Sexual thoughts about stepdad?

[Anonymous]

is it ok for a teen to have sexy thoughts about their mums ex partner who is still part of their lives and refer to them as stepdad?

[ChrisMaster69]

Hmm hard one really.

it happens and it’s really hard position to be in where you develop feelings for someone else.

i think the main thing is physical and emotional safety of themselves and others.

For example, what would their mum feel or experience emotionally, if the teen informed them of their feelings for an ex partner.

As it’s a teen, obviously age comes into it, and is a factor that is to be considered.

the maturity of the teen also comes into it, the history of the relationship when the person was a step dad.

Going out on a limb, yes it’s okay, as we are humans and often have feelings, including sexual for others we normally would not have, however there is a big difference between having those feelings and acting on them, if that makes sense?

[ChrisMaster69]

@ Asker, do you have any views on it?

[Asker]

Yes I completely see where you are coming from and I think these fantasies should stay fantasies and not actions. How would you recommend to get over these sexual thoughts?

[ChrisMaster69]

The first thing is acceptance by the person that these are fantasies.

It’s important to stop it becoming a very hard infatuation, which can lead to ‘accidental’ meetings more than currently happens, which just reinforces everything, making it worse.

It’s trying to divert our thoughts on to something else when this ‘can’t do fantasy etc’ pops into our minds,

We know we cannot and should not do it, however our brains are little twats and try and make us.

They need to be very firm with themselves, keep it as just an infatuation, accept as fantasy, avoid situation where it’s very much 1 on 1.

I very much doubt they can get over the sexual thoughts entirely, it’s how our brains are wired, thinking negatives about the person may help, where they have done something bad or not great, sort of aversion therapy.

It is surprisingly common and usually it’s during a parents relationship it happens.

Distance and time are the main fixes.

It’s pointless saying, do something else active etc, as as soon as the brain has free time, it will shove in its ‘candy’ request,

Element of experience here lol, thinking and doing, need to be kept separate.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ Pretty Pink Anon, Thank you for MHG, most appreciated

[Carolus]

Nothing wrong having such fantasies as long as they just remain fantasies. It’s normal for people to fantasize smashing their friends boyfriends or girlfriends, husbands or wives. Discourage yourself on acting on such and focus on counter measures like keeping your distance, getting a boyfriend and getting smashed. As long as you ain’t acting upon such, it goes away with time.

[BobbyC65]

Long as your over eighteen go for it he's not your real father. 💞

[Avicenna]

No, not OK.

[Asker]

why? I would love to hear your explanation!

[Avicenna]

Because you have a relationship with him that is completely inconsistent with sexual thoughts. If he was some random guy you just met, it'd be no problem since you're an adult.

[Anonymous]

Best not to act on them.

[lycanthrope3]

He is not blood related