You should stop thinking about this as a liability. It really isn’t. I would just tell the truth. Some women won’t like it, some won’t care, and some will like it. If you run into one who has a problem with it, don’t feel badly—she’s not the right girl for you and you dodged a bullet. Others will be curious about it and might ask a lot of questions.
I never expected to be single after I was married, but when I started dating after divorce I found some women were put off by the fact that I did not have many previous relationships. These were the types who think there is something wrong with a guy who hasn’t had sex with a lot of women or suspect they’re bad in bed. Others got upset that I wouldn’t go to their place to have sex right after the first time we met. They were so used to men hitting anything that moved that they got offended by one who wouldn’t. Did any of this make me upset? No. The proper attitude is to move on and find a woman who is compatible with you.
In your case, try not to worry about having felt awkward. She went out with you, so she was at least interested enough to do that. If you like the girl, muster up all the confidence you can and let her know you enjoyed the date and ask if she would like to meet again. She might think she’s not a good match for you, in which case she shouldn’t waste your time. But she might like you.
Stop thinking of dating as the girl vetting you. Of course she is, but your job is to be vetting the girl. You’re worth something too.
Aww thanks dude. I just felt weird and I felt like she interrogating me. I did text her but I doubt we would go on a second date.
Oh, okay I see what you mean it was just weird to me how abrasive she was how much she wanted to learn about my past
Kk, well she hasn't texted me at all so I doubt I'm going to have a second date
Yup, I did
I told my girlfriend this, "I am with you now. What I had with her is done and I am thankful for what I learned while I was with her to make my relationship with you the best I can."
If you never had a girlfriend, you can be straight up about it saying you never were in a relationship. If you have had a girlfriend, fame it in a way to not only show your current commitment to her, but that you hold no resentment for your ex. Going down the road of talking about an ex girlfriend is a potential minefield because it can create comparison and insecurity in your current partner. Don't dodge the questions, but give answers that don't leave room for further conversation about it.
Hmm okay will do. Next time I get another date I will remember that 😌
I should clarify she didn't ask me about exes until we were together which is why I gave my response as the example here. This is when we got together officially. Not while we were in the process ofnearly dating.
Early dating*
Oh, okay well this girl was questioning my past and experiences. Also she said if I was the first black girl she dated which was super odd? Like am I supposed to lnow something about that?
Best you can? Interesting you know I feel sorry for your ex girlfriend. I bet she was wife material but I guess she's the one that got away. Later don't come up complaining when your stupid girlfriend took your wallet , Money house cars all because you choose a younger woman that's useless and not wife material.
Young woman are stupid!!!
People talk about this alllll the time. You don't have to tell your partner about every partner you have ever had. You don't need to tell them the number of partners that you have had. You have a right to your privacy
Okay, so I shouldn't tell her everything and other things?
I read this question and debate a lot on really reputable articles with psychologists. Many of them recommend not telling your partner everything (as it may also damage the relationship). You also have a right to your privacy.
Oh, okay well I just felt weird it out by this whole situation
Tell her the truth and don’t be awkward.. that being said I’d probably wonder why a guy your age hasn’t yet…
Oh, okay I'm a little embarrassed by it that's why 🥺🥺🥺
No need to don’t worry
Oh, okay 😊😊😊
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I'd just say I don't have any, but my first relationship was also hers, when I was 19 and lasted a whole 3 weeks, so I guess that was lucky for me.
Honesty is the best policy.
These days, if I get asked and when I start being honest, its like whoa... what the F and wow... and more like OMG maybe I better turn and run away.
