Did this person intentionally trigger me?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who I took time away due to offensive behaviors and I told her I would talk to her in a couple months. I am a successful person now. And , instead of talking to me about the issues we had with one another she sent me a book about a struggling single mother who made it and said the person in the book reminded her of me. I was insulted and mad that she did this.

[Anonymous]

Well, were you a struggling single mother who made it? Or does it not apply whatsoever? What I’m wondering here is if maybe you’re already so offended by her behavior, paired with the built up frustrations you have with her, that you may see most anything she does as offensive. I think if that is the case, then maybe there is no “reconnecting in a few months” for you and her, and maybe it is time to retire that friendship altogether. Sometime we outgrow friendships/people/etc and there is NOTHING wrong with that. We are supposed to elevate ourselves from negative situations and toxic people as we get older, it’s part of life.

[Asker]

I asked her what kind of book she was sending me. She refused to tell me. I received the book and felt not good. I felt she overstepped her boundaries

[Opinion Owner]

You don’t think it’s possible that she was just trying to surprise you and genuinely wasn’t being malicious about the book? Like I was saying, I think there’s a lot of pent up frustration and hostility towards her on your end, and depending on what she’s done in the past, it may be hard not to take offense or wonder about ulterior motives when she does things like this. You don’t want to get to that place with anyone and still consider them a friend. So maybe you just need to cut the ties completely, and this is a sign to do so.

[Asker]

Out of all the things to bring. Up, no. I don't believe she was being genuine. I asked her for a break due to another insult previously. And instead of talking to me about it then she sends me this book. Some people don't like to have things brought up to them and their past. It's called having boundaries:

[Opinion Owner]

I agree, there are boundaries. So why not just end the friendship? Cut off contact, etc?

[Opinion Owner]

Genuine question, no judgment or anything on my end, just curious like why take a break when you can just be done?

[Hangry06]

Why would that trigger you? Are you not a single mom?

[Asker]

I felt the book she sent me brought back bad memories. I asked her what she was sending me. She refused to tell me stating that it would come in a couple days. I felt labeled and was not appreciative