by myself as well as I'm afraid to end up getting hurt again or to end up hurting someone else.

[penneva581]

Bc I don't go out of my way to look for a relationship. Also I'm not ready. I feel like I have lot of developing to do before I'm mentally capable of being with another person. Also I'm not easily attracted to people

[TwinkleLily5]

I like my freedom and I am very picky with whom I spend my time or share my energy with.

[zeitgeist057]

I agree freedom is wonderful. It's also why I never had children.

[TsundereMatrix]

I’m always taken advantage of. The guys that do seem to like me have all sorts of addictions and mental issues that I just don’t want to deal with. The rest just want sex.

[VanillaSalt]

Because women suck and I’m not dumb enough to step in that pile of shit -.-

[abcdef-z]

I only accept healthy relationship
If he’s not fit in that healthy relationship, I’d better stay single then

[zeitgeist057]

Good for you having healthy boundaries! What are some of the things you look for to define a heathy relationship?

[abcdef-z]

Not one side giving too much (love, time, loyalty, etc) and the other just receiving or even demanding. Equal give and take then be appreciative of each other. I guess, emotional maturity matters

[zeitgeist057]

Thanks for the great answer, balance is so important for individuals and couples. :) I agree that sounds healthy, but I also observe there is usually an imbalance. Like there has to be a dance, constantly keeping things from falling out of balance.

[abcdef-z]

Yes, I agree. Imho, it’s better for us to find a partner who has emotional maturity. If he/she can recognise, process and express emotions in healthy way, keeping the balance should be easy

[calvisius]

Because I'm pretty good by my own, we en don't approach me, I don't know how to approach them and I haven't found someone I honestly want to spend a lot of time with

[aintnocandle]

Can you elaborate on F “I deliberately reject people who proposes me to feel better about myself.” This is interesting and I’d love to hear more about this.

[m33lad]

Because girls are married to Tiktok! I live in South Asia, and i lm not into prostitutes or girls were one before. And here stupidity is protected.
And now with those dangerous C0ViD jabs! That leaks from vaxxed people.
The risk is too high.

[Asker]

Nah! Not girls on tik tok do such kind of stuff. But I understand we all have are reasons.

[m33lad]

No one said all.. but go look at Tiktok, tell me the extremely high percentage of function humanity?

[m33lad]

Functional humanity*

[Asker]

In my country India, tik tok is banned 😂

[m33lad]

Oh nice! I always wanted to sleep with couple Indian curved fit girls.

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

Because I am not too sure whether I am ready to be in a relationship and I haven't met anyone that makes me want to give them a chance.

[BobbyC65]

I keep getting rejected by women and girls because I was born with cerebral palsy on my right side.

[little_bird1]

I keep meeting men who are only interested in casual.

[zeitgeist057]

What are you interested in, and how do you express your relationship goals when meeting someone new?

[menina]

I'm in the wrong place and with the wrong people. So dating while I don't move to another country is impossible.

[Babygirl_S]

I like the rare kind of guys. They are hard to find.

[zeitgeist057]

What is the "rare kind"? Are they all the same, or all different?

[Babygirl_S]

Alpha men are rare.

[pickedcrisps]

And unrelated to you user, I like the rare kind of nerdy girls 🤓🤓 like they're not oblivious type of nerds nor gothic either... they're just shy but still very with the times 😈😈😋 they're a rare breed. God love 'em 🤪😜

[Babygirl_S]

Good for you.

[pickedcrisps]

Thank you genuinely lady, Babygirl_S 💕💕💕

[pickedcrisps]

Nerdy women in their 20s are the yin-yang or the peace symbol of joy to me ☮️☮️😈😈 with a little devilish 🤓🤓😋😋

[DarkWinterNights]

I would only be interested in dating to find a long term partner, but the experience is so bad and the chances of success so low that the juice isn’t worth the squeeze for regular guys.

[Hairylegs222]

Still looking for that one woman for me. She's out there ❤

[Frank_Woods]

It's expensive to date.

[Isugorl]

Hahahahaha

[Asker]

@frank_woods OP bro 😎

[Wester1967]

The girls I like don’t like me and the girls who like me I don’t like. It’s pretty easy. What a crazy world

[joshctlee]

I was just about to comment this exact same thing word for word because that’s exactly what I’ve been going through how weird

[cryscrys1]

Because why not
I also don’t think too much about to fulfill society rules f em’

[TheUniqueOne96]

Fear of rejection, nerves and I'd want to get it right.

