My boyfriend talks sexual over text with his friend and she slaps his thighs is this normal?

[Anonymous]

I am very jealous that this girl talks sexually with my boyfriend and slaps his thighs when in school. I've brought it up to him and he is very confused on why it makes me uncomfortable I've tried to explain it to him three times now. He is a very smart guy and is a good boyfriend but gosh this makes me jealous and this girl has a girlfriend. Should I be jealous is this something to be worried about? I am scared tbh my jealously is off the roof with this. He and I got in a little tiff over it. I'm thinking of hiding this jealousy considering I've brought it up to him three times now. I feel bad because this is their friendship and he told me that if he changes it will cause them to have to change their whole relationship. I don't know what to do, please any advice you have.

Updates

+1 y

Hello! We have completely moved on from all of this he understands my boundaries and we respect each other. Our relationship is now a year and 3 months in. We are completely healthy and now respect each other whenever we feel uncomfortable about a situation or a friendship! Thank you everyone for the advice!

[chriscdi]

I think what's fucked up is that he clearly knows how it makes you feel and doesn't seem to care, a normal respectful boyfriend would just tell the girl not to touch him that it's inappropriate because he has a girlfriend, it's like he wants her to keep doing it, and not to mention on why the he'll is he talking sexual to his female friend in the first place anyways, the fact that you had to tell him 3 times already and he is just ignoring it, it's just very shady and flake of him.

[Asker]

That’s what I thought too I’m his forest true girlfriend we are both about to be 17 i really don’t want to lose him because he truly is the best at my school and like another thing is well he’s helped me through a lot of shit I trust him a lot my problem is I don’t like her nor trust her their friendship has always been this way because that’s the type of person she is is just a sexual person in general she’s good with guys and is a lesbian and has a girlfriend but I told him this

[Asker]

I just don't know ig it's like I have something good going for me and I don't wanna lose that good I have I don't want to lose it and I don't want her to take you from me I know she has a girlfriend but gosh damn it just because someone's dating someone else doesn't mean they don't want another person and that's the part that kills me is the fact that's thats true

[chriscdi]

I don't even trust lesbians anymore, I knew a lesbian and she ended up fucking my male friend cause "she feels comfortable with him" which obviously it's cap, it's definitely some other shit, either ways tho, have you tried confronting the chick telling her that you don't like all the sexual stuff she talk about with your boyfriend

[chriscdi]

Tbh this is why I don't trust in the different gender friendships, just makes shit more complicated, try confronting her about it, in a good way first, obviously

[Asker]

I agree I don’t trust them either and another thing is I don’t like opposite sex friendships either and maybe it’s bad because I don’t have any friends like at all in the school I talk to no one and I have no friends

[chriscdi]

Well coming from someone that had female friends and has male friends, it's still better to stay within your own gender when it comes to friendships, now there's some rare moments where friendships can mix within genders but from my experience, they aren't common

[CoolGuy7532]

That's totally inappropriate. She shouldn't be sexting him and slapping his thighs. If he doesn't agree to stop this, you should dump him.

[Wise4myage]

That’s not normal. I say you should think about letting him if he’s gonna disrespect you like that,

[Asker]

How should I approach him on it again? He’s busy at the moment with his family and I need to figure out how to properly tell him to stop he doesn’t understand and I tried to explain it to him but he doesn’t understand why I’m uncomfortable I said it would be like if another guy was slapping my thigh and sexually talking to me he understood it better that way but she’s lesbian but he doesn’t understand how I feel just because someone is lesbian doesn’t mean they aren’t attracted and would possibly wanna date a male right?

[Wise4myage]

She's a lesbian, so why is this bothering you?

[Iron_Man]

That’s bad

[Asker]

May you please explain a bit more to me on why it’s bad?

[Iron_Man]

What kind of boyfriend would talk sexual to another girl during text?

[Asker]

They have done it since way before me he’s real good friends with her and she does it with everyone and it would ruin their whole friendship they just talk about sexual stuff

[Iron_Man]

Yeah but how do you know they don’t masturbate to

[Iron_Man]

Then why doesn’t he date her for example it’s a big red flag

[Mossberg500]

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