How can someone be afraid of losing you when someone is barely not even your life?

[Anonymous]

Maybe someone can explain this one. Like say this person, is inconsistent, they barely reach out to you, they avoid meetups, if they can't get any play, they say say that they aren't going to leave you, and how they aren't going NO-Where, but yet they are also hot and cold, and also they hang out with the wrong types of people. So please explain how can somebody be afraid of losing someone when they're not even active in your life?

[btbc92]

It's called emotional attachment and bonding. It sounds like you are with a person that is either indecisive, or you moving WAY TOO FAST, they may not be ready for a serious relationship, or they have been abused in the past by other people (parental upbringing, kids/peers, past dating or bad romantic experiences, etc). What I want to know with people especially as a person who never dated: WHAT IS THE RUSH?

I think the real issue here is that people are self-centered and is demanding, impatient, and have unrealistic expectations here. Anybody can be afraid because they're desperate for anybody. The thing is if he never had a date before or anything serious they want to keep you. But then they're not meeting you. they are afraid especially if you two are strangers. You're going to have to get to the bottom of what is their personal issue is and act as if you were not interested in dating. just find out what is going on with that person and make sure you don't judge or come from a biased view.

HOWEVER, MY main concern for you now is that the fact that this person has said they aren't going and I quote on quote what you said that he said "NO-where". That sounds like a huge red FLAG. I think it is best you cut that person off. But for the sake of your question, that is what my two-paragraph answers. Your particular issue, it is a long time for you to stop having your heart being swayed and toyed with because of your emotional weaknesses and time to move on. All contact needs to go with that guy. IMMEDIATELY. I suggest you do so ASAP. Not tomorrow, not later, RIGHT NOW.

[Asker]

I'm going to share this with you and let you in on a secret and maybe you can give me more inside. But my so call Best FRIEND and my 8 years friends with benefits have been communicating. And I pacifically gave them rules to follow, but I also, told her that I didn't want her talking to him and I gave her the list the codes that she needs to follow and she didn't. Anyways each and every time that I will look at her photo and his picture I felt some type of connection there something just kept telling me that those two were talking. Years ago she told me that this man was ugly and how she wouldn't do such thing because of the history that him and not have then she said he also reminded her of her ex baby's father and said how she didn't like how he treated me. But then years later hear you are in his inbox and I asked her a few times have you talked to him and she said no the first time I told her was a few months back and said to stay away from him and she laughed and said you're crazy LOL.

[Asker]

But the more that I was letting this go on I just kept getting a really bad vibe from this and I was like everytime I get online he's online and so is she. I was looking at the different times that I would talk to him versus a different times that she was too. So this past week I had it up to here and I asked him because I already knew she wouldn't be honest and tell the truth you laugh in front of my face when I'm pacifically telling you cool I don't want you talkin to ya your exit next. And I said who and why are you talking to this girl, and don't lie. So he said to me that she randomly hit me up on FB. But I told him three or four months ago to let me know if any of my friends are in his DMs. Then he said I got you also said I have a lot of respect for you I wouldn't do that. But fast forwarding. I have asked two different psychics about the situation and they both picked up the energy that she was so I was right the last I think I talked to and said why didn't he tell me. So she mentioned to me and said that he was scared and how he was afraid of losing me. But every since I told him about this boyfriend and just over the years our relationship with each other has drifted. And I definitely do feel that he is connected to another body and person. But we are able to talk and get along really well a lot of things we've been through we put it behind us and we're able to work together. But in this case he wasn't working with me he was actually keeping a secret and didn't tell me or didn't do what I said for him to do. How can somebody be afraid of losing someone but you rather keep a whore like her hidden and not tell the person that actually has your best interest at heart. WTF!! frfr smh 😡😡😡

[Asker]

And you 100% he has had bad relationships with women from his past his childhood wasn't the best and also he isn't really ready for something serious.

[btbc92]

Asker. You need to repent. You're in fornication, you're messing with witchcraft by going to soothsayers to get answers that have 0 to do with you. Here you are judging another when you have done them yourself and you are lost. Until you change from your wicked ways, these things happen. And you're cursing yourself by sleeping with men whom you unmarried to. Stop messing with witchcraft, repent. Leave those people alone. You cannot judge. If you want your life to change, then you must change in order for there to be change. You're not changing, so your life doesn't change. If you want to change, then you need to repent.