i just told my first girlfriend that she was my first when we start dating. she seemed ok widdit and actually surprised. i wasn't her first. think u shouldn't be ashamed of who u r around girls. dat discomfort can ward off girls and make dem suspicious much faster than just being comfortable with urself and sharing it with them
if u try 2 play life safe 2 much wif people out of fear of being judged u tend 2 get questionable friends n few dates and u tend to keep even fewer in the long run. u have 2 gamble if u wanna win. and its not even much of a gamble becuz if ur 2 comfortably being urself and share urself around a girl and she doesn't wanna date u a second time 4 dat, what did u lose exactly? thats more like a gain than a loss. being ur truest self is how u find real friends and real lovers in ur life. holding it back is how u find fake ones or ones who only hang out with u 2 be nice or only hang out with u becuz they have no one else 2 hang with
Oh, okay
If your talking with a girl and your not ready to tell her you could just tell her that you want to get to know her more before you give out info like that
Ohh, that's better than just being shy and fumble
I is always better to tell the truth. You might have framed it so that there were circumstances beyond your control that resulted in this. Maybe you do not get to meet many women or something like that.
Don’t get weird or embarrassed.
if it’s the truth, be confident about that and own it.
most people pick up on awkward responses, and the gut reaction is to fish for more info. So be confident and avoid weird conversation
Okay I won't next time it just caught me out guard
I don't hide anything in my past. You wanna know? Ask me.
Okay, just wondering
Just say u don't have any it only becomes awkward when you start lying and can't back up anything your talking about lol
Well. I didn't lie and that is what I said but then she just kept asking me questions for the remainder of the date.
Lmfao, I didn't think of that, things got awkward but then I changed the conversation and it got a little bit better. But I doubt I am going to get a second date
Well, it could actually be more awkward if you do have exes, especially an ex-wife.
Just be honest that you've never had a relationship. It's nothing to be ashamed of and she'll figure it out anyway.
Kk, that's what I said and she just questioned me more. Was wondering why I never dated anyone before?
Oh, okay will remember that next time I have a date
I'd just be honest and say I've not had any relationships before.
If I did have any, I'd tell them stuff I was comfortable with and the rest I'd mention that I'm not comfortable mentioning yet.
tell the truth, you don;t have that. thats the equivalent of someone asking you if you have std's and proudly say no.
Rock it man, you got a blank check use it.
Okay I will just got to get more dates
Well if you don't have any thrn say that. There's not much more about that.
Kk, I did and she just bombarded me with more questions
Like about my past, why I wasn't dating and am I shy, self conscious, or just not hitting on girls?
oh, okay, just felt uncomfortable her just telling me questions about m dating past on a first date :(
I can understand that you would be embarrassed. But if this is someone that you are dating, then she really needs to accept you as you are. Plus, it's really not a bad thing.
It’s not my favorite topic of discussion but I’d answer her questions.
and if you don’t have any then just say that. It’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Just say you dont have exes or an ex. Whats so bad in not having an ex. Thats great actually.
Oh, is it even at my age 🥺
Yeah it doesn't matter. Why should it. at least you might be a first something to them.
Yeah I see what tou mean 😊
If you don't have any past, proudly say it. Most of the girls likes guys who are virgins and have no stories as guys expect girls to be 😊
Really it doesn't sound like they do?
I'm a virgin girl who only likes only a guy with no past. If she's like me, she will expect you to say the same. Anyways, honesty is what all matters in any relationship. If you have a past, say it. If you don't have any past, say it even more proudly, as she should be lucky that she's your first.
Being someone's first is actually great
Oh, okay just wondering. I just felt weird when she was just questioning me about my past. Is it really that special?
Even if some guy proposes me and if I want to be with him, I will question him about his past just to make sure he don't have any past and I'm his one and only.
That doesn't mean that I'm expecting him to have a past with some other girl. If he had any exes or the past which I cannot accept, then I won't accept him.
I question that just to make sure I'm his first because I want to feel special by being his first but not in the expectations to know that he's already been with someone else, which will kill my feelings for him instantly.
Every girl is different and have different expectations. If she's like me, she will expect the same answer like I'm expecting. Even if she's different, you need to be proudly honest about yourself, which is the first key for a relationship that every girl expects to have.
Honesty is always best. They will find out at some time.
I just tell them the truth and as much details as they want. However im quite experienced. Not sure the best to say when the answer is nothing. But usually the truth is best however I don't know you might get shut down for it. Girls dont usually like inexperienced men.
Oh, okay. Why do girl's hate inexperienced men?
