If a guy is thinking serious about a girl or really cares about her does he hesitate to get into bed with her?

[Anonymous]

My guy friend whom I’m seeing and who has romantic feelings towards me enjoys hanging out with me and we always laugh and have a good time and he always gives me good advice and looks out for me, etc... he’s always cuddling me on the couch as well...

he never lets me sleepover tho... he knows I’m not after sex and that I really care about him yet he said he isn’t going to be ready for a long time for overnite stuff...

he’s 34 and a virgin... is he scared of getting hurt? Or does he care that much for me that he doesn’t wanna ruin things?

Yes -out of care and respect/ to avoid getting hurt

No - it means he isn’t into her

Updates

+1 y

He’s 34 and still a virgin

[Anonymous]

He might be insecure about his performance if he’s a virgin. Do you guys plan to have sex or just wait it out?

[Anonymous]

For a girl your serious about, yes. Whole lifetime for sex. It would have to be right.

[Asker]

Is a guy more scared to get hurt when he really likes and cares for a girl?

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely. Wouldn't you be? When someone is special to you, you want to treat them right and not get hurt.

[Asker]

He said he isn’t going to be ready to do any sleepovers with me anytime soon and he likes things the way they are... why is he so scared of getting hurt? Am I special to him?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sure you are because otherwise he'd just try to use you, but it sounds like there's something else going on too. He's hesitating and scared of something like you say. It's not normal to like someone and not desire to get closer. He's stopping it for some reason. Ask him why he doesn't want to take it to the next level.

[Asker]

He’s a virgin at age 34... what do you think of that? Is he scared that I would leave him? Or does it sound like he has feelings for me?

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he's afraid of what you'll think about him. An inexperienced guy at 34 probably is thinking that you'll judge him or be disappointed. He probably cares, because a virgin at 34 who has a chance to have sex would likely take it unless he's got personal or religious reasons, some guys actually think that you wait until marriage. He should be telling you this though. If he's that type of guy, he'd tell you, sounds strange that he's not saying why. You really should ask him if he wants to wait or why he's not interested in moving forward with the relationship.

[Asker]

Me and him are obviously more than friends and he enjoys hanging out with me... it’s obvious that he’s happier around me -more than he is around his buddies... he’s scared of getting hurt because he’s stilll a virgin?

[Opinion Owner]

Well of course you're more than friends, but I don't know why he doesn't want to go to the next level. You have to ask him. There's too many things it could be, that's why you have to talk to him. It could be he's afraid of any relationship, it could be because he's a virgin, it could be because he wants to take his time to know you. There's literally so many things it could be, talk to him about it.

[Asker]

What does it mean when a guy says “ he likes things the way they are”? ↗

[Opinion Owner]

You know what, maybe he just doesn't want to complicate things. He's afraid he'll make some stupid move on you and it would ruin a thing you have together. He is hesitating because of inexperience of not knowing. You really should be guiding him on what you want. You said you aren't interested in sex, why sleepover then? It's something people usually do when sex is happening in the relationship. You said that he said not yet, take it slow, he doesn't want to mess up what you have.

[Asker]

He’s afraid to ruin things because he cares about me? Or has he developed feelings?
He even had his arm around me at his brothers house

[Asker]

I don’t want sex only to literally sleep and cuddle with him overnight...

[Jamie05rhs]

^This cat seems to give good advice. I would listen to him.

[rabbitzzz]

He is inexperienced and or stupid because having sex with you will make you more likely to stay.

[Asker]

Is he scared of getting hurt?

[rabbitzzz]

Probably.