[Somegirl408]

because guys dont make an effort to approach me

[Asker]

You should try approach them 🙂

[Ocastbury]

Maybe you should follow me then, similar problems 🙈😇

[Hangry06]

I'm a narcissist, so I end up turn off the people who first liked me but not anymore because of my narcissistic personality.

😫

[Mangospacho]

Well there was no option to being in a relationship so I just voted that I was a narcissist and turn everyone down because that is the most correct answer.

[okeydoke]

I date, but haven’t found the right person.
I’m bisexual, but fail to see what being LGBT has to do with it. If anything, I have more options, not fewer.

[LemiaOfChampions]

Because my pervious girlfriend ghosted me during the pandemic.

[pickedcrisps]

Lots of reasons. But I am happy being single so I voted for that too 🤪🤪😜

[pickedcrisps]

@Asker And unrelated to you too Asker, but like some other user female said, I as a nerdy man for example also, I like the rare kind of nerdy girls 🤓🤓 like they're not oblivious type of nerds nor gothic either... they're just shy but still very with the times 😈😈😋 they're a rare breed. God love 'em 🤪😜

[Pumpkinspice009]

Being in a relationship is just too stressful nowadays. Also I don’t believe in boyfriend girlfriend relationship tbh

[Shihab91]

You believe in marriage?

[Shihab91]

Just asking out of curiosity

[Pumpkinspice009]

Yes.

[Shihab91]

Respect 🤙

[ChiPaPa]

After approaching a lot and getting rejected every damn time, I gave up.

[Asker]

So what do you think, why you're getting rejected?

[ChiPaPa]

wasn't what they were looking for, already in relationships, ugly, take your pick. I've shown my picture to some ladies on different forums and they said i was cute, so i don't know.

[cth96190]

Women rejected me because I was not a sociopathic bad boy.

[joshctlee]

I’m single because the girls I like don’t like me, but the girls I don’t like do like me. It’s been frustrating dating because I won’t settle for someone I don’t like nor attracted to.

[Anonymous]

I have a kid to look after and not enough money or ambition to really do another relationship properly right now.

[bolverk]

I am single by choice, it makes my life easier as I take work contracts on short notice.

[Medhat-M]

I'm a very complicated person and i won't get along with anyone

[es20490446e]

Cause I reject brain-dead people, and shy people seem out of reach.

[Cherry234]

I haven't found the right person yet

[lovedejj_xo]

I’m choosing to be because no one interest me and I refuse to settle

[Anonymous]

A combination of B and C.
But the main problem for me is, usually the girls I like aren't into me, and the girls who like ME, I'm not into.

[kc_4308]

Simply haven’t met the right man yet still waiting

[Anonymous]

Because Life is difficult. maybe, or maybe people are making it difficult for me.

[Anonymous]

I have a lot of issues and I don't know how to deal with it so i pull away from people instead

[Joeshamo]

Shy and low confidence.

[Shamiah02]

It's more beneficial rn for me to be single

[Jmmmfi4]

I don't put myself out there
Girls show no interest in me
I'm emotionally unstable

[Julious0202]

I got involved with the wrong people, now I don't want complications.

[Anonymous]

I am short, fat, bald, and autistic. So I have a lot working against me.

[Anonymous]

I’m too short, girls do not like short guys. I’m 5’5

[zeitgeist057]

Some girls do! I'm sorry though, I do know there is truth to what you say, but I hope you can generate some confidence anyway, as that should help you.

[Opinion Owner]

I’ve already given up. I can’t make myself taller.

[zeitgeist057]

Sure, but you can make yourself more confident, happy, kind, funny, rich, knowledgable, skilled, etc. Why focus on what you can't do, when there are so many things that you CAN?

[Opinion Owner]

I’ve done all of this. I make very good money, have lots of friends, a house and good family, have traveled the world and have many hobbies. None of this matters if you don’t make the physical requirements set by girls.

[Kareem_z21]

Didn't find the right person

[AdithyaR]

Too scared of getting hurt

[Asker]

Yes it is scary 😅

[AdithyaR]

Yep, already got hurt the last, not give another chance for that to happen

[NathanDavis]

because I'm not looking into otherwise

[Anonymous]

Because I stood up to some who tried to control my relationship and other things in my life

[The_Naughty_Guy]

Coz I don’t like relationship.