I don't know fully but in part they are at least somewhat selective who they have sex with and if they are going to up their body count they want it to be good. Generally experience makes one better not always but usually. Someone who played guitar 10 years is usually better than someone who played one year. So its the safe bet.
A safer bet but how? How am I supposed to get experience if no one wants to fuck me?
Honestly its just harder at first but some girls don't mind. I remember back in high school i tried with two girls and got close but they told me no. Then this girl fucked me at a party somewhat publicly and word got out that i really railed her and then both girls came back and wanted to have sex. The girl at the party liked i was inexperienced and didn't mind if it was bad, she just had a thing for guys she could teach.
Ah, okay well I haven't meet anyone so far that like inexperienced guys. Not like I been on too many dates myself. I only been on 3 my whole life. So, yeah.
How does one make it to age 27 and not have sex or go on many dates? Are you very strict religious or very ugly? Im quite attractive and was raised atheist most of my life so i just slept around but tbh just existing I've had girls come hit on me, if i never tried to have sex id still have had sex with probably 10 or more girls by now, im 35.
Uhh, how about getting ghosted most of the time in college, being a broke college student, bot really confident talking to women, being average, super short guy like 5'2, having girls give me their numbers and never text me back or respond, getting stood up on dates, thinking that I was never good enough for anyone, tried dating apps multiple times but no matches, and still being a virgin. 🥺 so, yeah thats how...
Well damn. The little mexicans at walmart have girlfriends and wives. Dont let that stop you. They have machismo. Do you act like a beta, wimp, submissive?
Dude, I don't care about that bullshit alpha, beta shit. I just act like a genuine guy and not seem like a total dick.
Well thats why tiny men who dont even speak English have girlfriends and you dont. Not my problem just trying to help you. You may think you're just a genuine guy but you're not, you're a guy who never learned how to be a man.
Uhh, okay then how do you become a man then in your eyes? What makes a man?
Protect provide lead and be confident in your abilities to do those things. Have principles and standards for your own behavior and others and don't compromise. Now put this all together and you will appear like a dick. Lol.
Hmmm that really doesn't help at all. Being vague isn't going to help me because I have little experience. I would've like some specifics examples?
here's one many men get hung up on when they are new to this. Say the hottest woman you could ever imagine is sitting next to you. she's so turned on and says lets have coffee here at this coffee shop and after our pleasant conversation im going to take you to my house and have crazy awesome sex with you as much as you want. So now you're talking and she says something that is incorrect or wrong. Do you challenge her and interrupt the pleasant conversation with disagreement or do you just nod your head in agreement and say "yes yes i have noticed the sky is sometimes yellow"? Lol or some other equally nonsensical garbage. "Yes i agree crystals generate electricity and wearing one unlocks your mental capabilites" "yes feminism" whatever those are some examples. A simp just agrees. A "total dick" like you said, disagrees and calls her out. Why though does everyone associate having a standard for truth and expecting to speak about reality a dick like its a bad thing? I would say "no a crystal does not unlock your brain power but i know what can decrease your brain power until you're a drooling mess" hint the answer is my dick in her mouth. Im never going to agree to some nonsense. Women purposly test men this way its called and shit test. Single women cling to some irrational nonsense for fun and to fuck with men. They then seek men who are man enough to put them in their place and set them straight... speaks to leadership confidence having standards and not being pussywhipped into giving up your own principles. And this is why girls always seem to get with men they have conflict with. Its not genuine its a man showcasing his personal qualities to resistance. They like that.
tell the truth we girls like honest guys
Okay and I did but she kept asking me more questions 🙃
Why would the truth ever be awkward? Own that shit
Kk, I will next time
wow im asking that myself many times..
I'd be honest
Simple, i lie about my body count.
Huh, why would I do that?
Cause you want her to think your a man whore?
How does that make it any better?
You aren't to bright are ya?
Nope, it just makes me into a liar
Or she will despise you for fking all her friends... your choice.
So, why would I do that in the first place?
I am sorry man, i can't fix your kind of stupid.
Alright ass
Butt hurt much?
Tell her
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