[Asker]

I know you sound like someone I've spoken to before I have heard this before. And I agree with you. But the psychics they were right I mean the first thing that she picked up on was that she had two kids a boy and a girl how would she have known that. And the second thing is I became very intuitive with things too. But I agree with you 100% I guess I just wanted clearly and I knew that I was right I didn't have to call them up or anything. And parts of me do feel bad and parts of me don't but since the incident had occurred this past week I've done some not nice stuff to her :(. Meaning I already exposed her to him then I already linked her number on different sites and apps. But yes I do agree with you 100%.. I can't let the devil win and it seems like that's what I'm doing. 😭😭

[Anonymous]

He’s not afraid of losing you, he just likes to be in control and since you are probably the only woman willing to put up with his bs, he’s trying to keep you on the back burner but not get serious. It isn't attractive or romantic for a man to say “you aren’t going no where”, when he’s busy going everywhere lol.

[Asker]

I like your ANSWER. And I feel that way. But I'll let you in on a secret and maybe you can give me more inside. But my so call Best FRIEND and my 8 years friends with benefits have been communicating. And I pacifically gave them rules to follow, but I also, told her that I didn't want her talking to him and I gave her the list the codes that she needs to follow and she didn't. Anyways each and every time that I will look at her photo and his picture I felt some type of connection there something just kept telling me that those two were talking. Years ago she told me that this man was ugly and how she wouldn't do such thing because of the history that him and not have then she said he also reminded her of her ex baby's father and said how she didn't like how he treated me. But then years later hear you are in his inbox and I asked her a few times have you talked to him and she said no the first time I told her was a few months back and said to stay away from him and she laughed and said you're crazy LOL.

[Asker]

But the more that I was letting this go on I just kept getting a really bad vibe from this and I was like everytime I get online he's online and so is she. I was looking at the different times that I would talk to him versus a different times that she was too. So this past week I had it up to here and I asked him because I already knew she wouldn't be honest and tell the truth you laugh in front of my face when I'm pacifically telling you cool I don't want you talkin to ya your exit next. And I said who and why are you talking to this girl, and don't lie. So he said to me that she randomly hit me up on FB. But I told him three or four months ago to let me know if any of my friends are in his DMs. Then he said I got you also said I have a lot of respect for you I wouldn't do that. But fast forwarding

[Asker]

I asked two different psychics about the situation and they both picked up the energy that she was so I was right the last I think I talked to and said why didn't he tell me. So she mentioned to me and said that he was scared and how he was afraid of losing me. But every since I told him about this boyfriend and just over the years our relationship with each other has drifted. And I definitely do feel that he is connected to another body and person. But we are able to talk and get along really well a lot of things we've been through we put it behind us and we're able to work together. But in this case he wasn't working with me he was actually keeping a secret and didn't tell me or didn't do what I said for him to do. How can somebody be afraid of losing someone but you rather keep a whore like her hidden and not tell the person that actually has your best interest at heart. WTF!!

[Opinion Owner]

I feel like maybe the universe aligned it to be having this conversation, because I had a very similar experience. The psychic in question for me was my teacher, and all she had to do was look at a photo of my (now) ex, and a picture of my best friend of 15 years and said they were “talking”. She didn’t specify that sex happened but she felt it was on the horizon. I was shocked, because I didn’t ask for her advice, she didn’t know my situation and somehow she laid everything out. I also had no idea how my best friend and ex could be talking, as they’ve never been alone. I didn’t want to believe it, and I had zero proof, but sometimes the truth find you, how it found me. In July I found that they had exchanged Snapchat’s and they’d been talking all that time, but she had him under another name. The night I introduced them, she gave him head in the bathroom and I had no idea bc I was asleep. I was so freaking crushed but at least I had my answer. I’m not sharing this story to make comparisons, or to gain your sympathy. I’m sharing it because you need to trust your gut. Something may be going on with them, or maybe not. But she is not a good friend. She totally is crossing the line by still dm’ing him and you are going to drive yourself crazy trying to find the truth. So why not drop them both? If he is hooking up with her, then guess what, karma is very unforgiving and ALWAYS matches the depth of the betrayal. Let them have eachother, they deserve one another. You’ll get to watch it all fall apart without lifting a finger and that will be more satisfying than any words from them.