My boyfriend didn’t invite me to his birthday dinner?

[Lunatt08]

We've known each other for two years through work. After that, we spent a year getting to know each other as friends.
We both developed feelings for each other and have been dating for four months. I've had the opportunity to meet his family and close friends.
His birthday is approaching, and he has planned a dinner and drinks with one of his friendship group. He bought it up to me, but he hasn't invited me.
I was sad/upset that I wasn't invited and told him so. He claims that this group is very private and that they do not invite their significant others to outings. We have a birthday getaway at the end of the month, which I planned.

Is it reasonable for me to be disappointed/upset that I was not invited?
Is this something to be concerned about, or is it unimportant?
I'll talk to him about it after I've collected my thoughts, feelings, and assessment of the situation.
(F) 22 , (M) 27

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

It’s reasonable to be upset, because after all it is your boyfriend and you’d like to spend time with him on his birthday. BUT, it is his birthday and he does have the liberty to spend it with his close friends, which he already disclosed that it is a private friend group (boys group?)


I do not think it is something to worry about because there should be trust and there should be respect in relationships. If he wishes to have a “boys day” for his birthday, respect those wishes and enjoy the time you have with him one on one for that getaway trip you have planned.


Besides, I would think a private birthday getaway is 10x more enjoyable than spending time with him his buddies.

[Lunatt08]

Thank you for your advice, I think I have a better understand from his perspective now. It is his friendship group (boys and girls included). I appreciate your honesty and explanation.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

You’re welcome.
I see. I think it should be an upcoming conversation to discuss that you feel a bit excluded, maybe? Because I totally get it, my boyfriend has his guy/girl friend group too. I think as long as he respects and understand your feelings about this, he could be more considerate of including you in groups for certain events.

[Lunatt08]

Yes I think I will definitely follow this up! As the conversation we had about this issue was very vague. I will take your advice and mention about future events then 😊 I hope he doesn’t dismiss the idea of inviting me out with his friends in the future

[coolbreeze]

At least he knows how you feel about it. Guys sometimes like to spend alone time with their friends and then do seperated things with their girlfriends.

[Avicenna]

Yeah, anyone would be really disappointed about that

[Anonymous]

Either he has a side chick or you are. That is the only reason a guy wouldn't invite his girlfriend to a planned birthday dinner.

[Playboy2424]

Umm. What kind of relationship is this?

[Lunatt08]

We are exclusively dating

[Playboy2424]

You're not at all his priority

[Anonymous]

He is not much of a boyfriend.

[Iron_Man]

Talk it out