What to do if a woman wants to start a poly triad relationship, a F-F-M setup?

[Squally1234]

I'm in a situation where a woman wants to setup, or what I'm guessing to be a long-term poly triad relationship. She's already in a relationship with another woman, should she make all the decisions? She's inviting me or to be involved with her in that way. She's being a bit awkward about it. I'm not refusing her offer. It's a 1st for me also.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I'm actually in the same exact situation only im the one already in the relationship with another woman.

The way we do it is that her and I talk before anyone is even considered. If we find someone on our own then we introduce them to the other one. If things develop, then great. If one of us is fine with that person, but not into them sexually then we could still date them separately but it just wouldn't be a triad. If they hate the other person, then it just never becomes a thing for any of us.

Once we establish our comfortability levels then we can sit down with the third and talk about their expectations as well.

[KrisPW]

I think the initial discussion and decision needs to be between the existing couple. Once invited in, you all three need to have the discussions and make a decision on it. Lay out the expectations, etc...

[Effably]

Wouldn't be for me. But if you are interested just express that. Likely helps if you have the whole loving A does not diminish the love er can have for B mindset. And then just let her know that if they are indeed interested in testing it you'll be happy to meet B when it feels right for them to see if you all click.

Personally I can't share love, I don't have that in me. But if you do then the more the merrier? Three is stronger than two and all.

[Leonharted]

If the question was even asked, I’d take that to mean I’m not enough. Whether I’m inadequate or she is too greedy is irrelevant. We are obviously not compatible, and I’d need to find someone who IS compatible with me.


I’d end the relationship so that we could both find a better match. No hard feelings, but continuing the relationship is a waste of time.

[wagsingle]

I would be willing to try it and see if it worked out. Actually I've been the guest actor in a guy girl relationship, but it was never intended to be serious. It started out with him and I finding each other on craigslist while he was in town without her. Then he introduced me to her and she became the center of attention for us both.
Give it a shot and see where it goes. But you need to be honest about your feelings and not lead them on just for the sex, should you not hit it off emotionally.

[slatyb]

You get to decide your part. Would you be involved with both or just her? Have you met the other woman? Is this a short-term thing or is she thinking long-term?

[Squally1234]

Let's just assume that Woman B is in on it and I would also assume that Woman A talked her into it!

[slatyb]

Suit yourself. Sounds interesting.

[DCooper]

I would guess the longterm prospect there is zero. That doesn't rule out some fun in the short term though.

[Shamalien]

not for me