Is it bad that I look at other men?

[Anonymous]

I am in a relationship and I absolutely love my boyfriend. He's a great partner to me and I find him incredibly attractive and sexy. I desire him a lot. But I absolutely love looking at other guys and rating how hot they are. All my friends know I love to talk about hot guys. I love looking hot around them and seeing them watch me, and getting their attention. If they approach me, of course I decline and say I have a boyfriend. But I love giving them flirtatious glances or doing double takes on them as I just LOVE hot men. Again with that being said, I would never cheat on my boyfriend or actually do anything other than look, as my boyfriend is truly who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Is looking at other guys wrong? Does that make me a bad girlfriend?

[TruthBringer]

Looking momentarily is okay. We all do it, but you're giving us information that indicate you aren't actually ready to be a in a relationship. The fact you desire the validation of other men other than your partner is a tell-tale you need to work on yourself before you string someone (your boyfriend) along. Or perhaps you're just not the type for a monogamous relationship. I've seen many relationships fail because one person couldn't give up the need of validation of people other than their partner. I've dated such a woman myself. They all ended up becoming toxic and eventually everyone went their separate ways.

You may not cheat and don't intend to, but given the fact you desire other men's attention/validation, the door to cheating isn't actually closed. It only takes 1 dude who knows what to do and say to swipe you off your feet. I'm not saying you are going to cheat, at the same time you cannot tell us you wouldn't because every cheater has 1 thing in common: Their interest in the benefits of people other than their partner.

[mark000h]

There's nothing wrong with LOOKING as long as you're not doing anything else. Giving other men signals or flirting is wrong because it's disrespectful to your boyfriend and because it can very easily lead to the next step which is cheating. You may eventually become tempted to act out on your desires and that would be very wrong. Also, you're supposed to be committed to your boyfriend as he is to you. How would you feel if he was soliciting attention from other women?

[Asker]

i wouldn’t care. as long as he’s making it clear that he has a girlfriend and is committed to me, then it is what it is. i can’t control what other people do.

[Asker]

also i don’t flirt, i just glance at them or smile at them lol.

[Hangry06]

Most people don't consider checking out other people as cheating. Your boyfriend probably does this too. He's only human

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I just have to ask,
How would you feel if he did the same?

[Asker]

if he looked at other women, i wouldn’t care. i would let him go to a strip club lol. acknowledging other people’s beauty is fine to me. i know he’s not blind and i know i’m not the only attractive person in the world.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Got it. Some people just get jealous when their partner does the same thing they do.

[Kyle-Jackson78]

No, my ex girlfriend i used to love her, When i did, I wanted to bang hot football players and cheerleaders i thought about it all the time, But i did not cheat, Your boyfriend 100% looked at other girls, I could have the hottest boyfriend/girlfriend and still be horny for others, Its how humans are programed, Your only a bad girlfriend if you ACT on those urges

[Waldoe]

Men love to look at hot girls.. I am 71, I like to look at Hot girls... some are young enought to be my "Great Grand Daughters" BUT, they are Not... there si no reason that you shouldn't do the same.. "Eye candy" is good no matter what age or gender you are

[Anonymous]

I call bullshit. You would 100% cheat. You're not even being honest when you say you'd never do anything other than look, because you already admitted to flirting. It's looking at other guys wrong? No. But flirting with other men to get them to approach you just so you can reject them? That's some hardcore narcissistic shit right there.

[Anonymous]

Looking isn't bad, but...
"I love looking hot around them and seeing them watch me, and getting their attention"
"I love giving them flirtatious glances or doing double takes on them"

Unless your boyfriend knows this and okay with it, this is suspicious. There are people who showed less signs but cheated anyways when before said "I would never cheat"

[Gwenhwyfar]

Totally harmless BUT don’t do it when you’re with him. You wouldn’t like it if he did that to you.

[Asker]

depends on how he does it. i’m actually the one pointing out beautiful women to him when we’re out.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Oh ok. In that case if it doesn’t bother him go for it.

[magiusX26]

quite normal. a part of human biology does have us at least entertain the thought/s of variety of partners. the trouble often comes from acting on that baser instinct.

[kmg9150]

No, its natural. To me its insulting to try and hide otherwise from either sex.

[Anonymous]

Interesting question. Well in my opinion it kind of does make you a bad girlfriend. Who wants a girl seeking attention and leading other men on? That’s not a good person let alone a girlfriend. I know I would deserve much better. Although it is fine and normal to see beauty in the opposite sex. You’re playing a game you can’t win at and bringing down other people with it. What’s the point?

[MountAverage]

No, why would that be bad? You can also fantasize about other men and masturbate to them, there's nothing wrong with that and it has nothing to do with your relationship.

[Citizenkirk]

It is if your S. O. is with you when you are doing it

[noohair]

I think flirting is natural. But I know that it could be harming your boyfriend. It is cumulative harm and everyone has a breaking point. Keep that in mind even if he says that it does not bother him.

[Damon24]

No looking is fine but do not go past that it’s fine to look but if you’re going out of your way to be flirtatious with them to make them come up to you are you sure you only want to look?

[Asker]

me looking good and dressing cute isn’t going out of my way to be approached. if they approach me, that’s on them. i don’t entertain it any further than some light banter then letting them know i have a boyfriend.

[Damon24]

Thought you meant you were giving them flirtatious glances to get them to approach you

[Asker]

i give them flirtatious glances but that doesn’t mean approach me😂 they do that on their own

[MrtoddsWildRide]

It's natural and normal. Just don't make it too obvious to him.

[najekim]

What a told my step son when either the wife or I are looking at others: "Son, we're happily married. Not dead."

[Wise4myage]

Its fine, just don't ever do it in front of your boyfriend or act on it.

[Abby005]

No it’s natural. Don’t even have to look good. Sometime people can’t turn away from an accident.

[2LVS1RK]

You're 18-24 and you want to spend the rest of your life with your boyfriend. Give me a fking break.

[Asker]

Yeah I do. My parents got married when my mom was 18 and my dad was 21 and they’ve been together for 23 years. Not everyone is on your wavelength.

[2LVS1RK]

Get on my wavelength.

[Asker]

You’re 34 years old with an anime girl’s ass as your profile picture. That’s not a wavelength I want to be on.

[2LVS1RK]

You don't know what you want. Shocking.

[Asker]

I know I don’t want to be like you when I’m 34 that’s for damn sure😂

[2LVS1RK]

Yeah, you want to be happily married with your now boyfriend. That's so fking romantic. I'm rooting for you.

[Asker]

I do. I would much prefer have something like my parents have than being 34 years with an anime girl’s ass as my profile picture. You keep dissing relationships like mine like you’ve chosen the best path in life and like you’re living a dream lmao.

[2LVS1RK]

Sometimes the path chooses you.

[Asker]

I’m sure it does❤️

[exitseven]

You can look but not touch.

[brezzybaby]

Look just don't touch

[Jay3344]

Not really, at least your honest about it.

[driven159]

no but too much can cause trust issues

[Jintendo18]

It’s normal.

[EaterPeter]

It is bad.

[In_Trance]

no it isn't

[MrSmithee]

yeah