Would you marry someone with these qualities: indecisiveness and needing constant reassurance?

Question

Indecisiveness  Constantly needing reassurance that they're good enough

dampedlife15 · Accepted Answer

I have had a past relationship where she was so verbally abusive with this topic that I just couldn’t handle it. My take on it based on what I’ve dealt with is that there is possibility for the person to really project their issues to your life and have it sour or affect your relationships with not just them but others. I've had to abstain from hanging with all my other friends due to her jealous antics and or suicidal episodes for me to go to her place and comfort her. It was so draining.

I feel like others can handle Giving reassurance but constant reassurance can feel like you are responsible for them as if they are a child or feel responsible for emotions you have no control over. So for me it’s a no but I’m done to give reassurance once in a blue moon but for others I can see how they can.

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

When want partners, not damsels in distress. This is the kind of woman we want to go through life with to prevent and slaughter the problems crises that will occur throughout life.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

These two deficits, not "qualities," are the result of a lack of maturity and low self-esteem.

You aren't a therapist. Why do you want to assume the role of one?

You cannot solve someone's low self-esteem issues anymore than you can assure them they're "OK." This will take work on THEIR part with a professional. And if they're seeking this from YOU, they aren't ready to change. They're taking the easy way out.

Cut your losses and find a well-adjusted adult.

hhadeshatesme · Accepted Answer

No, sounds like someone damaged from past relationships and didn’t take the necessary time and steps to heal. Come healed cause I don’t care what your ex did you are not about to make my life harder

SarcasticBrother · Answer

Ok, here goes nothing...

So, is she aware of her short-comes and able to except guidance and leadership? But, even with that said there are levels to indecisiveness... On a scale from 1-10 with 10 being the best. How indecisive is the woman? Because everything existence exist on a spectrum and with that said the more disorderly and indecisive the women. The greater the burden or requirement or need will be place upon the man to compensate.

If, this woman is 1-3 on the scale she should probably expect/except a man who is 8-10 (with ten being the best) on the scale of orderliness and decisiveness scale. Which would also require an acceptance of his strengths or leadership/decision making ability. This does not mean that a womans view opinions are unimportant to the overall decision-making process.

In what areas of life does the indecisiveness present itself and how? Indecisiveness is only an issue for the unorganized short-term thinking kind of a man who is to far on the lower end of the spectrum. But, most men are naturally decisive and most of the rest can easily gain this attribute if it is foster.

Constantly needing reassurance that they're good enough?

Being a man, I understand that the reassurance of your lady is an important part of a relationship. The requestion here is at what point is the expectation of a man reassurance become unrealistic or unfair to his mental health.

So, does she have the ability to gain self-assurance over time? Is this something a man could help or is it a job for professional help? Is the lady already getting professional help? Does this person suffer from a trauma? Will this be a permanent dent in her their self-esteem?

But, even with that said there are levels to self-esteem also... On a scale from 1-10 with 10 being the best. How low is it? How is their self-esteem effected as in which area of life are we talking about?

TexasRed95 · Answer

I mean that's how I feel. I have little to no self-esteem because of how my childhood went. I was heavily abused by my father and I could never successfully make friends. My only "friends" were adults that tolerated having a kid around because they knew I didn't have anyone else. When my father left us I was 19 and had to work my ass off these last 7 years to take care of my mom and little sister. Now my mom sold the house and moved off without a thank you or anything. So here I am with no savings, family to help, or even a car. Yeah sorry this turned into a venting session. But I would date someone like me.

boggboss · Answer

To be honest no I wouldn't want a partner like this as no matter how much assurance I gave her it won't fix the issue and someone like this would be a bad modal to have a child with as they would end up installing there insecurities into our children later on

alice55 · Answer

Not sure I would say yes if Iove him though I might get snappy with him from time to time if it's too much, too often. I guess it would mainly depend on how much I love him, if I truly do I would say yes even if I surely would get annoyed from time to time if I don't love him that much then no.

wheresmrcunnunglis · Answer

Hell no, as it would feel akin to coddling the person, and I can't STAND coddling people or being coddling myself. I would encourage, but once I think they're asking for more than that and want me to be their primary support beam instead of simply being complimentary. Then I start distancing myself and start thinking about ending things before I lose respect for them as a person and an adult.

HighlyVolatile · Answer

Indecisiveness might work with me since I'm too decisive and headstrong. We might balance each other out that way. But the constant need for reassurance would tire me out very quickly.

HighValue · Answer

If she is indecisive, will she be okay with me making the decisions often, or will she question the decisions then too?

And is her indecisiveness so bad that she can't even decide what to eat when going out for food?

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

Well I liked a girl like that and I didn't find it a bother having to constantly remind her how beautiful she was but eh who knows, maybe after a long time If I don't get tired maybe I'd end up accomplishing rising her self esteem

Juxtapose · Answer

No, I'm kind of done dealing with people who don't have a grasp on their problems by now. I'm 7 years away from being 40, I'm way too old for this shit.

Needadvice1202 · Answer

Usually if somebody is like this it's because of some past trauma that they may not even realize they have, they need therapy and support from their partner but you have to decide if it's worth it

Jltakk · Answer

Sure. Everyone has flaws. There is a level to everything. If this woman is great at literally everything else and most importantly, loves being around me, which says a lot, sure, why not.

Anonymous · Answer

No. If the roles were reversed I know she wouldn't with me. So why would I with her?

Morning_Cereal · Answer

No would annoy me too much. I mean a little is ok but not like tons of it

Snakeyes7 · Answer

Those are annoying but I can think of far worse qualities.

Joshua0213 · Answer

If they're still like that after the years of dating, then no way

jahaims · Answer

No, those are signs of immaturity

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

No, and i aslo would NOT marry someone like you for actually asking this question... I mean "seriously?"

Ninania · Answer

I did unknowingly, now we're divorced.

fred_durst · Answer

that is pain in the ass

sensible27 · Answer

Everything irrational is fixable.

IsoUser · Answer

I wouldn't mind as long as she swallowed twice.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Just no. Like no matter what NO!

In_Trance · Answer

you mean, a human being?

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Yes cause I used to have that type of girl

Anonymous · Answer

yes..

Slim57 · Answer

Nope

Would you marry someone with these qualities: indecisiveness and needing constant reassurance?

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