If a man criticizes her girlfriend for nagging for the following reasons in the description, are they considered nagging?

[Anonymous]

1. Girlfriend tries to suggest why her opinion should be accepted and tells the reason behind her actions which goes unacknowledged.
2. She needs to ask regularly for her boyfriend to talk to her nicer in arguments because he doesn't remember to very often.
3. She needs to remind her boyfriend to control his anger.
4. She needs to remind her boyfriend to remember to do something because he often forgets. If she doesn't it will never get done.

[caring__1]

Either people care about your feelings or they don't. Repeating your feelings multiple times to someone who isn't interested in them won't make them interested. People assume all they need to do is to repeat something indefinitely or raise their voice, and eventually, the other person will hear and change. Choose someone who is already the way you'd like that person to be. Never assume people are interested in being molded by you into what you want to see.

It's not about repeating till you win... it's about discovering whether the other person is even interested. Base interest on actions, not words. People will often promise the world just to get you to shut up.

The more you remind people to do things, the more they'll see it as your responsibility, not theirs. From their perspective, they perceive you telling them they are too stupid to remember, so they won't even bother to attempt to remember. The more a person feels criticized, the more resistant to change they become, and the less likely they are to take the feelings of the criticizer into consideration. After all, from their perspective, their feelings aren't being taken into consideration. Apparently, you don't appreciate being criticized by your boyfriend, so how do you think he feels, when he sees nagging as criticism?

[Seangreen]

Okay let's start here number one is your opinion is just that your opinion nobody has to accept your opinion if they don't agree with it.

Number 2 to me sounds like he's probably not saying mean things to you you just want him to praise you more which is a you know a little vain

Number three how bad is his anger really or is he just not allowed to get upset with things that you do because you know all these questions are a little bit vague.

Number 4 if you really love somebody or care about somebody you should be more than happy to remind them about things because you're supposed to watch each other's backs.

My conclusion is is you two probably shouldn't be together and I'm thinking you're more of the problem than he is and he's just too much in love with you to realize how much of a piece of crap you probably are have a good day

[Asker]

#2 Requesting that someone talk more respectfully by speaking nicer is a completely different thing from begging for praise. Asking for respect is not vain.

#3 His anger involves regularly raising his voice, mocking, and dismissing when his girlfriend is upset about something that he can’t understand but is really is just asking for his emotional support.

#4 Imagine reminding them and being called a “nagger” bc of their constant need to be reminded.

Thank you for all your assumptions about me that I’m a piece of crap @seangreen 😊

[Seangreen]

All your responses to what I said and I love how you have nothing for the first one you are a piece of s*** it's your the problem I'll guarantee it I put everything I have on it you're the f****** problem

[Asker]

#1 here’s my response. He doesn’t have to accept her opinion but he should hear her out and try to compromise.

Your response just shows that I wounded your pride especially when I corrected you. Someone needs to teach you manners. Going around name-calling people never solves problems. Have a nice day @seangreen

[Seangreen]

I don't need f****** manners okay if people don't f****** like me the way I am and I don't need to be around them people it's that simple I don't change for nobody and I don't expect nobody to change for me but if you're on bulshit I'll call you out on it in a f****** second

[abc3643]

5. She needs to move on because, while these ARE nags, yet they have value.

That #4 is practically the definition of nagging.

[Asker]

That’s fair. Yeah, I would say 1-3 have value too. Both sides’ opinions matter and have the right to be advocated for if one really believes it has value

[mark000h]

The only one close to nagging is #4. The rest are pretty common sense. You shouldn't have to tell anyone to be nicer or control anger. Those are abuser issues. If he's abusive you need to dump him and run.