Would you take a warning about a new boyfriend/girlfriend serious from their ex friend?

[Anonymous]

I started seeing someone and a newish friend of mine realised and said he used to know him. That he's a notorious fuckboy and liar. That he knows lots of women who have been messed over by him. He told me he could show proof, says he does this all the time. They haven't been friends for about 5 years and the guy I'm seeing is 24 and says he really has changed that he regrets his past but that he never cheated and never had anything concerning one night stands that wasn't mutual. He deleted tinder (how we met) Infront of me. My friend said he's done it many times and it's a trust play. That he uses people and has given people STDs. I'm concerned. Really concerned as I have trust issues as it is. The guy I'm seeing put me and him as his profile pic on social media, he posted about us, he says he wants a future and to give him a chance but I don't want to suffer if it is all true. I'm not sure what to do. We have the best time when we're together. I like him so much but I can't deal with being hurt. The problem is now I have feelings and will be hurt no matter what I do

[WhyAmEyeEvenHere86]

For starters, I regret all the times a friend tried to warn me and I didn't listen or at least take them serious enough to do a little digging. At the very least follow up on what they are saying, at least dig deeper than asking the person in question. Of course they are going to write it off, they don't want to scare you away.

That being said, I can attest to being the person in question. The sad fact is when you date around you run the risk of breaking hearts. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned is a saying for a reason. The runner up to that fury are friends of the woman scorned and guys who want/wanted to be with the woman scorned. Let's just say I broke the wrong woman's heart and now there are quite a few women in this town who wouldn't date me if someone paid them because of some of the rumors she has spread about me, it's tragic.

So the point is, don't just blindly trust the friend but also don't blindly trust the guy you are interested in either. Both instances are naive. Do a little digging. Weigh your options. Give it a little time, take it one step at a time. Speak with some exes maybe. Realize they will probably be heavily biased but you can usually dig out the common threads after speaking with two or three of them, figure out what was really going on. Maybe you can learn from their mistakes... or maybe he is a long con type fuck boy.

Good luck 🙂

[teamvic]

I'd have been gone the moment he said stds
But you need to ask why they're no longer friends cause he could very well be telling the truth. Or he could be lying just to get back at the dude you're with cause he hated him.

Him putting you with him as a profile picture is an easy thing to fake and so Is deleting tinder. I'm not saying it is but if he was trying to lie its an easy way to do it

Maybe he has grown up and I believe there's always that 1 person someone is truly into Maybe it is you. Maybe not.

If I were you I'd definitely take that warning serious and just be on guard with him🧐 dont let his words speak for him but instead his actions. If he's saying he loves you but ain't showing it. Treat that as a little red flag

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I would consider/take heed of the friend's warning. And If you decide to give him a chance to show he really has changed:
go slowly, take time to really get to know him and let his actions, not words show/prove he's a changed person.
Don't have sex too soon, and when you do, don't have unprotected sex or oral sex unless he shows you a recent STD test before hand... Don't just take his word he's clean if there's a chance it's true that he's a liar and knowingly gave people STD's in the past...

[Blackcupcake]

I would tell the friend, can you say all of those things you just told me about him, to his face?


I would not make a decision based solely on what someone else tells me ESPECIALLY if they dislike my SO. I would make sure to talk about it with my boyfriend (not accuse, just TALK) and see what he has to say, and at the end of the day, I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone I can’t trust so I’d trust him if he’s making sense out of everything

[funtime_01]

Depends. Even if all this was true, that was 5 years ago right? Maybe he has truly repented and feels bad about his actions? But if that is true about giving people STDs then, that is quite a grave thing to have done, there's one thing cheating, but doing that... Ooo, that's wicked. Really wicked. I have never done such things, so I'm not sure how I could really live with myself after putting so much suffering on other people. But that's if it is true. If it is, then as I said before maybe he has changed for the better in half a decade, but it's up to you if you want to be with a man who has done such things (if it's true once again). All the best and stay safe.

[Moose304]

My answer to this question I am going to tell you now is mean! Point blank mean. I was asked this very question by a male about advice he had received about his new girlfriend from a fellow Sailor that knew of her. I told him to get his head out of his ass and make sure this person was not a 1000 car freight train headed his way. How he asked? Get alone with her just the two of you. Ask her the names of your last two ex's. If she gives them to you call both of them before she has a chance to call or set up a lie. Get the truth from them. If for a minute she gets defensive or dismissive DUMP HER! It's mean I know. In this case, she gave him the information and he made the calls. Then asked her to leave. Your mileage may vary! I told you upfront this was mean. It is VERY much so. But in these few minutes, you will learn so much about this guy!

[melanieeeB]

I would listen what they have to say but then go and make your own opinion about that person.

My old friends were always against me and my ex and talked bad about him etc He is not at all what they claimed him to be.
I'm really glad that I didn't listen to them.
You never know, until you see for yourself

[molonski2]

Id keep it in the back of my mind , Id progress slowly and carefully , and from there Id asses the situation myself , you don't really know this guy you are seeing yet , and if he's younger than you , be trebly careful , never just blindly follow , take the comments on board.

[jess05]

I don't think so... there opinion would be biased! However, if they had proof of something, like a criminal report or something. I might take a closer look into it. But I would suspect, the majority of the time. It's likely just a disgruntled ex, looking for pay back. Or something stupid.

[RobT312]

People make mistakes, the good thing is you know the mistakes and have been warned.
nothing wrong with giving a relationship a try but moving cautiously sounds like the right thing to do

[jaybee281]

I say you're gonna have to go through it all the while keeping this fear in the back of your mind - if his ex friend says he has proof and he actually does - Then there is nothing else you could do..

[libsaretards]

There is a saying in law enforcement called "trust but verify". Basically, try to see the best in someone but do your own research and get all the facts.

[Ginchygoo]

Love is always a gamble if you think this guy might be worth it then give it a shot. Like you said you would be hurt at this point already if things went south. In poker they call that pot committed
Good luck whatever you do.

[patrick677]

Give him his chance he was honnest with you said about his past! Accept him trust him, if he act bad just leave. In whatever your choice now you will be hurt so its okai i guess..

[spartan55]

Your "friend" wants to fuck you. I wouldn't listen to him

[Wise4myage]

I guess it depends on how much I trust that persons opinion.

[Neilbud]

As a warning yes. But you never know someone's intensions, so I wouldn't do anything rash.

[Neilbud]

Also, their are std test you could both take if you are that worried about it.

[Anonymous]

get rid of him and your friend because your friend is jealous of you and the new guy. do yourself a favor and get rid of both

[Opinion Owner]

have him show you the results of an std test and talk to some of his ex's

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t want to be in a room alone with that guy

[boobliker]

May Be as they do know them! but with corsion

[2021biguy]

You should consider her advice very carefully.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I'd keep my eyes